


A Million Dreams

by JenniM777



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: AU, Angst, Bi Shiro, Cancer, Comfort, F/M, Family, Gay Keith, Gen, Hunk/Shay - Freeform, Hurt, Keith has issues, Keith/Other(s) - Freeform, Lance/James Griffin - Freeform, Lance/Other(s) - Freeform, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Mentions of Death, Mentions of attempted sexual abuse, Mild Language, Minor Character Death, PINING KEITH, Shiro/Allura - Freeform, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Veronica/Matt - Freeform, bi lance, broganes, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-26
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2019-07-17 19:48:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 53,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16102580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenniM777/pseuds/JenniM777
Summary: He wants to turn tail and run until the nerves dissipate, but he plants his feet in the metaphorical sinking sand. He lets out a hum, "You're right. I'm not here for just a two-day visit.""Oh? Is there something more?"Keith turns back to face the setting sun and the crystal blue water that's a calm contrast to his insides, "something like that."Keith has never had the best of luck, and it started at an early age. But somewhere a long the way he'sfound a family, friends, and a new outlook on life. A long the way he's learned to believe in dreamsand the hope that those dreams can come true. After all, a million dreams is all it's gonna take.





	1. Temporary Home

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first multi-chapter story. I'm excited and nervous all at the same time to post this. I can't promise a set schedule for up-dating because I work crazy hours but I do have a large portion of this story already written out and I have a huge outline of where this is going.
> 
> Feel free to make suggestions (except for my horrible grammar mistakes!). I probably have too many commas, too many run-on sentences, and a few continuity errors but this is all for fun. Please...no bashing.  
> I'm also up for any recommendations on a good beta-reader to catch all my horrible mistakes and possibly even to help with my remaining plot.
> 
> There are some trigger warnings for this chapter: There is mention of abuse but nothing in graphic detail, and there is mention of attempted sexual abuse but again nothing in graphic detail. Some of the upcoming chapters will have additional tags and triggers but won't be added until the chapters are posted to avoid giving away potential spoilers. 
> 
> If I've forgotten a tag or failed to mention a trigger please let me know. I want to ensure everyone reading this story feels comfortable and fairly warned at any given time. It's hard to specifically point out areas to skip because this whole first chapter has stuff sprinkled throughout. But I wanted to keep this as safe as possible so I will never go into a whole lot of graphic detail.
> 
> And finally...I do not own Voltron or any of it's characters. I just use them to create my own story.

_Little boy, six years old_

_A little too used to bein’ alone_

_Another house that’ll never be home_

_Temporary Home: Carrie Underwood_

 

Keith doesn’t remember his mom, just flashes of what may be a memory. He thinks she had the same color eyes as him; a dark blue/grey that people sometimes mistake for purple. He thinks he remembers her arms, warm and soft, never squeezing him too tight. And he thinks he remembers her voice, especially when he’s had a bad dream, singing a song about rainbows and being far away.

Keith does remember his dad though. He remembers his laugh, his thick drawl, and how he loved to listen to that old country music that was nothing but the twang of guitars and raspy voices telling stories as nimble fingers plucked at guitar strings. His dad’s arms were strong, his shirts smelled of hay and dust, and he always made Keith smile.

Keith was barely 5 years old when the social workers came to take him away. The last thing he remembered was his dad telling him to be good, he would be back soon. It was supposed to snow that evening and his dad had to make sure the horses and cows were warm enough in the barn. But that had been a long time ago. It had gotten dark, and he was scared. He wasn’t scared of the dark he was just scared because he had never been by himself when it got dark like this. And now this was the second or third night by himself and he was hungry and cold. Keith wanted to go outside to see if his dad had taken care of the animals, but the snow and the wind were too much. He could barely even open the door or see out of the windows. But his dad said to be good, so he would be good and he waited.

He wasn’t sure how many days it had been but one day there was a lady there, and a cop. Keith thought they were coming to tell him they found his dad and everything would be ok, but his dad wasn’t with them. He trembled with cold but all he wanted was his dad, so he asked the lady, “Where’s my dad?”

The lady just sighed and told him to put some things in a bag. This time he tried the cop, at least he seemed nice enough to Keith, “Did you find my dad? Is he coming back?”

The cop knelt down in front of Keith but instead of answering his questions he asked a few of his own. “Has your dad ever left you alone before?”

Keith shook his head, “he told me to be good, and he needed to check on the horses before it snowed.”

The cop nodded, “Did he come back after checking the horses?”

Keith felt his eyes water as he shook his head, “He told me to wait inside because it was too cold.”

He tried so hard to be brave but he couldn’t help the tears. He just wanted his dad, and now these people wanted to take him away from his home but his dad was coming back and what would he think if Keith wasn’t there when he came home? He wouldn’t know where to find him; they wouldn’t even let him leave a note.

He was shuffled off to an orphanage with just a small bag of his belongings and terrified of everyone and everything. No one would tell him where his dad was. His dad would never leave him alone, but the lady just got cross with him when he asked about his dad so he stopped asking. It didn’t help that the first few families he had been left with were not the best care givers. It came as a shock to his system when instead of the familiar hugs and kindness he always had from his dad he was instead met with screams or fists, sometimes belts. Other times he was left alone in dirty houses with barely any food to get by for days on end. He never stayed long at these places but it was long enough to create distrust for anyone.

During those two years, Keith became a shell of the happy boy he used to be. He was scared to speak, afraid that it would result in yelling. He was terrified of any sudden movement, an arm reaching out sent Keith into a panic. Being touched was never a good thing anymore. It usually meant a hard slap to the face, a belt with biting marks on his small legs, and one attempt at an inappropriate touch that made Keith bite and scream, running out of that house in a panic and hiding under the house until the neighbors called the cops. He still has nightmares about what could have happened.

At seven he was finally taken in by a family with a son who was eight years older than Keith. But after two years in questionable foster homes he was too skinny, too used to mistreatment, and far too wary to believe the words of comfort and gentle hugs that were once again given so freely. Because of several instances of severe malnourishment and abuse, his immune system was fairly weak and he was often sick. But he had long since learned that getting sick was frowned upon, another reason he was just a burden. Getting sick often resulted in a different sort of cruelty. Getting sick meant he was forced to spend two whole days sleeping in an outside shed in the middle of winter because he couldn’t stop throwing up. He wasn’t allowed inside because he might give someone his filthy diseases. Only when a teacher realized he hadn’t been at school for almost a week with no explanation from the foster family was someone sent to check on him. Another foster family had once sent him to school with the flu. They hadn’t wanted to deal with a sick child so they forced him to take several doses of an over the counter medicine. The bus driver noticed his overly glazed eyes and waited until all the other students had gotten off the bus. She helped Keith to the principal’s office and sat with him until they could get the school nurse to look over him. Getting sick never got him a break from having to do chores. He was still forced to rake leaves or shovel snow from driveways no matter how sore and heavy his body felt.

He tried to hide from his new foster family when he was sick. He fought, he cried, he screamed and lashed out, and he hid under his bed terrified that this was just some cruel joke and he would wake up in another foster home with people who really didn’t care and only took him in for the money offered in looking after a government street rat. But the Brookstone family, Josh and Anna, were nothing if not persistent in their love for Keith. And their only son had taken it as a personal challenge to get the smaller boy to open up and accept what they were offering to him. Takashi, or Shiro because Keith struggled with saying Takashi, was adopted by the Brookstones and told Keith everyday how much they loved him. As young as Keith was, it was hard for him to comprehend that this family wouldn’t hurt him like the others did just because he wasn’t really their kid.

Surprisingly enough it was Mrs. Brookstone or Anna as she insisted Keith call her, who was able to get the breakthrough they all desperately wanted. Never having a mother figure in his life, Keith was drawn to Anna with a deep curiosity that left him feeling hollow and empty in a way he didn’t know how to deal with. He swore to himself however that he wouldn’t be fooled by her fake kindness.

It unnerved him the first time he became sick and he was bundled up in soft blankets and cool towels pressed against his overly warm face. Keith had been trying to hide all morning how he felt; the tired ache seemed to come from deep in his bones. He managed to eat some of his breakfast without raising any questions from either Josh or Anna but he knew school was going to be a struggle; he was already starting to feel the flush on his cheeks and the chills in his body. Keith was moving slowly as he gathered his school bag. He felt more than saw Anna watching him. Keith watched with a wary eye as she approached him. She always spoke gently and today was no exception, but he still flinched away from her. He knew one day the bad side of her was going to come out so he was always watching, always wary. She was handing him his coat and gloves when she spoke, “Are you feeling ok this morning?”

Keith backed away watching her hands with sharp but tired eyes for any sudden movement as he took his coat from her and put it on. His voice was slightly scratchy, “I just didn’t sleep good last night.”

Anna hummed a little, “Did you have a nightmare? I didn’t hear you wake up if you did.”

Keith glared at Anna. He didn’t like being reminded he woke up crying like a baby from bad dreams. His words were sharp when he responded, “No, I just kept waking up.”

Nothing was said further but Anna made a point to slip into Keith’s classroom and speak to his teacher without him noticing. She made sure to let Ms. Sunnie know she was concerned about Keith that day. Anna was fond of Keith’s teacher. She was young and it was her first year as a teacher but she was kind and attached to all of her students. She especially had a soft spot for Keith after having to learn of his background because of some of his behavioral issues. She reassured Anna that she would call her right away if she felt like Keith was indeed getting sick. But for the most part both adults decided to let Keith have his way for the moment and pretend he was ok.

Keith tried to convince himself he was ok but he knew it was a losing battle. He completed the paper about shapes, he read the words on the board when he was called on, and he even made an A on a surprise math test that morning. By the time he was in line for lunch his energy was gone. He leaned heavily against the wall while his class waited their turn to enter the noisy cafeteria, and once he was sitting with his tray in front of him he pushed it forward and just let his head drop on the table. The cool surface felt good against his flushed face but it sent a shiver through his small body and once he started he couldn’t stop. His teeth chattered and he stared at nothing.

Keith was vaguely aware of Ms. Sunnie kneeling next to him. She was asking him a question about touching his forehead. He tried to nod but he stopped as it made his head hurt. He felt her hand on his forehead and more talking. Keith frowned as fevered thoughts jumbled around in his head. He tried to determine what it was about teachers that never scared him, and he thought maybe it was because they weren’t allowed to hit kids and it was always a teacher that made sure he was moved from a bad foster home. The more he thought about it the more he leaned into Ms. Sunnie as she helped him from his chair and put a hand on his shoulder to lead him back to the classroom. While Keith slumped into his desk, Ms. Sunnie slipped out and asked one of the other teachers to watch her students until someone came for Keith.

Keith hardly remembered much as Anna helped him slip on his coat and checked him out of school for the rest of the day. Once buckled in to the back seat of the car he drifted in and out of consciousness only slightly aware that they weren’t going in the right direction to head home. He recognized the building of the doctor that Anna brought him and Shiro to for their check-ups. Even as sick as he was he kept an eye on the nurse taking his temperature and listening to his chest through the stethoscope. He was fine for the most part until they wanted to administer a shot. He wasn’t sure what triggered his sudden panic but for the first time he could remember he was terrified of that needle.

Keith hadn’t realized the nurse had stepped out of the small room when Anna scooped him up into her arms. She held him in her lap and rocked back and forth with him for a few minutes. She noticed he was too exhausted from being sick to put up his usual fight from being held but it didn’t stop his body from trembling. She kissed his forehead softly and pushed his sweaty bangs from his forehead, “Do you remember when Josh and I brought you and Shiro for your check-ups before school started?”

She felt Keith nod against her chest. “Do you remember the doctor telling you that in order to go to school you had to have certain shots to help keep you from getting sick?”

Keith nodded again. Anna continued, “This is just like that. Except instead of keeping you from getting sick, this shot is going to help you get better. It won’t hurt any more than the other shots you’ve already had.”

After a few minutes of gentle coaxing, the nurse was finally able to administer the shot to Keith while Anna continued to hold him. The nurse told Anna that she would need to stay for a few extra minutes to make sure Keith didn’t have an adverse reaction to the shot so while she waited she sent a quick text to Josh updating him on Keith and asked if he could pick up Shiro from school and Keith’s medicine from the pharmacy.

While Anna checked a few things off on her phone and made arrangements to spend the next few days at home with Keith, she noticed he had fallen asleep. He hadn’t coughed at all today but she couldn’t help but worry about the slight rattle she heard as he took small even breaths in his sleep. She always worried at how small he was compared to other kids his age, but it worried her more when she actually lifted him into her arms to walk to her car. He was the smallest of his second grade class but holding him just then she felt as if he couldn’t be much bigger than some of the kids she saw in kindergarten. She buckled him into the back of the car and tucked his coat around him then drove home. He was still asleep so she carried him inside and put him on her and Josh’s bed instead of trying to carry him up the stairs to his own room.

While Keith slept Anna decided to start cooking early and she kept the bedroom door open to listen out for Keith. It was only thirty minutes later when she heard Keith wake up and stumble to the bathroom. She found him on his knees leaning heavily over the toilet and unable to stop his stomach from releasing its contents. His face was flushed and his small arms trembled trying to support his body. When he was done Anna wiped his face with a damp cloth to wipe away the tears and sweat. Keith was too exhausted to realize Anna had wrapped him up in a soft blanket and carried him from the bathroom and laid him on the sofa so she could keep an eye on him while she finished cooking.

Keith wasn’t really aware of anything much except that he wasn’t asleep but he also wasn’t quite awake. He just drifted in a semi-dazed state trying not to think about how miserable he felt. Before he could even register what was happening he was falling forward onto the floor and vomiting once again. Just as his stomach finished heaving he felt Anna help him lean back against the sofa and away from the mess on the floor. She wiped his face again and held a glass in front of him. “Take a small sip of ginger ale for me. It will help your stomach a bit.”

Keith took a small sip and gagged at the taste. Anna stood up and came back with a different glass, “Here sweetie, take a sip of water instead.”

The water was cool against his throat and Keith let out a whimper as Anna pulled the glass away, “Not too fast, you don’t want it to all come back up again.”

After a few more small sips, Keith let his head fall back against the sofa, too exhausted to move from the floor. He heard Anna in the kitchen and cracked his eyes open when he heard her making her way back into the living room. His breath caught in his throat when he saw a familiar bottle with a yellow label in her hand and when she opened it and the smell of artificial lemon filled the room he scrambled to his feet and away from Anna. “I’m sorry! I won’t get sick again! I don’t need the medicine. I promise I won’t throw up anymore! I’m all better now!”

Anna paled at Keith’s sudden panic. She looked down at the small bottle of lemon scented disinfectant in her hands and back to Keith and her heart dropped to her toes. She prayed with everything she had that someone hadn’t given a small child, her child, a harsh kitchen cleaner as punishment for being sick. With trembling hands she placed the bottle on the floor and walked slowly to Keith. His eyes were wide and his face was even more pale than normal. He was mumbling and crying, pleading for her not to give him the “medicine.”

Kneeling down in front of Keith she pulled his hands gently away as they tried to scratch his arms in his panic. “Keith, can you tell me why you thought this was medicine?”

Anna watched as the small child trembled and shook. His voice was barely a whisper when he responded, “The last time I got sick before I came here I got medicine that smelled just like that.”

Anna had to force herself not to grip Keith’s hands too tight and frighten him anymore. She blinked rapidly to keep the tears of anger from falling, “What did the medicine look like or taste like? Do you remember?”

Keith nodded, “It smelled just like when you opened that bottle. It was kind of a bright yellow and it burned. Please don’t make me drink it. I promise I won’t be sick anymore, I don’t want to drink it.”

Anna took a deep breath and wiped a few tears from Keith’s cheeks choosing to ignore how horribly he flinched away from her. She sat cross-legged in front of Keith, “Have you learned the word disinfectant in school yet?”

Keith shook his head so Anna continued. “Well, a disinfectant is something that can be used to clean different things in a house. Some people use it to clean counter tops in the kitchen after cutting up meat and vegetables before they’ve been cooked. It can also be used in bathrooms to clean the sinks, tubs and especially toilets. And a lot of times a disinfectant is used to clean up when people are sick. It helps to keep germs from spreading and getting other people sick. Hospitals use them a lot because they have a lot of sick people and they need to keep the doctors and nurses from getting sick.”

Anna watched Keith take in what she was telling him. His eyes were still wary and he was still trembling uncontrollably but he hadn’t pulled away from her yet so she considered it a win. She gently squeezed his hands, “Can I read the label on the bottle I brought in here? I won’t open it at all. Is that ok?”

Keith stared at Anna trying to gauge her true intentions. If she hadn’t been paying attention she would have missed the small nod. She reached slowly behind her to grab the bottle. She pulled it in her lap careful to keep her hands away from the bottle top and faced the label towards Keith. She used her finger to point out where she was reading and watched as his eyes followed along. “To be used when cleaning kitchen or bathroom surfaces such as countertops, stoves, sinks, tubs and toilets. May also be used to disinfect hardwood, tile, or linoleum floors.”

Keith looked up as Anna help up a finger, “One more thing.” She moved her finger to the bottom of the bottle and pointed to large bold letters. “Not to be ingested. If swallowed call poison control immediately.”

Anna put the bottle back down away from her and Keith. She grabbed his hands again, “I don’t know what you were given last time you got sick. I don’t know if they gave you medicine or something that wasn’t meant to make you feel better. But I promise you, that bottle is not medicine. I will never give you something that you aren’t supposed to. Josh will never give you something that is not meant for you to have.”

Anna reached a hand forward to subtly check Keith’s temperature disguised as wiping his hair from his face. She traced her hand from his cheek to just underneath his chin to lift his head, “Anytime you are concerned about something that Josh or I have given you, you can tell us. Anytime you’re concerned that Shiro might have given you something he shouldn’t have, you can tell us. You will never get in trouble for asking questions.”

Keith bit his bottom lip to hide the trembling. He blinked slowly as exhaustion started to hit him full force from his bout of vomiting and his earlier panic. He must have closed his eyes for longer than expected because he felt himself being lifted up and carried. He meant to push himself out of Anna’s arms but the next thing he knew she was placing him on a bed far too big to be his. The lights were off and a small lamp was on giving off just enough light to keep it from being too dark. He registered blankets being tucked around him and gentle hands carding through his hair. He thought he felt the lightest kiss pressed to his forehead before he was pulled into sleep.

Keith woke up to the sound of Josh and Anna talking in hushed whispers. His brain was too fuzzy to make out much of the conversation but he did catch snippets, and he thought Anna’s voice sounded strangely muffled.

“….can’t believe…..something like……just a child.”

“We can’t…….baseless accusations…..proof.”

“Who…..think they are…..it’s not………I will fight……for Keith.”

“What can…..do you want? Tell me……I will support…and …..make it work.”

“Call tomorrow……..I want to……ours.”

The sound of footsteps coming closer to the bed had Keith blinking slowly. He felt the bed dip as Anna sat next to him placing her hand on his forehead again. “Hey sweetie, are you feeling better?”

Keith blinked but didn’t answer, he was just too exhausted. He tried to let his eyes close and slip back into sleep but Anna placed an arm behind Keith’s back and lifted him to a sitting position. His eyes were glazed and unfocussed and he slumped against Anna. She was wiping his face with a cool cloth and Keith couldn’t help but sigh in relief at how good that felt instead of fighting against it as he normally would. Keith tried to lean back into the pillows but felt Anna holding him upright. “I know you’re tired but Josh is home and he picked up some medicine from the pharmacy that I need you to take.”

At the word medicine, Keith’s eyes widened and he shook his head back and forth. He tried to back away from Anna but he was too weak to put up much of a fight. He started mumbling words, broken pleas and apologies, “I’m sorry. I’ll be good, please don’t make me take the medicine. I promise I’ll get better, I won’t get sick again. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m all better. Don’t make me….”

Keith didn’t notice the look of concern that passed between Josh and Anna. What he did recognize was Anna holding him in her lap once again hushing his apologies. She waited until he quieted down and explained to him about medicine coming from a pharmacy, showing him the label the same way she showed him the label on the disinfectant. It wasn’t until he was completely calm and understood that this was truly medicine did she open the bottle and give him the proper dosage. Keith was terrified of taking whatever medicine Anna had in her hand but as weak and tired as he was he knew it was useless to fight. He wasn’t strong enough on his best days to win that battle and today…well today he wasn’t going to win any battles. He tentatively opened his mouth and held back his surprise at the taste. It wasn’t necessarily good, there was still a burn in his throat when he swallowed whatever he was given, but it tasted almost like candy. His thoughts were jumbled as Anna continued to hold him in her lap. The feel of the soft blanket keeping him warm, the comfort of Anna’s arms holding him never too tight, the gentle rocking motion as she hummed, and the kisses pressed to his forehead left him trembling for an entirely different reason. He had never been treated this way by the other families he stayed with. They all just yelled and beat him for being useless. Keith felt everything crumbling around him and all he could do was cry. Instead of yelling, Anna shifted him until his small legs were wrapped around her waist and he was burying his face into the crook of her neck and weakly clutching at the sweater she was wearing. There was something in him yearning and reaching for a long missing piece of him and in his fever induced state he didn’t realize he was calling out for it, Anna holding him as tears fell down her own cheeks as Keith desperately and brokenly called out for someone who would never come for him. His voice was ragged and shaky, “Mama…I want…I want my mama…..Mama..please. I want my, I want my mama.” It wasn’t long until he was asleep once again and Anna couldn’t bear to let go of the small boy who only wanted a mama and someone to love him.

Because of Keith’s weakened immune system, this wasn’t the last time he became sick but it was the first time he could remember not being punished for something he couldn’t control. He was sure his dad must have taken care of him when he was sick before but he couldn’t remember.

Worse than getting sick were the nightmares. While he was sick often enough, it was mostly in the cold winter months. The nightmares however were almost every night. He woke up many nights sweaty, cheeks tracked with salty tears he didn’t even know he had cried, sometimes screaming for a mom he never knew or his dad that just left for no reason. Other times he woke up begging for the beatings and screaming to stop. And rarely his nightmares consisted of too many made up scenarios of what could have happened if those bad touches had continued. Those nightmares were always the worst. Many of those nights he found himself against a soft body, gentle arms around his smaller shaking frame, long thin fingers carding through his hair so softly. Keith hated those moments of tenderness from Anna. They terrified him more than the cruelty he had suffered. His body would tremble and shake, he would sometimes vomit from anxiety, he would dig his fingernails into his skin making his hands or arms and legs bleed, and he would cry silent tears because crying never did any good anyway. He never reacted to those touches, resisted the urge to hug back, and clenched his small fingers into tight fists instead of wrapping around the waist of the woman singing softly, cheek resting against his head, breath ruffling his hair with her words. Keith was so scared that one false move and those soft touches would turn to fists and slaps, so he stayed as still as possible each time. But every time Anna stayed with Keith. She would rub soft circles on his back until he was no longer heaving, she would gently pull his fingers away until he could no longer scratch at his skin, she would get a soft cloth to clean away the blood from those scratches and then she would stay until Keith cried his nightmares away and drifted back off to sleep.

And then one night Anna started singing a song that Keith knew. He remembered it from a long forgotten memory. It was a memory of another woman with soft touches, eyes like his, and a soft voice.

_Someday I’ll wish upon a star,_

_And wake up where the clouds are far behind me,_

_Where troubles melt like lemon drops,_

_Away above the chimney tops,_

_That’s where you’ll find me,_

 

To anyone else it would seem as if those soft touches and kind words were bouncing off the tough exterior Keith presented. But that song stripped him of his defenses. Every night after that became harder and harder to keep the walls up, to push away the ache and need of wanting more of that softness. Each touch left him trembling as his defenses began to slowly crumble, as he realized he wanted those hugs and kind words. Some nights he even found himself clutching the fabric of Anna’s robe instead of digging his nails into his arms, or he found himself turning his face just enough to bury it against her neck, and one night several months later he found himself waking up in tears calling for Anna and Josh instead of his real mom or dad. And when Anna pulled him into her arms he couldn’t understand why he was wrapping his small arms around her neck, why he buried his face into her neck and why when she tried to set him back in his bed he could only shake his head and whisper, “no, no, no….” over and over until Anna sat back holding Keith tightly resting against the headboard of his small twin bed rubbing soft circles on his back, “Ok, shhhh, it’s ok. I’m not going to leave.”

It was undoing him in a way he couldn’t comprehend. These people weren’t his real family, yet they treated him the same way he remembered his dad treating him, the same smiles, the laughter, and as he watched the ease with which Shiro bonded with his parents Keith prayed nightly that he might one day believe that someone somewhere in this world could love him the same way.

That day came a little over a year later when Keith overheard Anna and Josh talking in hushed voices. Instinct kicking in, Keith hovered just beyond the doorway when he realized they were talking about him.

“Should we tell him tonight? I wonder if it would be best if we wait until its official. He’s already so fragile and we won’t know if it is definite until the next scheduled visit.”

Keith heard Josh sigh, “I don’t want to get Keith’s hopes up. Or Shiro’s. Both boys will be devastated if this doesn’t pan out. Especially now that Keith is starting to open up more.”

There was a sound of a chair scraping across the floor and Keith edged forward to peek into the small kitchen. He saw Anna hunched forward, head resting in her hands. He watched as she finally looked up, “I want him to know we care, that we have done everything we can. That we don’t want him to go anywhere else.”

Keith backed up slowly, his mind going down that horrible path of rejection and disappointment. Were they going to tell him he had to leave? That he couldn’t stay? Were the social workers coming to take him away from the first place he felt he might actually have a chance at finally having a home and a family since his father left? He had tried to be so good for them. He stumbled away from the door and fell backwards. He heard Josh and Anna coming from the kitchen to see what happened. Keith scrambled back until he was pressed against a wall, breath coming in short painful gasps, his vision starting to blur. He heard voices but couldn’t make out the words, he felt cool hands gentle on his cheeks but he still couldn’t breathe. The tears started before he could pull up the walls he so desperately built to keep from feeling the inevitable hurt. And then Keith reached forward and clutched at arms, initiating contact for the first time in over two years and begged. “Please don’t send me away!! Please Anna. Please don’t let them take me!! Josh please I promise I’ll be good!”

Anna pulled Keith into her lab and held him, “Oh sweetheart, shhhh it’s okay.”

But it was as if Keith couldn’t hear what she was saying. He was so desperate to plead his case his fists gripped Anna’s shirt pulling the fabric tight, “I’ll stop biting and getting in fights, please! Please don’t let them…. don’t…I don’t want to go where they beat me. Please. I’m sorry!! I’m sorry, I’ll be better.”

Anna held Keith against her and rocked back and forth slowly trying to sooth the panic building in him before it became worse. She pressed soft kisses to his forehead, and gently wiped his tears trying anything to calm him. She let him continue to grip her shirt as she ran her hand up and down Keith’s back, “Shhh, hush Keith, it’s ok. No one is taking you away. It’s ok.”

At that moment Shiro walked in and stopped, confusion on his face at seeing Keith distressed and his mom doing her best to calm him. He looked at his dad as he registered the words Keith was saying, “Dad? Is someone taking Keith away?”

Josh reached a hand out to Shiro and he stumbled forward to sit on the floor between his mom and dad. “No one is taking Keith. Your mom and I were having a conversation about some paperwork and I think Keith may have overheard bits of it and got the wrong idea.”

Keith’s cries had turned to soft hiccups as he listened to Shiro talk to his dad and he let his fingers unclench. Josh reached over to ruffle Keith’s hair, “How about the four of us move from the floor so we can have a proper conversation at the kitchen table?”

Keith nodded and allowed Shiro to help him stand up then watched as he helped his mom from the floor as well. Once they were all seated around the table Anna moved her chair as close to Keith as possible and pulled him against her side. She took one of Shiro’s hands in her free hand as Josh sat down with a large envelope. Josh looked back and forth between Shiro and Keith, “Keith, Anna and I have been talking for quite a while about something very important and we wanted to make sure the time was right before we spoke to you about it. I think after listening to some of the things you’ve told us earlier, this is a discussion that we need to have right now.”

Keith watched as Josh looked to his wife and the pair shared a soft smile. Shiro was just as quiet as Keith, observing the interaction between his parents. Josh began speaking again, this time grabbing one of Keith’s hands and waiting until Keith was looking him in the eyes. “Keith, Anna and I have been speaking with the social workers for a very long time about your future. We know that you have had a hard time in your previous foster homes and we have both decided we don’t want that to happen to you ever again. But we both want to make sure you have a say in what happens.”

Keith felt Anna squeeze him gently “Sweetheart, we don’t want you to make any decision if you don’t feel it’s right. While this is something we both want, and something we know Shiro wants, it’s ultimately going to have to be something you want as well.”

Keith sniffed a few times, “I don’t know what you’re asking me.”

Anna shifted so that she faced Keith and gripped his small hands in hers, “Keith, we want to adopt you. We want you to be a part of this family. We want to make sure no one can take you away from us or send you someplace that you don’t want to go.”

Anna watched as several emotions flickered in Keith’s eyes, those beautiful dark blue eyes. He turned his head, pulling his lower lip between his teeth to stop it from trembling. She watched as he blinked furiously trying to keep the tears at bay. He pulled his hand from hers to wipe his face of the treacherous tears already falling. She felt his whole body trembling, watched as he processed her words trying to come to grips with the offer laid before him. It broke her heart to know this small child was fighting with every instinct to trust in something so fragile.

Keith looked first at Anna, trying to read the sincerity of her words. He looked deep into her eyes remembering the nights she came to his room holding him after a nightmare, whispering soft reassurances, humming quietly until he drifted back to sleep. He looked at Shiro next and saw him smiling. His eyes were glassy but shining bright with happiness. And finally, he looked to Josh. This man wasn’t his dad but he never raised a hand against him like some of the others had when he was first taken away from his home. He always asked if it was ok before he hugged Keith, never wanting him to feel uncomfortable around him. He let Keith help him when he worked on his car, explaining patiently about the tools he was using and why. He explained the parts and what they were for, why they were needed. He remembered Josh and Shiro letting him help build the treehouse last summer.

Keith let his eyes drop to the table. He closed them and took a deep shuddering breath. When he looked up it was with the steely determination Josh and Anna had come to know from the small boy before them. It was the determination of a boy who was so much braver than any seven-year-old had any right to be. He locked his eyes on Josh again, “Do you mean it? You’re not making this up just to make me feel better right? Please don’t mess with me about this. I don’t…. I can’t…”

Keith’s voice broke before he could finish his sentence. This time it was Josh who moved from his seat. He came around the table and pulled Keith from his chair and into his arms. Keith’s legs dangled in the air as Josh held him tightly, “we would never joke about something so serious Keith. We’ve been talking for a long time about adopting you. Anna and I mean it when we say we want you to stay with us forever, but only if it’s what you want.”

Keith’s body trembled as he processed those words, then he felt Anna run her slim fingers through his hair, “We know we will never replace who your real mom and dad were, but we would love to have you as our son. We don’t expect you to be anyone other than Keith Kogane, and we love you for who you are.”

Keith pulled back to look at both Josh and Anna, dark lashes wet with so many tears. His voice was barely a whisper so afraid to ask the question he so desperately wanted the answer to, “You want to be my mom and dad?”

“We have for a long time.” Anna’s voice was thick with her own unshed tears as she carded her hand through the soft mop of hair on Keith’s head. His head tilted just a bit to the side as Josh chuckled, “It’s all true buddy.”

And for the first time since he had been put into foster care, a small boy who refused to initiate any sort of touch, a boy who had been bruised and beaten, starved, abused, and touch starved for close to two years wrapped his small arms around Josh and Anna. His whole body trembled, his breath shuddered, and he was so scared of finally letting go of all he had built to protect himself. And when those arms reached around the two people who promised him a safe place, a home, and a family the tears broke through so violently. He sobbed, loud harsh sobs that wracked his whole body, sobs that cleansed the hurt inside of him, sobs that allowed him to feel the love that had been waiting for him for so long. And through it all, Josh and Anna held him. They whispered words of comfort, of promises to always love him no matter what. He wanted to tell them he loved them too, that he wanted them to adopt him, but the words wouldn’t, couldn’t come. All he could do was hold on as his body continued to release everything he held inside for so long in the form of those harsh cries.

Several minutes or maybe it was hours later, Keith found himself waking up on the sofa next to Shiro. Both boys were lying side by side with Keith pressed up against the cushions so he wouldn’t fall off the small sofa in his sleep. Shiro paused whatever game he was playing to softly pat Keith’s back, “you feeling better?”

Keith shrugged. Honestly his eyes burned and felt crusted over. His head hurt from crying so hard and so long. He shifted closer to Shiro, “is it ok for…. I mean do you want…”

Keith struggled to form the words, frustrated that his voice was starting to break again even after he thought there were no more tears left in him.

Shiro sat up and pulled Keith with him, “Are you kidding me? I’ve been telling everyone at school for months about my cool baby brother.”

Keith snorted, “I’m not a baby.”

“Get used to it. That’s just how it is if you’re the youngest. You know, baby brother, baby sister, or even baby hippopotamus.”

Keith jabbed an elbow into Shiro’s side, “Hey! Don’t make fun of hippopotamus.”

Shiro lifted his hands in surrender, “I’m not I promise! I’m just telling you how it is baby brother!”

Keith tried hard to glare at Shiro but it was halfhearted at best, “I told you I’m not a baby.”

The pair sat silently for a few more minutes, Shiro focusing his attention back on his game and Keith staring off at nothing. The sounds and smells of dinner drifted from the kitchen and Keith ducked his head looking at Shiro from beneath the fringe falling over his eyes, “So you’re ok with having a brother?”

At the uncertain whispered question Shiro put his game down and turned to fully face Keith. “I am more than ok with having a brother. And in case you’re wondering, I am even more than ok that you are going to be my brother.”

Keith shrugged and looked away again but turned back when he felt Shiro’s hand on his shoulder, “Hey, I mean it Keith. I’ve been bugging mom and dad about adopting you from the minute you came to live with us. I mean not everyone gets to pick who their brothers or sisters are gonna be, but I did. And I got to pick the coolest, most bad ass little brother ever.”

Josh’s deep voice came from the kitchen, “Language Shiro!”

Keith giggled as Shiro blushed at having been caught cursing. At that moment, the sofa dipped on the other side of Keith and he looked up to see Anna sitting next to him, “Shiro is right you know. Not everyone gets to pick their family. But Josh and I were so lucky that we got to pick both of you. You know we adopted Shiro as a baby and we’ve always wanted more children. We were so excited that the chance to adopt you came about and we had the opportunity to choose you to be in our family. We all got to know you. We came to know who Keith is, what he suffered, how unfair his life was. But we also want the opportunity to know who Keith is going to be, who he is going to grow up to be. I especially see you, sitting here in front of me with so much love. I see someone who is and always will be a very strong person. Unafraid of facing whatever it is that life throws at him. A young boy that is going to grow up to be a very brave man. And I am so lucky to be able to pick you to be my son.”

Keith let the tears fall and leaned into Anna’s hands as she gently wiped each cheek. She held his face close to hers and whispered conspiratorially, “Don’t tell Shiro, but I just might like you a little bit more.”

Keith giggled at Shiro’s indignant snort, “Hey I heard that!”

Keith pushed his forehead against Anna’s his voice hoarse from crying so hard and then falling asleep, “I’m glad you picked me too.”

Five months later on a bright Saturday in the middle of summer, Keith and Shiro were walking back from a nearby park when Josh and Anna asked them to come to the backyard. Keith looked around confused; there were party streamers and balloons, Josh had taken the time to grill hamburgers, Anna had a cake placed on a small table next to a picture frame that contained some sort of paper with fancy writing, and above the table was a banner with the words “Welcome to the Family!”

Josh and Anna were smiling and Shiro was bouncing in place waiting for Keith to catch on. Keith stared at everyone, “What’s going on?”

Anna held out her hand and waited for Keith to take it, “Today is your special day.”

Keith scrunched his eyebrows, “But it’s not my birthday.”

Shiro grabbed Keith from Anna, “No! It’s even better! Come see the stuff on the table!”

Keith let himself be pulled along by Shiro and stopped at the table to look at everything. Keith picked up the picture frame and tried to read the swirly print. He picked out a few words as his eyes scanned it; On this day the 16th of June Keith Kogane…..Anna and Josh Brookstone…. Formally adopted. Keith felt his eyes prickle with tears and he looked again at the banner “Welcome to the Family!” He glanced at the cake that Anna made and the red icing letters, “After 684 days you are officially adopted!” Keith gripped the adoption certificate to his chest oblivious to the tears that were streaming down his face and stared at Josh and Anna, “It’s real? This is really real?”

Josh knelt down in front of Keith and ruffled his hair, “It’s all real. The paperwork is all done. You are now our son.”

Keith let out a sob and fell into Josh’s arms, “I have a family.” Keith let out a wet giggle as he heard Shiro from somewhere in the distance, “Hey I want a hug too!”

And with that Shiro was tugging Keith out of Josh’s arms and lifting him into the air and swinging him around. After a few minutes he pushed away from Shiro and ran to Anna. She fell to her knees as Keith tackled her in a hug and the pair of them sat in the grass as the tears fell. Keith held onto Anna, his face buried in her neck as he kept repeating the same four words over and over, “I have a family, I have a family, I have a family.”

Anna shifted and pulled Keith completely into her lap, kissing his forehead and whispering words just for him, “We’re your family now, and we’re never letting you go. You’re ours for keeps.”

Keith just nodded, “I’m yours.”

Anna pulled back just a bit and held Keith’s face gently in her hands, “Are you happy?”

And for the first time in a very long time Keith smiled. It was a true smile that shone brighter than the sun. It made his eyes sparkle brighter than the stars at night. “I’m happy Anna! So happy!”

They sat for several more minutes before Keith spoke, “I wanted, I mean is it ok if…?”

Anna pushed away just a bit to look in Keith’s eyes, so full of desperate hope. She thought she knew what he wanted to ask, but knew he needed to do this himself so she waited patiently for him to sort out his words. And when they came her heart soared at the courage he had to ask and she was so proud of this small boy who had overcome so much to begin to trust and love again. Keith gulped hard and took a deep breath gripping Anna’s hands with everything he had in him. His voice shook but he never lost eye contact with Anna, “Would it be okay if I called you mom?”

A soft kiss was pressed to Keith’s nose, “I would be so honored for you to call me mom.”

Keith launched forward and fell into Anna’s, no, into his mom’s arms and hugged her. He heard Shiro behind him whisper an excited “yes!’

Keith pulled away and looked towards the house where Josh was walking with the hamburgers, “I want to talk to Josh.”

Anna gave him a knowing smile as he walked bravely to the house. She followed behind to listen to the conversation pulling Shiro next to her.

Josh looked up as Keith walked in, “hey buddy.”

Keith took some silverware and began laying them out on the table, “I talked to Anna just now but I wanted to ask you something.”

Josh ruffled Keith’s hair as he moved around bringing a hot dish to the table, “ask away.”

Josh stopped as he noticed Keith beginning to fidget no longer placing the silverware out. He stooped down in front of Keith and placed a hand on his shoulder, “It’s okay buddy. You know you can ask me anything ok?”

Keith nodded and gathered his resolve. “I already asked Anna and she said it was ok, but I wanted to ask you too. And if you don’t it’s ok because I’m not really yours but I just, I just.”

Josh squeezed Keith’s shoulder to get his attention, “slow down Keith, just breathe for a minute ok?”

Keith nodded, “ok, I’m ok.”

Josh waited, seeing Anna and Shiro from the corner of his eye he knew whatever it was Keith wanted to ask was important. And just like with Anna he took a deep breath and locked eyes with Josh. “I wanted to know if it was ok if I called you dad?”

The question was asked so softly Josh wasn’t sure he heard. However, the look on Keith’s face was enough. He dropped to his knees and leaned back on his heels and smiled. He wasn’t prepared for the tackling hug and landed on his backside when he told Keith, “Of course you can call me dad. And that paper out there says you are most definitely ours now ok?”

Keith could only nod into Josh’s shoulder. After dinner he sat next to Anna as they sat down as a family to watch a movie. He spent the majority of the time tentatively holding onto the sleeve of her blouse and eventually finding the courage to curl up against her side. And later that night as she tucked him in on the verge of sleep he whispered softly, “Goodnight mom.”

After that night things got progressively better for Keith. He still had a few behavioral issues which were to be expected with the abuse he suffered, but he was making progress. There were days when his emotions became too much, or his trust waivered and he lashed out. There were days when his anxiety became too much, afraid that Anna and Josh were going to send him away for any little mistake. He once hid under his bed for a whole day because he and Shiro had been playing a little too rough and broke a lamp. He had an anxiety attack the very next time Anna used a lemon scented cleanser that was so bad he stopped talking for a week, and pulled his hair so much he had bald spots for weeks. Anna threw away anything lemon scented and never bought or used anything lemon scented or flavored after that episode. And there were still days when Keith would jump away when a hand was raised too swiftly in his presence. On those days he would sometimes forget where he was and lose himself in memories of beatings and bruises, begging for the pain to stop, pushing himself into corners, covering his head with his arms and crying out his apologies.

When the bad days happened, Josh or Anna would be there to gently remove Keith’s hands from pulling out his hair, or to hold his hands to stop him from creating long scratches on his arms or face. Other times they would sit on the floor, Keith in their lap, his back to their chest. They would hold his arms and legs in front to stop him from punching and kicking, mimicking deep breaths to pull him out of a panic attack.

Eventually the bad days became less and less, and Keith began to thrive in the loving environment. His teachers sent notes home praising his improvement in school, he began to initiate more hugs with Josh and Anna, and he and Shiro were inseparable and partners in crime as brothers.


	2. Brother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who is reading this. I appreciate all the love. Chapter 2 isn't as long but hopefully everyone finds it just as good as Chapter 1. I don't think there are any triggering moments except for a bit of sadness, but if you feel that I've missed something please let me know!!

_Brother let me be your fortress_

_When the night winds are driving on_

_Be the one to light the way_

_Bring you home_

_Brother: By Need to Breathe and Gavin DeGraw_

Keith remembered the day Shiro first got his truck. He was only eight years old, but he remembered sitting in the cab of that truck. The truck was considered old when Shiro bought it, but to the brothers it was new, and it was amazing.  Keith sat there in the cab of that truck, windows down blowing his shaggy hair in his face but he was with Shiro and he didn’t have a care in the world.  They spent hours in that truck exploring dirt roads, listening to music a little too loud, and the windows almost always down. There were trips into town just for milkshakes or movies, Friday nights at the local high school watching football games, and nights in the bed of the truck dreaming of going to space and gazing at the endless stars in the sky. It was during some of those times when the two brothers talked about everything. Keith talked about how he was treated at some of his foster homes, he talked about how he never knew his mom, how his dad just disappeared and he never knew why, he talked about the fact that he still had nightmares that someone was going to take him away from his adoptive parents.  It was also during these talks that Keith learned how Shiro was adopted. Josh and Anna had adopted Shiro when he was only a few years old so he doesn’t remember his real parents. Josh and Anna had told him how his mother had given him up because she had gotten pregnant in a horrible situation at a very young age and wanted to give her unborn child a chance to have a better life than she could give him.  He told Keith how it hurt but he could understand why she gave him up.  Those talks brought the two boys closer than ever.

Keith also remembers the first time Shiro left home to go to college in that same truck. He didn’t speak to Shiro for weeks as he packed his things preparing to leave.  At 10 years old, Keith didn’t understand why his brother had to leave and he made sure the world knew how angry he was.  He avoided Shiro at every turn, refused to talk to his brother, spat and kicked and even bit him if he tried to get to close. He even lashed out at his parents for letting Shiro leave. The morning before Shiro left, he begged Keith to talk to him. To Shiro’s credit, he tried for over two hours before he had no choice but to leave and make the 7 and ½ hour drive to college and his new home for the next 4 years. Keith had been determined to stay mad at Shiro forever, but the minute he heard that old truck rumble to life his resolve finally cracked.  He ran out the door only to see a cloud of dust threatening to hide that truck and his brother from his view.  He ran as hard and fast as his small legs would allow, screaming for his brother. When Shiro saw his little brother almost invisible in a cloud of dust from the dirt covered driveway in the rearview mirror he didn’t hesitate to throw the truck into park and run back. 

Keith grabbed onto Shiro as sobs wracked his small body, “Please, Shiro. Please don’t leave.”

Shiro sat on the hard ground pulling Keith into his lap. He grabbed that small face with both of his hands and wiped a tear away from his dust covered cheeks, “I wish I could stay buddy.”

“Then stay! Don’t go. You don’t have to go.”

Shiro placed a kiss on Keith’s forehead blinking hard to keep his own tears from falling, “I don’t want to leave you, but I have to go.  It’s only for a little while buddy. I’m gonna come back for Thanksgiving, and Christmas.”

Keith allowed Shiro to pull him against his chest and clutched his shirt, “but that’s so far away.”

Shiro wrapped his arms tighter around Keith, “it will go faster than you think. I promise.”

The pair sat on that hard ground just a few feet away from that old truck still rumbling in the driveway. Keith’s crying slowed to a few small hiccups and Shiro pulled back wiping away the tears he could no longer hold back. He ran his hand across Keith’s forehead pushing back his shaggy hair from his eyes, “I’m gonna miss you a lot you know that right baby brother?”

Keith pulled in his bottom lip with a big sniff. Shiro only called him baby brother when he knew Keith was having a really bad day. He dragged the back of his arm across his face smearing snot and dirt. His voice wavered and barely a whisper, “I’m gonna miss you too.”

Later that night, Shiro called to let his parents know he had made it, and of course to talk to Keith.  And when it was time for bed, Keith crept down the hall to Shiro’s room and changed into one of Shiro’s old t-shirts and crawled into the twin bed that still smelled like his brother. 

 

~~~~~~~~

Keith remembers the day Shiro showed up unexpectedly at his school to pick him up in his same truck.  He was almost 13 and Shiro was in his third year at college and not due home for at least a month for Thanksgiving break.  Keith was in his History class when the secretary came over the PA to ask the teacher to send Keith to the office with his books. Keith gathered his things with confusion. It was his last class for the day on a Tuesday and tried hard to remember if his mom or dad was supposed to pick him up early for some reason. 

As Keith opened the door to the office he felt the eyes of everyone on him. He smiled when he saw Shiro waiting instead of one of his parents. But his smile faltered when Shiro pulled him into a hug and he felt his older brother trembling. 

“Shiro, what’s wrong? Why are you here?”

When Shiro didn’t answer right away Keith felt his stomach twist uncomfortably.  Something was most definitely wrong and the longer the silence stretched, the more Keith didn’t want to know.  Shiro pulled away but kept one hand on Keith’s shoulder, the other reaching up to push the dark fringe that always seemed to fall over Keith’s eyes.  Keith sucked in a deep breath when he saw the tears and the anguish on Shiro’s face.

“There was an accident this morning just near the old theater.”

Keith nodded, remembering the old theater where they spent many summer days watching movies not yet understanding the significance of Shiro’s train of thought.

“It was raining this morning too. And I guess mom and dad left just after you caught the bus heading into town.”  
Keith began to tremble. His stomach was churning and he was shaking his head back and forth not realizing what he was doing.

Shiro placed his hands on either side of Keith’s face, “there was some water on the street.  You know how that intersection at the red light always floods a bit when it rains? And there was a car that hit the water and couldn’t stop.”  
Keith reached up to grip Shiro’s wrists trying to pull his hands from his face as the tears began falling, “No… No… Shiro, no. Nothing happened.”

“Keith I need you to listen to me. Mom and dad were hit really hard. When I got the phone call they were already gone.  I told them not to call you that I needed to tell you.  I didn’t want you by yourself when you found out.”

By now Keith was frantic.  His breath was coming in short gasps and he pulled harder at Shiro’s wrists.  This was a bad dream. This wasn’t real.

Shiro pulled Keith against him even as he fought to get away, “Keith, there was nothing they could do.  It was already too late when the ambulance got there.”

Keith felt his stomach rebel and his body heaved forward. Shiro let go to grab something to catch whatever Keith’s body was about to expel but before he could react Keith was out the door and running, his school bag forgotten.

Shiro ran after him hoping to catch his brother before he did something stupid, “Keith!”

He caught a glimpse of a slender body and dark hair barreling through the schools only entrance and exit and into the pouring rain. He ran after Keith only catching up to him as he fell to his hands and knees and became violently sick. By the time he reached Keith they were both soaked from the rain.  He knelt next to Keith, one hand rubbing gentle circles on his back, and waited for his stomach to stop rejecting whatever food was there.  Once he was sure Keith was no longer going to continue being sick he pulled his little brother against his chest.  He felt Keith’s body trembling and heard heart wrenching sobs that broke his own heart. 

Keith barely registered his surroundings, not wanting to give into the reality of the situation. He caught bits and pieces of Shiro murmuring in his ear, “I’m here baby brother. I’m here.  It’s ok.”  
But Keith knew it would never be ok again so he did the only thing he could do and held onto Shiro desperately. 

Shiro stood up after several minutes and pulled Keith up with him.  He let Keith wrap his arms around his neck and his legs around his waist and held him as if he were a toddler. He felt Keith bury his face into his neck as he continued to cry.  Shiro saw an office worker holding an umbrella and walking to him with Keith’s books. She walked with Shiro to his truck holding the umbrella over them as well and waited until he situated Keith into the vehicle.  He quietly thanked her and got in the driver’s seat pulling Keith against his side to hold him close on the emotional ride home. 

Keith registered sitting in his brother’s truck but this time the radio was turned down, music just barely audible.  The windshield wipers slapped back and forth at a frantic pace. The sky outside was dark and grey and thunder rumbled low and deep in the distance.  Keith looked without really seeing, feeling as if the dreary weather seemed to reflect the dullness inside his heart.  He didn’t even try to wipe away the tears as they fell, he didn’t acknowledge anything Shiro said to him, just kept his head on his shoulder listening to his brother’s voice trying to give any comfort possible.

Keith blinked slowly as he felt the truck come to a stop in front of their house.  The house where his parents would no longer be waiting for him after school, the house where his parents first told him they wanted to adopt him, the house where the first time in his life he had not just a dad but a mom and a brother as well.  His breath hitched as he stared at the driveway where his parent’s car should have been. He couldn’t bring himself to move from his seat inside Shiro’s truck. He shook his head as Shiro tried to get him out of the truck. He fought and pulled away; begging his brother, “please…please don’t make me go inside. Please Shiro, I don’t want….I…I can’t…I…pl-please don’t make me.”

Shiro closed the door and slip back in next to Keith wrapping his arms around him, “I know you don’t want to go inside, but we can’t stay out here.”

Keith trembled violently in his arms, “They aren’t here. They won’t be here anymore.”

Shiro sighed, “No, they won’t be here anymore.” He wiped his eyes and opened the door. This time Keith didn’t resist when his brother slid him across the seat and carried him inside, arms and legs wrapped around him.

Keith felt the solid arms holding him, the steady sound of Shiro’s shoes as he brought Keith upstairs to the bathroom. He felt Shiro set him down on the edge of the tub but he let out a strangled sound as his brother walked out the door. Shiro turned back to kneel in front of him pressing a hand to his cheek, “I’m just going to get some dry clothes for you ok?”

Keith gripped Shiro’s wrist, eyes darting back and forth silently begging for something he couldn’t put into words.  He felt Shiro grab both of his hands, “I’m coming back ok buddy? I’m just going across the hall.  You want me to leave the door open for you?”

Keith nodded, still unsure of letting his brother go. He closed his eyes fighting off the emptiness in his chest even as he felt Shiro press a soft kiss on his forehead. Before the panic could set in Shiro was back with a bundle of clothes and a large towel.  He didn’t protest as he felt his wet clothes being removed. He gave no reaction to the towel drying him off or passing over his wet hair. He barely registered Shiro manipulating his body to pull on sweat pants, a soft t-shirt and a dry pair of socks.  Keith watched with a detached interest as Shiro scooped up his wet clothes and walked out of the bathroom. This time there was no panic as his brother left, his body starting to retreat into a numb sort of awareness.  He wasn’t aware how many minutes had passed when Shiro returned in dry clothes as well.  And once more his brother picked him up as if he weighed little to nothing and carried him downstairs.  Keith couldn’t even find the strength to care or argue that he was too big to be carried like a baby. All he wanted was the solid warmth of the only person he had left in his life. This time when Shiro tried to set him down he fought against it wrapping his arms tighter around his brother’s neck murmuring broken protests unaware of what he was really saying, “no, please.  No Shiro don’t leave me too.”

Shiro adjusted Keith in his arms, “ok baby brother, I got you.”

Somewhere over the next couple of hours Shiro had managed to settle on the sofa, Keith in a bundle of blankets on Shiro’s lap, head resting on his chest listening to the steady heartbeat. Keith was barely aware of Shiro making several phone calls, shuffling through an assortment of odd papers, and the occasional return phone call for something or another.  But through it all, Keith just wanted to wake up from a nightmare that would never end.

Keith didn’t remember much about the days that passed.  Everything seemed distorted and hazy as if it wasn’t quite real, but the hollow empty feeling in his gut and the burning that never left his eyes reminded him of just how real it was.  He didn’t know if he ate, he didn’t remember bathing, he didn’t go to school, and through it all the only thing he did know was that he never let Shiro leave his sight if he could help it.  The nights were the worst.  The darkness of the house was too much for Keith at times.  The soft sounds of the TV that his parents used to watch after Keith went to bed no longer played. The creak of soft footstepsno longer lingered outside his bedroom as his parents were no longer there to check on him. There were no more goodnight kisses from his mom.  And oh how he wished he never insisted that he was too old for those moments just a few months ago.  Instead he found himself waking up at all hours of the night, ragged breath, his hair plastered to his sweaty forehead shuffling to the room next to his.  And every night without fail, Shiro would lift his blankets enough for Keith to slide in and hold him as he cried, so scared of falling asleep and waking up to his nightmares all over again.  On those nights Shiro would hold Keith close, crying himself to sleep as well. Never telling his little brother he was just as scared as if he was thirteen years old himself.

The one thing Keith did remember was the funeral. He sat in Shiro’s truck thinking how the day was far from opposite of what it should be.  The day his parents died was filled with rain and thunder, the skies were dulled and gray.  Today was filled with bright blue skies, lots of sun, trees filled with the colors of fall, and the coolness of an approaching winter.  It was the exact opposite of everything Keith was feeling today. And it was also his birthday.  Keith also remembered standing by Shiro as person after person told them how sorry they were, how much they were praying for them, and how they could call if they ever needed anything.  He remembered thinking how hollow and empty those words seemed.  Words people said just to make themselves feel better, but never making the intended recipient feel any better. 

Keith sat, stoic in his fold-out chair in the front row facing the coffins. He was vaguely aware of the emptiness as people slowly left; he felt more than saw Shiro hovering nearby, his ‘friend’ Adam next to him. He caught bits and pieces of a conversation he was sure was about him, but he was also sure they were trying to keep him from hearing.

“You know I can’t leave him Adam. I’m all he has left.” That was Shiro’s hushed voice.

“I’m not asking you to leave him Takashi, but what about us? You shouldn’t have to become a parent at 20.” Keith could hear the irritation in Adam’s voice. He could understand on some level, no one wants their boyfriend’s younger brother hanging around. He meant well, but he was just like all the other foster families, wanting the best for Keith but wanting someone else to do the work.

“Adam, I care about you a lot. But from now on Keith has to be my number one priority. If you can’t understand that then maybe we need to take a break.”

Keith could feel the anger rising inside of him but he tamped it down. He knew Shiro loved him but he couldn’t help but wonder if he would let Adam persuade him that Keith wasn’t worth it.

Long after the last person left including Adam, Keith continued to stand next to where the coffins had been lowered into the ground.  He watched as the chairs and flowers were removed, he watched as the holes were filled in with dirt, and he watched as the sky turned dark and the only thing left was two mounds of dirt and his brother standing next to him, patient as ever as stars began to dot the night sky.  And it was in that moment that something changed for Keith. The tears came but this time with a blazing anger.  He was angry that his parents left him, he was angry at the person who hit their car causing the accident, he was angry that his brother had to quit college and transfer closer to take care of Keith. He was angry that Adam wanted Shiro to focus more on them, he was mad at everyone and everything.  And as his anger boiled over he did the only thing he could think of and that was to reach down and grab handfuls of the fresh dirt over his parents’ grave and throw it as hard as he could.  He reached for one of the flower arrangements that had been left and threw that as well.  He screamed and raged and fell to his knees pounding the ground, face covered in tears, dirt and snot. His fingernails became bloody as he ripped at grass and cold hard dirt and when he felt arms wrap around him all he could think was to hit and punch until the world hurt just as much as he did.  He hoped whoever had him would hit back so he could justify hitting them more and more. He clawed and scratched, punched and kicked, pulled hair, begged to be let go, but the arms just held him.  Finally, Keith’s anger began to fade into a bone-weary exhaustion and he heard a soft voice, and those arms continuing to hold him. 

Keith sagged against the solid wall that was his brother and let his voice wash over him. “It’s ok, I’m here.  I’m here. Shhhh baby brother, I’ve got you.”

Keith’s punches turned to tight grips as the anger turned to sobs of regret, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry Shiro.”

Shiro shifted and pulled Keith into his lap, the two of them both sitting on the cold hard ground, “hey, it’s ok. I know it hurts, and that’s ok. I’m not mad at you.”

Keith sniffled and buried his head against Shiro, placing a hand over his own heart, “It does.  It hurts so bad.”

Shiro rocked back and forth rubbing soft circles against Keith’s back, “I know baby brother.  It hurts me too, it hurts really bad.”

Keith hated his birthday ever since then.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The years that followed were not nice to the brothers. Shiro had no clue how to care for his younger brother. Keith regressed back to shying away from any sort of touch, he clawed at his skin when he became nervous, he began pulling out his hair, he rarely spoke anymore, and his nightmares came back with a vengeance.  He fought tooth and nail with Shiro, screaming, punching, kicking, throwing things, and breaking anything he could get his hands on. Those nights left Shiro bewildered and exhausted as Keith cried and screamed, needing the comfort but too afraid to accept it, hiding under his bed as if he was seven years old again. Because he was unable to handle his emotions, Keith rebelled and became an angry teenager. When Keith got in trouble Shiro tried to talk to him about what happened but not wanting to anger the teen anymore he mostly let him off with a stern look as long as Keith promised to do better. He stopped trying at school, stayed in detention, fought with kids twice his size and missed so many days from being suspended or just not showing up; he was in danger of failing his classes.  But because the school knew the situation between the brothers, they let Keith slide enough to pass and because they knew Shiro was doing all he could to take care of Keith the school tended to overlook some of Keith’s lesser infractions. 

During all of this Shiro fought to keep Keith from going back into the foster system.  He knew his brother had too many bad experiences at a young age and refused to abandon him to that fate again.  This meant Shiro had to transfer to a local college and reduce his course load so that he could get a job to take care of Keith. He also had the daunting task of selling his parents’ house, because as a young college student he couldn’t afford the upkeep and cost of keeping the house.  The fight that followed was the worst fight the brothers would ever have. Keith ran away and it took the better part of two months before Shiro found him late one night sleeping in an abandoned house with busted windows, much skinnier from lack of proper nutrition and with a severe case of pneumonia. Shiro never could get Keith to tell him everything that happened during those months. Whatever had happened left Keith even more jaded and haunted then before he ran away. Even then, Keith held a bitter resentment towards Shiro for selling the house, even when he knew rationally there was no other option.

Shiro graduated college the December before Keith graduated high school.  Keith wasn’t interested in college or walking in his high school graduation. He avoided every chance of conversation that Shiro attempted when it came to Keith going to college.  He managed to get a part time job helping a local mechanic repair cars.  It was the memories of fixing cars with his dad that led him to working at the small shop.  He learned quick and his knowledge helped fix Shiro’s old truck when they couldn’t afford for him to get anything newer.  Because Keith was so good at his job he quickly went from part time to full time. It was working at the shop that Keith realized he had a passion for motorcycles and he began saving money for parts here and there and eventually built his own motorcycle.  Red, as he called his motorcycle, was a thing of beauty. When Keith sat idled at a stop light, her engine purred deep and loud. When he zipped through back roads, she was fast, dangerously fast. And when she was parked, her dark red paint shined brilliantly, no scratch to be seen.  And for all the passion that Keith had for his motorcycle, Shiro hated it.  He hated the danger, how exposed Keith was even with a helmet, he hated the speed at which Keith drove, and he hated the terror that gripped his heart every time he watched his brother drive off on it.  Keith was reckless and drove fast.  He didn’t care about speed limits or stop signs; he took turns leaning dangerously close to the road, and rolled his eyes at Shiro’s worried nagging every time he got on his bike.

Keith was 20 and Shiro was 28 the first time he actually got his brother to ride on his motorcycle with him. It was the first and only time.  Shiro had enlisted in the army after college once Keith moved out on his own; they sold their parents’ house, the money put aside for Keith’s education.  But Keith had decided that college wasn’t for him and while he still worked as a mechanic, he found other odd jobs that he enjoyed just as much when his primary work was slow.  Those jobs included bartending once or twice a week, cutting grass for a 78 year old lady who continuously tried setting Keith up with her granddaughter, and photography for a few local magazines.  And sometimes, if the bar needed, Keith would sing and play his guitar for open mic nights when someone failed to show up. 

Shiro was just back from Afghanistan when Keith begged Shiro to ride with him.  He had found a new lookout on his last photography assignment that he thought Shiro would enjoy and it was only a couple hours away. The weather was cool and there was no rain in the forecast, and in Keith’s mind the perfect motorcycle weather. Shiro reluctantly agreed and the two made their way to the lookout late in the evening.  The two sat and talked about everything just like they used to do all those years ago looking out at the stars, no city lights or tall buildings, just black open sky and millions of stars as far as the eye could see. For a moment, Keith could almost believe he was 8 years old again and when he got home his parents would be waiting for him and Shiro so they could eat supper as a family.  But that moment never lasted long and sometimes the pain lingered longer than he would have liked and his heart hurt just a little more when he remembered, and sometimes he had to fight off the tears just as if he was that 13-year-old boy all over again.  Finally, several hours later, Shiro convinced Keith it was time to head back.  Keith never saw the car, but Shiro saw just enough to twist his body around Keith before the car hit them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [follow me on tumblr if you want!](http://jenni1229.tumblr.com/)


	3. Fix You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few warnings for anyone reading this chapter. There is mention of blood and vomiting if those kinds of things bother you. I try not to be too graphic in the details because they kind of ick me out as well.
> 
> There are some medical things going on in this chapter but I'm not a doctor and I don't really know a whole lot of medical jargon so please don't roast me if something isn't quite right. I just made some things to fit the story how I see it.
> 
> My favorite part of this chapter is the introduction of some original characters. These characters are quite young but they will tie a very important part of this story together and I love them so much. I hope everyone comes to love them as much as I do. I never knew creating characters could hold such a big part of your heart but these really do.
> 
> And we finally get some Lance in the story! He's a bit toward the end but from now on he will be a prominent figure. Also you get my take on his family. The names are the same as canon but I took several liberties on ages, children, additional siblings etc...

_Tears stream down your face_

_When you lose something you cannot replace_

_Tears stream down your face_

_And I will try to fix you_

_Fix You: By Coldplay_

 

It’s as if Keith is sitting on a rooftop and looking at the chaos below, all he sees is bits of metal and glass on a dark pavement. There’s cars stopped in both directions and a few people on cell phones trying to call 911, or maybe their families to tell them they’ll be home late. Keith thinks it must be nice to have a family to go home to; he’s had that once but not anymore. It’s starting to rain, he sees the drops reflected in the headlights and how everything is starting to become wet. His eyes dart to the center of everyone’s attention; there’s a cop detaining someone, hands cuffed behind his back and unsteady on his feet, there’s a firetruck and ambulance and several more cop cars, there’s a large out of place shape on the pavement and several EMT workers bustling around. It’s then that Keith’s hearing comes into focus, but even then with all the chaos he only catches bits and pieces of what’s being said.

“Please be ok, please….”

“Sir, we need…..your arm…”

“I can’t lose…..like them…”

“Sir, you have…..let him….”

“I can’t…..make me leave…”

“I’m sorry….there’s nothing…..you have to let us help you….”

“No….he’s ok…..please be….”

“If you don’t……lose both of….”

Keith recognizes that voice, the begging and pleading. He leans forward for a closer look and he can feel warmth along his side as if someone his pressing him against a warm body. He smells dirt and blood and hot pavement cooling underneath the rain and the night air. He feels the rain on his face and he reaches a hand up to wipe away the drops on his face but his hand comes back red. He stares at his hand just as he hears that voice…Shiro….and it’s broken as he begs and pleads. Keith feels his knees start to buckle as he realizes that Shiro is begging for him to be ok, to not die. When those words register he feels as if he’s underwater and struggling for air and he’s suddenly breaking through the surface. He opens his eyes and inhales sharply and that’s when everything comes crashing into him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pain. Red and blue lights.  A loud wailing siren.  Voices.  Something warm and thick trickling down his face.  He was being moved and god it hurt.  He was shivering uncontrollably but he felt something warm and solid pressed up against him. He thought he heard the words ‘baby brother’ as an arm wrapped around his shoulders.  More voices. Sirens.  It was too loud, his ears hurt, make it stop. Were they talking to him? He tried to speak, he tried to open his eyes, but nothing worked. His limbs felt heavy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lights. Bright fluorescent lights flashing by. He was laying on something, he was being moved.  People he didn’t know.  Masks, more lights, someone holding his eyelid open.  More voices.  His name. Someone said his name. They were definitely asking him questions.  He tried.  He tried so hard to answer but he couldn’t.  It was too much, hurt too much, too much light.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

His arm was being moved and god it hurt. Someone was screaming, loudly. Make it stop.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He was in and out of consciousness. Sometimes there were voices, other times it sounded as if a TV was playing in the background. There was a constant irritating beep.  Different faces faded in and out of his vision. Occasionally they tried to talk to him.  At least he wasn’t moving anymore.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sterile white walls. Lights that were too bright. So many voices. Too many different voices. Someone was moving him.  The pain was excruciating. Tears leaked from the corner of his eyes. Blessed black nothingness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Keith opened his eyes with a groan. His whole body ached. What the hell happened?  He focused on his surroundings, a small room with sterile white walls, something beeping off to his right. He looked down and saw his left arm in a cast from fingertips to elbow.  His left leg was braced from ankle to upper thigh.  His head felt as if it was bandaged but he couldn’t tell. Everything hurt.

Someone walked in just as Keith felt the pain escalate. He let out a whimper of pain and heard the person talking but the voice was muffled. He couldn’t concentrate on anything.  Then just as quickly he felt something in him relax and his eyes slowly drifted shut.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next time Keith woke up he was able to hold on to consciousness a little bit longer. Someone, the same person? Someone walked in and spoke to him.

“Keith, my name is Veronica. I’m your nurse for tonight. Can you tell me how you’re feeling?”

Keith licked his lips and tried to speak, but nothing came out except a rough grunt.

Veronica pressed a button that lifted Keith’s bed a little and held out a small cup with a straw, “take a small sip and we’ll see if that helps.”

The water felt cool sliding down Keith’s throat but just that small sip seemed to exhaust him. He felt the bed shifting into a more upright position and squeezed his eyes shut, “headache, bright.”

It was all he managed to get out but Veronica seemed to understand just the same. A few overhead lights were turned off and only the light from a nearby lamp was left on. She lifted his right arm gently using the IV to administer an injection as she spoke, “we’re trying to get you off of some of the heavier pain killers you’ve been on the past couple of days but I’m going to give you something that will help your headache.”

Keith barely nodded and managed a few more words, “what happened?”

The nurse gave him a piercing look, “what do you remember?”

Keith closed his eyes, his brow furrowed in concentration, “I don’t know. Just a bunch of weird flashes of lights and people, a lot of noise.  Nothing makes much sense.”

Veronica capped the needle and tossed it into the sharps container. As she continued to note Keith’s vitals she answered his question. “Well, to make a long story short you were in a pretty bad accident and you broke your left arm. Your left leg is broken in several places as well. You’ve got one hell of a concussion, a few broken ribs, and a broken clavicle. Your face is pretty scraped up on your left side as well. And you dislocated your left shoulder but since you’ve been here for about 3 days, that’s already healed.”

Keith scrunched his eyebrows processing the information he was just given. He didn’t remember getting hurt.  The last thing he remembered….  Keith groaned, his brain was fuzzy.  There was something he was forgetting, something important.  Why couldn’t he remember what happened?

Veronica patted his arm, “It’s perfectly normal not to remember anything after the amount of trauma your body went through. The best thing you can do is just let your body rest and not think too much. You’ll remember sooner or later and most patients tell me they wish they didn’t remember.”

Keith glared through his headache, his voice flat as he responded, “That sounds so reassuring.”

Veronica laughed. “I like you. You’ve got attitude.”

A few minutes later and Keith felt what little energy he had fading away. Veronica’s voice was soft but he heard her none the less “don’t fight it, just let your body rest.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Keith woke up with a start, head pounding, body still aching. But this time he was more focused, his brain not as muddled. He remembered.  That night, talking to Shiro, the accident. “Shiro!”

Keith’s shout brought a nurse to his room, not Veronica but someone else. He tried to sit up despite his injuries. Tried to move his left leg around, tried to pull the IV from his hand but a pair of hands gripped his shoulders and gently pushed him back against his pillow, “Keith, you need to stay in bed. Your injuries are far too severe for you to get up right now.”

“I need to see my brother. Where is he? Where’s Shiro?” Keith continued fighting his way out of the bed.

“Keith, look at me.” The hands holding his shoulders tightened their grip, When Keith looked up he was looking at a woman with bright blue eyes and the whitest hair he had ever seen. She had a stern look to her face and he knew she wasn’t someone to cross but he couldn’t help it. 

“Please, I need to see my brother.” He hated the way his voice cracked half way through his pleading. His body was shaking and he felt the tears falling down his cheeks.

The woman shifted her grip from Keith’s shoulders to gently maneuvering him back into his bed at a more comfortable position. This time when she spoke Keith noticed there was an underlying tenderness in her voice that wasn’t there before. “First things first, you need to settle down.  I don’t want to have to give you a sedative and force you into sleep when you’ve just awakened. Ok?”

Keith nodded, shoulders tense, body poised to run even though he knew he was unable to get far in his current condition.

The woman considered Keith for a moment then nodded, grabbing a chair and pulling it near Keith’s bed, “Good, now, I’m Dr. Allura. I’m both your doctor and Shiro’s doctor.”

Keith looked up, unable to help the pleading in his eyes. “Is he Ok? Is Shiro….please, I need to see him. You don’t understand.”

Dr. Allura grabbed Keith’s shoulders again. “Keith, breathe.  I can’t talk to you if you don’t stay calm.”

She waited several minutes while Keith regained his composure. “Keith I’m not going to lie to you. Shiro’s injuries are a lot more severe than yours. Right now, the two of you are in no condition to leave your rooms.”

“But he’s ok? He’s going to be ok, right?” Without thinking Keith reached out and grabbed the doctor’s arm.

Allura placed her hand over his, “Shiro will be fine. But like I said his injuries are a lot more severe.  He has not awakened yet.  He’s had several surgeries and his body has been through extreme trauma. Even more so than yours.”

Keith bit his bottom lip. He felt his composure slipping. It took everything he had to not break down, to let the fear he was feeling take over. “When _can_ I see him?”

Allura sighed, “I’m really not sure. You have been unable to stay awake for more than 20 to 30 minutes at a time, you’re sleeping 6 to 7 hours at a time while your body heals.  Shiro isn’t even awake. Even if he was awake we cannot risk moving you because even with the amount of healing, your body is still very fragile.  Any attempt to put you in a wheel chair may undo all that’s been done so far.”

Keith closed his eyes letting a few tears fall, “it’s my fault. He’s here because of me.  I was driving.”

Allura grabbed Keith’s hands, “Keith, no. Listen to me. It is _not_ your fault.  The person who did this to you and Shiro was drunk.  They ran a red light and hit your motorcycle.  The accident was nothing you did.  Do you understand me?”

Keith closed his eyes, trembling with doubt but wanting to believe the doctor so bad. More tears began to fall as exhaustion from being awake for so long began to catch up with his weakened body.

Allura adjusted her grip on Keith’s hands to help him lay back in his bed. “You need to rest.  I promise as soon as you’re able, I will let you see your brother ok?”

Keith nodded and allowed Allura to reposition his pillow. He watched as she placed gloves on her hands and pulled a syringe from her lab coat. “This is just some pain medicine. It’s not as strong as what you’ve been taking but it should help your body relax and may put you to sleep as well. Don’t fight it.”

Keith could only blink slowly as the medicine began to take effect.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three weeks and two days later and Keith was going stir crazy. The four walls of his room were plain, the TV played the same nonsense day after day and he had nothing to distract himself. He was so sick of everyone telling him he wasn’t well enough to get out of bed and his temper began to get the best of him. Two of his nurses in particular, a big burly guy named Kevin and a female with stringy blonde hair named Liz were the worst. They treated Keith with disdain and only came into his room for their rounds. If Keith asked for anything else they just ignored him. Because of the two douche-bags, Keith had decided his emotional display with Dr. Allura was enough and blamed the tears on stress and being overly medicated. He was once again angry and full of sharp, biting words.  He had thrown his TV remote at no less than 3 nurses, and he threw various trays of food at no less than 5 nurses, but mostly at Kevin and Liz. He threw his bedpan at Dr. Allura and that had earned him a good 4-hour nap via sedation.  His mood was not improved when he woke up. He could only hope his recent temper tantrum (get well flowers from several of his co-workers, candy, and cards thrown about, his pillow was tossed half-way out the door (and he severely regretted that move), and a couple of stuffed animals that had the stuffing ripped out littered his room) would get some results.  Once there was nothing left to throw, Keith began to press the call button repeatedly and waited with baited breath to see which devil spawn nurse would walk through that door.

The nurse that walked in gave him a grin, “Hey! You are looking much better than the last time I saw you.” There was a pause as the nurse glanced at one of the destroyed stuffed animals, “Uh, is everything ok?” Keith felt bad for glaring. He had a vague recollection of the nurse and remembered her being kind, but he was withholding judgment until he presented his terms. He thought her name was Vicky or maybe Vanessa?

“Maybe,” he managed with a half-hearted shrug.

“Well, the name’s Veronica, in case you didn’t remember.” And she shot him a pair of finger guns with a wink after tossing his pillow near his feet.

Keith tried not to laugh; he was still trying to be angry about being sedated like some crazed animal. He rubbed the back of his neck with a blush, “yea, I uh didn’t remember your name. Sorry.”

Veronica checked over his vitals and shrugged, “no worries. So, what can I do for you? Are you in pain? Hungry?”

Keith growled in frustration, “I’m _bored_! There’s nothing to do and I hate TV. I still can’t see my brother and no one is telling me why. AND Dr. Allura had the nerve to give me something to put me to sleep because of my attitude! I just….UGH!”  Keith landed dramatically against his bed with no pillow.

Veronica smirked, “So you’re the one who pissed off the good doc. You’re the first to do so in the ten years she’s been here. And you’ve got the other nurses scared of you by the way.”

Keith glared, “If it’s Kevin and Liz then I’m not even sorry.”

Veronica leaned against the foot of his bed with a grin, “so all the dramatics, scaring the nurses, throwing things, yelling, trying to pull out your IV…this is all because you’re bored?”

Keith stared at the blank TV and flipped the bird. Veronica laughed loudly, “Well I was gonna try and see if I could manage a jail break but now I’m not so sure.”

Keith turned his head and narrowed his eyes, “Can you?”

“Oh, I most definitely can. But what do I get out of all of this?”

Keith sat up and raised an eyebrow, “I won’t throw a bedpan at you.”

Veronica held up a finger, the sign for Keith to hold on for a second or maybe a minute. She came back with a wheel chair and mischief in her eyes. “Mr. Kogane, I Veronica McClain am the jail break extraordinaire.  I have planned, plotted, and executed more sneak outs for my younger siblings and myself in our years of giving Mama Hell. I have also managed to perfectly plan, plot and execute the perfect plan to sneak back in before Mama can catch us and beat our ass with a shoe.  You are looking at an expert. Not to mention you are my only patient for the duration of my 12-hour shift. Lucky you. However, at the first sign of any bedpan or other objects being thrown at me I will revoke all of my jail breaking abilities and leave you to suffer at the hands and syringes of the mighty Dr. Allura. And I will request that Kevin and Liz are the only two nurses to oversee your time here.”

Keith finally grinned “I, Keith Kogane, do swear to never throw a bedpan or any other object at Nurse Veronica McClain as long as she uses her jail breaking abilities to keep me sane.”

Veronica returned his grin, “well as long as you understand I can only jail break you out of this room, not out of the hospital. Unfortunately, I still need my job no matter how much that sort of challenge might tempt me.”

Keith nodded and adopted a tone of complete seriousness, “I only want an escape from boredom, I will not allow my bad decisions to corrupt you to the point of losing your job.”

Veronica laughed, loudly. “Keith, you are working yourself up to become my favorite patient ever, I don’t even understand why the other nurses think you have an attitude.”

Keith shrugged, “I mean I’m a very reasonable guy as long as I get my way.”

Two floors up and several winding hallways later Keith was pushed into a very large and very colorful room. Veronica gave him a sheepish look, “I’m sorry if this isn’t quite what you were hoping for, but I sort of have a soft spot for these kids.”

Keith noticed several kids lounging around. Some were at a table coloring or drawing, one or two were in a quiet corner reading, some were huddled together playing card games or board games. But what made Keith’s breath hitch was the fact that all of them were connected to some sort of pump and there was a look of hollowed eyes, dark circles that spoke of sleepless nights, an unhealthy thinness in the arms peeking from hospital gowns. He understood immediately why Veronica felt the way she did for these kids. He may have had a shitty life but these kids were fighting for theirs.  He felt his anger at his situation slipping away and looked up with a smile, “This is perfect.”

Veronica let out a breath of relief, “Thank goodness you don’t hate me.”

Keith chuckled and shook his head, “nah. Not today anyway.”

Veronica punched his good shoulder and wheeled him forward until a small girl darted out of nowhere to stop in front of them.

Keith watched as she boldly walked up to him without a thought. She had dark brown eyes the color of dark chocolate, her hair (or what was left of it from her various treatments) was a pale blonde, almost white but not the same stark white as Dr. Allura’s, and her fingers were adorned with several plastic rings.  Keith couldn’t help but think she was the cutest thing he’d ever seen.

“I’m Gracie and I’m 4 years old. Who are you?”

Keith let himself grin, he would not be that moody teenager in this room with these kids, “I’m Keith and I’m 20 years old. I am very pleased to meet you Gracie.”

This seemed to please the little girl and she grinned back. “I’m gonna be a princess for Halloween. What happened to your arm? Did you fall out of a tree? Did you hurt your leg when you fell out the tree?”

Keith noticed Veronica walking off to talk to some of the other kids, “Actually I got hurt riding my bike. Someone hit me and made me fall off pretty hard.”

Gracie scrunched her nose, “you must not be very good if you fell off your bike. My dad just took the training wheels off my bike before I got sick and I haven’t fallen off once!”

Keith shrugged, “well, it was actually a motorcycle that I fell off of.”

Apparently that satisfied her curiosity and she slipped behind Keith’s chair and wheeled him forward, “Wanna meet everyone? We were playing Candyland but I kept losing so now I’m gonna draw.”

Barely stopping to take a breath she continued on, “That’s Eva and Mark and Jackie playing cards, they stopped playing Candyland when I left. Drew and Amie are reading a book, and me and Jacie and Devon and Aiden are coloring. You wanna color with us?”

Keith watched as the small girl expertly maneuvered his wheel chair next to the table, his left leg parallel to the table but just out of the way to avoid accidental run ins, and he was close enough to comfortably use his right hand. How did a four year old know how to maneuver a wheel chair so well anyway?

Gracie tapped Keith’s arm to get his attention, “You don’t color with the other arm do you?”

Keith shook his head and picked up a red color, “nope this is perfect.”

Gracie let out a relieved breath and began her nonstop chatter with the other kids at the table. Keith was drawn in to the conversation about puppies and kittens, chocolate or vanilla ice cream, bananas, spiders, recess or lunch, and cooties. Keith answered all the questions presented to the serious panel of kids; he most definitely preferred kittens (puppies slobbered and they stink), chocolate chip cookie dough over chocolate or vanilla, he most definitely liked bananas, scared of spiders which earned him a few giggles from the girls, lunch because food obviously, and the boys passed high fives as Keith agreed that yes girls have cooties.  He decided to leave it at that because his sexual preference was something he would not discuss with a group of kids all under the age of 10.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Over the next couple of days, Keith found himself back on the 6th floor with the kids when Veronica was his nurse.  He learned she came here to visit the kids a lot when she felt like things were too much. She told him it gave her a different perspective when she was having a bad day.  Keith could totally relate. That first day he sat with those kids he gained a new perspective as well.  Even with all the sickness and the toll on their too small bodies, those kids managed to have such happy personalities. He was still moody and angry but he did manage to apologize to Dr. Allura. He did not apologize to the other nurses who still refused to let him out of his room regardless of what his doctor said.

Today however, was not one of Keith’s good days. Veronica was his nurse and the pair made their way to the children’s ward.  Keith had learned a lot about the kids as well, but he never asked any questions about their illnesses.  He figured they had enough of those questions from everyone else so he focused on the kids themselves. For instance, Gracie loved all animals, especially hippopotamus. She and Keith bonded over their mutual love for all things hippopotamus. Eva hated strawberries but loved broccoli. Jackie and Aiden read and discussed the Percy Jackson books but both disliked Harry Potter.  Keith had no opinion on Percy Jackson or Harry Potter.  Drew and Mark liked racing and on several occasions the two boys along with Keith managed to get in trouble for starting wheel chair races in the hall ways, mostly to annoy the dynamic douche-duo of Kevin and Liz. Amie, as quiet as she was, always led the quest to find wheel chairs for Drew and Mark.  Devon, Eva and Mark liked the color red. Jacie liked purple. Jackie and Gracie liked pink; the rest liked the color blue.  Keith’s favorite color was yellow, a soft buttery yellow the color of his mom’s favorite blanket that still smelled like her. The color red came in a close second for Keith. Jacie the quietest of them all, was excited to learn that like her, Keith liked to draw. The kids were excited to learn that Keith was great at drawing and roped him into drawing a series of pictures for a story they were making up about five lions that formed a huge robot with a sword and lived in a giant space castle.

This particular day though Keith was a bit subdued and even the kids couldn’t keep his attention. He still had yet to get any information on Shiro, and Dr. Allura was adamant that Shiro’s health would not allow any visitors yet. Gracie, the youngest but also the most observant seemed to pick up on his mood and managed to get everyone else to leave Keith to his thoughts. His eyes had been closed when he felt someone moving nearby. He opened one eye and saw Gracie trying her best to cover him with a blanket. She startled when she saw him watching her.

“I thought you were asleep.” Her voice was a soft whisper.

Keith shook his head, “just thinking.”

Gracie tilted her head thoughtfully, “are you sad?”

Keith let out a sigh, “I don’t know. I think maybe I am but then I think maybe I’m just really worried about my brother.”

Gracie patted Keith’s hand, “do you want me to leave you alone so you can think some more?”

Keith shifted in his wheel chair, “No. I think maybe some company might be good for me.”

Gracie smiled when Keith reached out and pulled her onto his lap, shifting her weight so she sat on his good leg and being mindful of the tubes connected to her pump and IV in her arm. He positioned the blanket around the two of them and rested his cheek against her head reveling in the soft comfort of a child. Several minutes later Veronica found the two of them fast asleep when she came to bring Keith back to his room.

Later that afternoon Dr. Allura finally came to his room to speak in detail about Shiro’s injuries. Keith sat and listened as she explained the injuries to his right side, his arm completely crushed from the impact. It seemed Shiro had some awareness of what was going to happen and had twisted his body just enough to shield Keith from the car that had been about to hit them.  The impact from the car caused Keith to land away from Shiro, and he had apparently been struck on his left side by another oncoming car. Keith blinked furiously as she also told him that there had been several complications in the multiple surgeries to repair Shiro’s arm and in the long run the best choice for his survival was to amputate.  Keith leaned forward on his bed breathing heavily. He felt his stomach knot up and his body heaved unexpectedly.  Allura was quick and managed to place a waste basket in front of Keith just as his stomach rebelled.  He felt weak and shaky, forehead damp with sweat but his anger once again got the best of him. When he was done being sick he pushed away the waste basket and Dr. Allura’s hand on his back.  He threw himself off his bed regardless that his injured leg would not support him.  He managed to stand somehow and pulled the IV from his right hand. He threw whatever he could get his hands on, pulled the TV from where it was mounted, he flipped the bed, and he punched the wall repeatedly with his injured arm, the cast and his anger blocking the pain momentarily.  He screamed and raged as his brain repeated over and over that it was his fault. He was the reason Shiro was fighting for his life, he was the reason Shiro no longer had an arm.  He had begged, knowing how much Shiro disapproved of his motorcycle and his brother had given in. If he had just let it go then Shiro would be fine.

Somewhere in all the chaos, Dr. Allura had managed to get three nurses to help restrain Keith and administer a strong sedative. Keith blinked slowly and realized he was no longer in his room. There was a nurse he didn’t know and Veronica pushing him on a stretcher. He felt a hand brush his hair from his forehead and thought he heard someone talking to him in a soft voice before he drifted off.

Keith woke up in a different room. His bed was somewhat upright so that he wasn’t lying completely flat and his left arm looked like it had been re-cast. His left leg was throbbing and he had a new brace making it impossible for him to move his leg at all.  The sound of someone clearing their throat caught his attention.  He turned to see Dr. Allura watching him with a piercing look.  He didn’t even bother to acknowledge her as she sat down next to his bed. 

“You know Keith, you were lucky you didn’t permanently damage your leg. You did however manage to re-break your wrist and you tore several ligaments in your knee by pulling that stunt earlier. You had to have more surgeries to repair what was already starting to heal. Not to mention how much expensive hospital equipment you’ve damaged.”

Keith didn’t have it in him to respond. His body felt heavy, whatever they gave him must still be in his system. Allura took a deep breath and continued.  “I understand that you’re angry, and you want to see your brother. But this is not the way to make that happen.  Your displaced anger could have caused serious injury to not only yourself but to myself and the other nurses who were called in to restrain you.”

Keith stared at the ceiling trying to fight the tears that fell down his face. How could he explain that he was angry at himself for putting his brother in this situation? No one seemed to understand that this was his fault. As if reading his thoughts Allura grabbed his hand, “Keith I meant what I said. Your anger is displaced. This was not your fault. It does no good to blame yourself. _You_ were not drunk. _You_ did not run a red light. _You_ did not run your car into two innocent people.”

Keith gripped Allura’s hand back, his voice was raspy as he responded, “he didn’t want to ride on my motorcycle. I begged him that night to ride with me.” His voice choked as he tried to make the doctor, someone, understand that it really was his fault. He struggled to explain more but the medication he was on began to slowly pull him under once again.  Allura watched as he drifted back into an uneasy sleep.  She had been an intern the day Keith’s parents died and she had nightmares for weeks after seeing the injuries from that wreck. It wasn’t until a few days ago that she realized the connection between the brothers and the husband and wife from 6 years ago. Having lost her parents at an early age as well she could sympathize and truly felt for the younger brother.  He had been through tremendous tragedies already and this latest course of events was putting him in a precarious situation.  She was sure if he didn’t come to grips with his anger it could only get worse for Keith.  She pushed a few strands of hair from his forehead and with a heavy sigh left to check on Shiro.

 

Over the next few days, Keith refused to leave his room. Even when Allura said he could now see Shiro he acted as if he couldn’t hear what she was saying, feigning sleep or sometimes just flat out ignoring her or anyone else. Veronica came in a few times as well trying to entice him to visit the kids on the 6th floor.  Aside from not leaving his room he stopped eating as well.  It wasn’t until three of the kids snuck into his room that Keith started to come back to himself.  He heard the unmistakable sound of several someone’s rolling a pump through his door and when he turned his head he saw not one but three kids each dragging along their own pumps.

Eva, Jackie and Drew stood in Keith’s door looking nervous. “What are you guys doing here?”

Eva shrugged and walked towards Keith’s bed, “Veronica said you weren’t feeling good and couldn’t come visit for a while.”

Jackie shifted her eyes to the door and closed it before following Eva to Keith’s bed. She handed him a stack of papers, “everyone drew you a get-well card except for Gracie.”

Keith frowned, “Why didn’t Gracie make one?”

Eva took a shuttering breath, “she hasn’t been feeling well. She keeps asking about you but Dr. Smythe won’t let her out of bed. She’s got a bad fever and her parents have been staying all the time now.”

Keith knew enough to know that a fever was dangerous for any of these kids. He swallowed hard and fought to keep his voice steady, “well, I don’t know if I can visit just yet but maybe I can make her a get-well card instead.”

Drew grinned and pulled a bag from underneath his robe, “I brought some colors and paper so we could draw while we visited with you, but I think Gracie would like it if we all made her a get-well card.”

Keith nodded and the three kids managed to climb in his bed careful of his leg and they managed to get lost in their various projects for Gracie. Keith had decided to draw a hippo holding a big heart with “get well” written in the heart.

Keith was just finishing up when a commotion caught his attention. There was some yelling and the three kids shared a guilty look just as the door opened and a doctor with red-orange hair and a glorious mustache barged in.  Drew, Jackie and Eva all moved from the bed standing side by side as if they were lined up for execution. 

The doctor spoke in a stern but fond voice, “so this is where the three of you snuck off to.”

The three kids mumbled in unison, “yes Dr. Smythe.”

Keith couldn’t help it when his lips turned up ever so slightly. He listened in as the three were reprimanded for leaving the ward, worrying the other nurses when they couldn’t be found, and lectured on disturbing other patients. There was a loud rumble of outrage as they argued with Dr. Smythe. They were not disturbing anyone and wanted to visit Keith.

At this admission, Dr. Smythe fought back a grin, “so you’re the famous Keith these kids are always talking about.”

Keith blinked several times, “well, I’m not sure about being famous but uh, yeah I’m Keith.”

Dr. Smythe waved a hand, “Nonsense. You are most definitely famous as you are the only person these misfits have talked about for the past month. I am Dr. Coran Hieronymus Wimbleton Smythe, but you can just call me Dr. Smythe.”

Keith nodded, not sure what to say after that. He watched as Dr. Smythe ushered the kids out into the hall. Before he could close the door completely he called out, “Wait! Dr. Smythe!”

He turned in the doorway, full attention on Keith, “what can I do for you?”

Keith rubbed the back of his neck and grabbed the paper he had been drawing on and shoved it at the doctor, “could you give this to Gracie for me? And maybe tell her that I hope she feels better soon.”

Dr. Smythe gave Keith a sympathetic smile, “I most certainly will. And you know, when you’re feeling up to it, she might appreciate a visit from you.”

Keith’s head jerked up, surprise in his eyes, “I can go see her?”

Dr. Smythe nodded, friendly smile in place, “Of course you can. Like I said, when you’re feeling up to it that is.”

As soon as Dr. Smythe left, Veronica walked in from her normal routine to check Keith’s vitals. After failing several times to get Keith to engage in conversation the past couple of days she left him to his own thoughts. Today though she was shocked when he actually spoke, “why didn’t you tell me Gracie was sick?”

She looked at Keith and pulled a chair up next to his bed, “I didn’t want to use Gracie as a guilt trip on you. I wanted you to go on your own.  I wasn’t trying to keep it from you, but I felt if I told you after your last episode it might not go so well.”

Keith nodded, “I was an obnoxious little shit that day wasn’t I?”

Veronica didn’t have the heart to give him a hard time when she saw the hurt in his eyes. This kid was already dealing with some serious shit and she just didn’t have it in him to lecture him. She left that for Dr. Allura, “we all have crap days. You just happened to have a super crap day and it got the best of you.”

“No, that’s not true. I’ve had a lot of crap days but even on the good days I’m just a shit person.  I haven’t been a nice person for a long time.”

Veronica stared at Keith. This kid, not much older if not the same age as her youngest brother, didn’t deserve whatever life had dealt to make him so cynical. “Mi abuela, my grandmother I mean, she always told me and my brothers and sisters that there’s always going to be hard times. But she said those people who manage to use what they’re going through as a learning curve, they are the ones who are gonna be someone, do something with themselves. My grandfather died not long after she gave birth to her 9th child, my mama.  She was alone, a widow in Cuba, with nothing to her name.  And do you know what she did?”

Keith shook his head.

Veronica took a breath and continued. “She raised her nine children by herself. She took the 14 acres of land my grandfather left her and turned it into a farm. She bought everything she needed piece by piece. She earned her money by ironing and washing clothes for the wealthy. She mended the factory worker’s clothes for just coins a day. She used those coins to buy seeds for corn, cucumbers, and tomato plants. She planted potatoes and wheat. She sold what she could to her neighbors while still feeding her own family.  She eventually earned enough money to buy cows, horses, chickens, goats, and sheep.  She utilized everything from every crop and animal she bought. When she died six years ago she was so wealthy she was able to leave each of her children over $650,000 each.  She told me the hardest day of her life was when my grandfather died.  I didn’t understand how that could be when she sacrificed so much of her own life to provide for her kids with no help. She literally worked through blood, sweat and tears so that her family would never go without. She said raising her children was something she was proud of. She was able to teach them values, and love, and how to take care of themselves even if the world took everything away from them. Not only was she able to teach these things to her children, but also to most of her grandchildren.  Every summer when we would go visit her she had us milking cows, sheering sheep, feeding the chickens and collecting the eggs, we did it all. She said the reason it was so hard when grandfather died was that he wasn’t there to tell them how proud he was of them because she knew he would have been. And he would have told them, he would have told us. And she was sad he would never know his grandchildren because he would have spoiled us so much. But she never complained because she loved her family. So yea, we have crap days. But we have to learn to make the best out of what we have.”

Keith wiped a tear from his cheek. He hadn’t even realized he had been crying as he listened to Veronica’s story. “When my mom and my dad adopted me at 8 years old my mom told me how I was going to grow up to be a strong person, a brave person who was unafraid to face what life threw at me.  But I haven’t been that person since they died.  I don’t think they would be very proud of me right now. Especially after learning about your grandparents.  I’ve sort of let all of those bad things that happen to me become the excuse for being an asshole. I mean who wouldn’t be an asshole, right? Except for your grandmother.”

Veronica smiled sadly, “Keith, you’re still young. I don’t know everything that’s happened to you, but right here right now, if I were you I would probably be just as angry.  I can’t imagine losing my parents, or sitting in a hospital knowing that my only family had been hanging on to life while I was sitting helpless.  It probably won’t get easier, but you can at least make the most of what you have.”

Keith nodded. He was just about to respond when Dr. Allura walked in. She frowned when she saw how upset he looked. “Are you ok?”

Keith gave Dr. Allura a watery smile, “Yea, I’m fine. Veronica was just giving me a bit of perspective.” Allura smiled, “well I was wondering if you were up for some company? I know you had three little misfits earlier but someone else has been asking about you.”

Keith shrugged not sure who else besides some of the other kids from the 6th floor would be asking about him.  Dr. Allura walked back out and had Veronica hold the door open as she wheeled in Keith’s visitor. His face crumpled as he saw his brother sitting in the chair.  His right arm gone, his shoulder bandaged and his nose had a scar across it.  He wanted to run to his brother but his leg kept him in bed.  Allura and Veronica helped Shiro sit on Keith’s bed. Keith blinked fast, unable to keep the tears from falling. He gasped hard as Shiro pulled Keith into his chest with his left arm. Keith fell into him and sobbed as Shiro carded his hand through Keith’s hair. “It’s ok baby brother. It’s ok I’m here.”

Keith rested his forehead against Shiro’s chest allowing the comfort after pushing it away for so many years; his shoulders shook as he kept muttering two words over and over, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

Shiro sighed, leaning forward to press a kiss to the top of Keith’s head. “It’s not your fault.”

“But I begged you to go that night!” Keith argued. “If it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t, you wouldn’t…”

Shiro pressed a finger under Keith’s chin to lift his head up, “And if it wasn’t for me, that car would have killed you. Dr. Allura told me that because I turned my body to protect you, that’s the only reason you are alive. Do you know what that would have done to me if I lost you?”

Keith gripped Shiro’s hospital gown, his breaths becoming sporadic, unable to control his crying. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I don’t want to lose you either. They said…. they told me the surgeries…. that you might not wake up. I’m sorry. I…your arm…..it’s my fault, it’s all my fault.”

Shiro placed his hand on Keith’s cheek and pressed his face to his chest. He wrapped his one arm around Keith slowly rocking back and forth. Keith continued to mutter his apologies as Shiro hummed the song their mom used to sing to Keith when he woke up frightened from a nightmare. Shiro didn’t know how long he sat there holding his brother but he felt a hand on his shoulder and looked to see Dr. Allura reaching to gently pull Keith, who had fallen asleep, from his arm and onto his pillow.  He let her help him into his wheel chair and asked if he could sit with Keith for a little while longer. She nodded once and left them alone.

Shiro watched his little brother sleep while he carded his hand through the mop of hair on Keith’s head. Ever since their parents died, Shiro swore to himself he would do whatever he could to keep Keith happy but seeing the dried tears on his brother’s cheeks, he felt as if he had failed in so many ways. His little brother had been so angry for the past six years and no matter how hard Shiro tried, it seemed as if he had lost that happy little boy his parents had nurtured Keith into on the day they died.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Several days later, Keith began to venture out again with Veronica pushing him around the hospital. His first visit was to Shiro, then Gracie. He was grinning after leaving Shiro. His brother had been in the middle of a discussion about physical therapy and prosthetics with Dr. Allura. Keith made note of the blush on his brother’s face and if Veronica hadn’t been wheeling him around he would have stayed to tease him relentlessly about it.  As it was, he stored the information away for a later date and made his way to visit Gracie and the other kids. He had been worried when he found out she had a fever but by the time Keith was able to see her, she was back to herself if not a bit more tired than normal.  Dr. Smythe had decided to increase her treatments after her setback in the hopes that her body would start responding in a more positive way.  Because Gracie was easily tired, all of the other kids and Keith was sitting in the children’s ward with several pages of drawings deciding which cool weapons the lions in their story would have.  The red lion had a fire beam and a huge plasma cannon, the green lion had cloaking abilities and was able to shoot vines that wrapped around the enemy and destroyed it, the blue lion had an ice ray for freezing enemies and a sonic cannon, and the yellow lion had super armored claws.  The group of kids was currently arguing which cool feature the black lion should have when Gracie tugged on Keith’s sleeve. He had to lean down as she whispered one word, “wings.”

Keith cocked his head to the side contemplating what Gracie told him, “So, like big bird wings? Like an eagle or something?”

Gracie shook her head, “White wings, kind of like angel wings maybe? And they kind of look invisible or see through but also really soft. And it makes the lion go super-fast.”

Drew and Aiden both gave loud whoops of excitement, and the girls Jackie, Eva, Jacie, Amie, and Gracie began instructing Keith on just how to draw the wings for the black lion.

Keith grinned as Mark and Jackie teased Veronica. Most days she stayed with Keith while he visited the kids as he was usually her only patient. Today, she was sitting at the table and coloring with them, and lacked any skills with colors and kids being kids found this extremely amusing.

Veronica frowned, “I don’t get it. I’m the only one of my brothers and sisters who would probably die if my life depended on coloring.”

Amie shrugged, “but look at all the other cool stuff you can do. I mean not everyone can set broken bones, administer addictive drugs at the right dosage, or not faint at the slightest trace of blood.”

Keith looked up from the page he was coloring and reached over to grab the yellow crayon Veronica was holding and flipped it over in her hand, “Yea, she can do all of that, but crayon holding techniques are beyond her level of intelligence. Basic kindergarten skills completely wasted on her.”

Veronica glared at Keith and tossed her yellow crayon at him causing the kids to laugh, “Oh, hush you.”

Just as Veronica was getting up to pick the crayon she threw off the ground there was commotion in the hallway. The kids and Keith were used to emergencies rushing up and down the halls but when a doctor that Keith had never seen before came in looking for Veronica the group got extremely quiet.

Right behind the doctor in a panic was a boy, probably the same age as Keith, with short brown hair, very tan, and startling blue eyes. His shirt was covered in blood but it didn’t look like his own. His eyes were red-rimmed and his face had the tell-tale signs of tear tracks but he latched onto Veronica, “I’m sorry, Ronnie!  I walked away for just a second and Nadia was gone. There was so much blood.”

Veronica grabbed the boy’s shoulders; his face had gone extremely pale. Keith noticed Veronica was doing her best to keep calm as well. It was apparent she knew him and whoever this Nadia person was, “Lance, calm down. I need you to tell me exactly what happened to Nadia. And where are the other kids?”

The boy, Lance, stuttered, “I, I was… it was just a few seconds…she was there...”

“Lance! Breathe!”

Veronica held Lance’s face gently and mimicked taking a deep breath in through her nose and out through her mouth. She did this several times with Lance until he was no longer on the verge of a panic attack.

“Good, now start over. Slowly and from the beginning ok?”

Lance nodded, “I had the kids outside for lunch. They wanted to eat under the apple trees in the backyard.  Then Sylvio spilled his drink. I was just going to give him the rest of mine so I wouldn’t leave them outside alone, but I left my drink on the table near the house. When I was coming back I heard Sylvio screaming.”

Keith watched as Lance began to tremble, his eyes shut tight as Veronica wiped a tear from his cheek and kissed his forehead, “It’s ok Lance, you’re doing good. I just need you to tell me the rest ok?”

Lance gripped Veronica’s wrists, his voice shaking and cracking with every word, “Nadia was on the ground and Sylvio was just standing there screaming. He just kept screaming and screaming, and when I got there she was just lying there. She tried to climb the tree and fell. I don’t know how high up she was, but her arm was bent and she had…..she had…”

At that moment Lance lost the contents of his stomach. Veronica gripped his waist and led him gently to the ground. Another nurse had come in to clean up the mess as Veronica held Lance until he calmed down again. “Veronica, there was so much blood.”

Veronica pushed the hair from Lance’s forehead, “its ok. She’s here now ok? She’s gonna be ok.  Now where are Sylvio, Nicholas, and Lucy?”

Lance took a deep breath, “I made Nicky take Sylvio inside because he was so upset, and I asked Lucy if she could call Hunk. He was off today so he came to pick up the kids while I called for the ambulance and rode with Nadia.”

Veronica kissed Lance’s forehead again, “good job, you did a good job ok? Did you call Luis and Lisa or Marco and Elizabeth yet?”

Lance groaned, “Luis is gonna hate me. He’ll never let me watch the kids again. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to let Nadia get hurt.”

“Hey, it’s not your fault. How many times have Luis and mama told Nadia not to climb those damn trees? You did exactly what you were supposed to, ok?”

Lance nodded, unable to help it when a few more tears escaped, “I was scared Ronnie.”

Veronica hugged Lance, “it’s ok to be scared. Now, can you stay here for a few minutes? I want to go check on Nadia and then I’m going to call everyone else. I’ll come back as soon as I can.”

As soon as Veronica left Gracie jumped from where she had been leaning against Keith’s wheelchair. All of the kids had instinctively known enough to stay away from the interaction between Veronica and Lance.  Gracie walked up to Lance as if she was approaching a frightened kitten. She gently tugged on his sleeve, unbothered by the blood covering his shirt, “do you want to wash your hands?  You can color with us after and wait for Veronica to come back.”

Lance looked down at the little blonde with a start and then took notice of where he was. He was in a room with 9 kids and another boy with dark hair about his age.  They all looked as if they were trying hard not to have been listening and he was grateful at the attempt they made. He looked down at his hands and shirt that was covered in Nadia’s blood and let the little girl lead him to the bathroom.  He was able to get the blood off of his hands but his shirt was a lost cause.  With a sigh he left the bathroom to wait for Veronica.

Keith was in deep discussion with Mark and Drew about a drawing of the red lion. Drew wanted the red lion to be bigger, but Mark and Keith both agreed that smaller was the way to go. Keith explained that the smaller body frame would allow the lion to be fast and more agile in combat. It took him a minute to realize Gracie had taken the lead and began to introduce Lance to the other kids. He felt a little bad that a four year old was more socially aware than he was at times but from what he could tell Lance seemed to appreciate the distraction that Gracie provided him.

Keith watched as she continued to pull Lance along by his hand, “and this is Keith, Drew, and Mark. Keith drew the pictures for us and we’re gonna write a story about the lions!”

Gracie ushered Lance into one of the chairs at the table and Amie sat next to him with five crayons and tapped his arm for his attention, “We have blue, yellow, red, black and green for the lions. Which color do you like best?”

Lance gave a shaky smile, still reeling from the shock of his earlier adventures no doubt, “I like blue.”

At that announcement Amie, Drew and Aiden all gave a cheer. Aiden gave Lance a high five, “one more for team blue!”

Keith passed a page of an uncolored lion to Lance, “you can color this one blue if you want.”

Lance looked at the page with wide eyes, “you drew this?”

Keith felt himself blush as he nodded. Something about the astonishment on Lance’s face and the awe in those bright blue eyes unsettled him. He was used to praise for his drawings and art, but this was different.  In art classes for school, the remarks were always diluted with how his work could be improved, how he could go far if it weren’t for his disciplinary issues.  Other than the kids here at the hospital or Shiro, it had been a while since someone appreciated his drawings with no other expectations.

Lance grinned, a true smile since he first stepped into the room, and Keith couldn’t help but feel this was the real Lance. Not the scared Lance that shook and stuttered covered in blood, clutching Veronica as if his life depended on it. “These are amazing!”

Several minutes later and Lance had settled in with the kids and Keith as they waited for Veronica to return.

Lance looked over at Keith after several of the kids had been sent back to their rooms for treatments or just to lie down and rest. “You don’t have to stay with me if you don’t want.”

Keith shrugged, “I’m kind of stuck until Veronica gets back anyway. She’s my nurse.”

Lance nodded, “so if she’s your nurse how’d you get stuck in the children’s ward? Veronica works two floors down.”

Keith ducked his head and rubbed the back of his neck in a bit of shame, “well, about 2 or 3 weeks ago I threw a temper tantrum because I was bored and Veronica brought me here. So ever since then I’ve been visiting the kids when she’s on shift.”

Lance raised an eyebrow, “a temper tantrum? Are you three?”

Keith glared at Lance though it was half-hearted at best, “I told you I was bored. And the dynamic douche duo of Kevin and Liz refused to let me out of the room just because.” Lance threw his head back and grabbed his stomach as he laughed, “Oh man! That is the best thing I’ve heard. The dynamic douche duo!”

Keith let out an undignified snort. Lance’s laugh was infectious “Well they are a couple of douche bags. If you met them you would understand.”

Lance nodded solemnly but couldn’t help the smile on his lips, “whatever you say dude.”

The pair fell into a relatively comfortable silence as Lance shuffled through the pages some of the kids colored. He picked one up and showed it to Keith, “who colored this one?”

Keith laughed when he saw the poorly colored picture of the yellow lion that Lance was holding, “Veronica did that.”

Lance laughed as well, “That explains a lot!”

Keith watched as Lance looked through the rest of the pictures, “How do you know Veronica?”

“She’s my sister or one of them anyway. Veronica is the oldest. Then there’s Luis, Marco, Rachel, and Joey. And then there’s me, Lance. They had to save the best for last you know.”

Keith laughed as Lance shot a pair of finger guns and a wink at him, “Must be a family thing. Your sister did the same thing when she introduced herself.”

Lance grinned, “She stole it from me. I’m trying to teach all the kids now.”

Keith frowned, “All the kids?” Lance looked up wide-eyed, “oh yea, I didn’t tell you about all my nieces and nephews.  So, Veronica just has Lucy. She’s the oldest at 12 and super smart.  Lucy’s dad is a deadbeat and we don’t speak about him so if you value your life don’t mention to Veronica that I said anything.  Then Luis is married to Lisa and they have the twins Nadia and Sylvio, and they are only 6. And Marco is married to Elizabeth and they have Nicholas who just turned 10, but I think they’re trying for another one. They just haven’t told anyone yet.  All of the kids love their uncle Lancey-Lance.”

Keith stared at Lance after that long explanation, “wow, that’s a lot of people for one family.”

Lance chuckled, “Yea sorry. It can be a bit overwhelming to a lot of people. And that’s not even counting all my aunts and uncles and cousins.”

Keith could only nod; the biggest his family had ever been was his mom, dad and Shiro. He didn’t even have grandparents or aunts and uncles. But he could understand Lance’s concern over his niece Nadia. She was just a kid and falling out of a tree was probably pretty scary for a 6 year old. Hell, seeing a kid on the ground after falling out of a tree had to be pretty scary if Lance’s reaction was anything to go by.

Before he could comment on it Veronica walked back in the room. When Lance stood up she wrapped her arms around his lanky frame, “Luis is on his way. Nadia is going to be just fine. Dr. Perez said she broke her arm, but it was a clean break and should heal in 6-8 weeks. She bit through her bottom lip when she fell and hit her nose which was the reason for all the blood but they are pretty sure it can be stitched with minimal scarring.”

Lance breathed a sigh of relief and slumped into his sister. His shoulders shook briefly as he let his head rest on Veronica’s shoulder. Keith couldn’t hear what Lance had mumbled but he heard Veronica reassuring Lance once more, “she’s going to be ok Lance, you did everything right. I promise Luis is not mad at you.”

Lance straightened up and blinked fast as Veronica wiped the few tears that fell down his cheek again. “Lisa is going to stop at the Garrett’s house to pick up the other three kids since Marco and Elizabeth have to work late. I talked to Hunk as well. He was able to get Sylvio settled down and he actually fell asleep.”

Keith busied himself doodling on a scrap of paper while the siblings continued to talk. He felt awkward staying in the room while they talked but with his left hand still in a cast he wasn’t able to wheel himself to his room.  However, he was spared when Veronica finally sat down and attempted to introduce her brother to Keith, “Keith, this is Lance, my brother. Lance, this is Keith.”

Lance grinned, “You’re only about 30 minutes too late. We’ve already met.”

Veronica lightly punched Lance’s arm, “smart-ass. So what did you two talk about while I was gone? I told Lance we would wait with him until Luis showed up.”

Keith smirked, “we bonded over your abysmal coloring skills.”

Lance snorted as Veronica let out an indignant yelp, “Watch it Kogane. I know your doctor and I’m not afraid to tell her to sedate you.”

Lance raised an eyebrow, “Sedation huh? Just how bad are your temper tantrums?”

Keith blushed, “Shut up Lance.”

The trio continued their friendly banter for a few more minutes until a tall man who could have passed for Lance’s twin walked in. Veronica stood up to meet him at the door and Keith watched as Lance held back with a bit of trepidation. Within several minutes the man walked over to pull Lance into a hug.  There was a soft conversation between the two and Veronica leaned down to get Keith’s attention, “I’m gonna bring Luis and Lance to Nadia’s room and then I’ll come back for you.”

Keith nodded, ready to be back in his own room for a change. The day had been a bit more eventful then he was used to lately and he was looking forward to a nap.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've gotten this far thank you for reading! I have so much more planned and I hope everyone sticks around. Feel free to ask questions or offer helpful advise. I'm not a writer this is just something I do in my free time so any grammatical errors are all on me.
> 
> Also if anyone is interested I know many people have playlists for their writing. I don't necessarily have a playlist but I can give you a list of songs that inspired each chapter. I wish I would have thought of that from the beginning but I'll start from here.
> 
> Chapter 1:  
> Temporary Home by Carrie Underwood  
> Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Katharine McPhee (I really love her version)  
> Chapter 2:  
> Brother by Need to Breathe and Gavin DeGraw  
> Chapter 3:  
> Fix You by Cold Play


	4. Fix You Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a multitude of warnings and I will do my best to mention them all. There is mention of past child abuse, mentions of past attempt at sexual child abuse, mentions of vomiting, anxiety, panic attacks, nightmares, unintentional self-harm, and the biggest is minor character death.
> 
> Also, I'm not a doctor nor extremely knowledgeable in the medical world so most of the hospital jargon and things that happen are made up for my own story line.
> 
> Hopefully I've covered everything. If I've missed something that makes you uncomfortable and you think it should be noted as a warning please let me know and as always enjoy!
> 
> I love kudos and reviews!

_When the tears come streaming down your face_

_When you lose something you can't replace_

_When you love someone but it goes to waste_

_Could it be worse?_

_Fix You By: Coldplay_

 

Over the next several weeks both Keith and Shiro had to endure intense physical therapy. Neither one of them were in any position to go back home so they were stuck at the hospital for quite a while. Shiro had to re-learn everything using his left hand until he could be fit with a prosthetic for his right arm. As for Keith, he had to work on his entire left side. His leg and arm lost a lot of muscle mass and even something as simple as standing by his bed was difficult.  The brothers had the same physical therapist, a tall, muscular guy with the personality of a teddy bear. He was as gentle as he was large, but he was thorough in each of his sessions.  Keith wanted to hate him but the guy was just too nice. He had introduced himself as Hunk and Keith felt a prick of recognition at the name but soon forgot about it once his sessions started.  His sessions were brutal. Hunk may have had the personality of an oversized teddy bear, but he did not back down when it came to his patient’s therapy.  Even Keith’s foul temper and intimidation tactics had no effect on Hunk.  He just stood there, arms crossed, patiently waiting. He may have been a big softie, but he was no pushover. And every damn time Keith would growl and curse and continue on with whatever Hunk had scheduled for him that particular day.

During those weeks Lance also became a regular visitor. He had stopped by to visit Nadia the day after she had fallen and had followed Veronica on her rounds after seeing his niece. Keith had been on her schedule that day and after that Lance had made it a point to stop by even if Veronica wasn’t around.  Keith’s attitude continuously made an appearance.  He was prickly and moody, and often times he snapped at Lance for no reason. It was hard to lose the anger he had harbored for so long since his parents’ death.  Lance on the other hand took it in stride.  He would wave off Keith’s anger with a shrug and tell Keith he would be pissed to if he had been stuck in a hospital for 2 months with crappy food. It was as if he didn’t understand that Keith was always angry and that he hated everyone.  Regardless of Keith’s poor people skills, he and Keith struck up a quick friendship especially once Lance met the dynamic douche-duo of Kevin and Liz.  Keith saw a whole new side of Lance on the days Kevin or Liz was on duty. He pushed buttons on the hospital equipment, he raised the volume on Keith’s TV to an obnoxious level, he unplugged everything, he would hide the clipboards and round sheets they used for each patient, and he would sneak some of the kids to Keith’s floor with Amie’s help and instigated wheelchair races. He was so good he even managed to talk Shiro into a few of the races.  Dr. Allura caught them once and she made them all write lines.  That particular day everyone involved which included Lance, Shiro, Keith, Amie, Drew, Jacie, Aiden, Mark, and Veronica and they all had to write “I will not have wheelchair races in a hospital” 500 times. Well, it was 50 times for the kids and Shiro, but Lance, Veronica and Keith were stuck with 500 lines. Keith teased Shiro for being the “doctor’s pet” even as Shiro’s chicken scratch made it obvious why Allura only gave him 50 lines.  Truthfully since Shiro was having to write everything with his left hand, Allura let him give up after only 10 lines of chicken scratch.  They made sure that she never caught them again. 

One particular day Keith was in the middle of a trying physical therapy session with Hunk when Lance walked in. Hunk had been trying to convince Keith for the past half hour to put his weight on his left leg for 5 seconds. Keith had been adamantly cursing at Hunk about his leg hurting when Lance let out an ungodly screech. “Hunk! My man, my bro, what brings you to this side of the neighborhood?”

Keith faltered on his feet at the sudden noise letting a few more curse words out just as Hunk caught him before he toppled over. “Um, dude I work here. What are you doing in Keith’s room?”

“Small galaxy! I met Keith the day Nadia broke her arm. We’ve been causing havoc on the days Kevin and Liz are working.”

Keith huffed, clearly not in the mood for Lance or his cheeriness, “Do you know everyone at the hospital?”

Lance grinned, “Not yet, but I’m getting there! Anyway Hunk has been my best bud since forever.”

Something clicked in Keith’s brain at that comment, “You’re the one who helped Lance that day Nadia broke her arm.”

Hunk nodded, “yea, I’m just glad she was ok. I would have stayed but I don’t do well with blood. It’s why I’m only a physical therapist and not like a doctor or anything. And it only took 2 years and an associate’s degree instead of 8 or 9 and a PhD in medical miracles or something.”

Keith hummed in acknowledgement, while he didn’t get weak in the knees or pass out at the sight, he wasn’t a fan of blood either so he could relate.

Hunk continued to help Keith through his therapy (reminding Keith that this session would have been done 45 minutes ago if he would just do what he was told) but nodded at Lance, “So you must be the trouble-maker that Kevin and Liz have been referring to. They keep talking about some wayward heathen helping this disruptive patient make their lives a living hell.”

Lance gasped, “Hey! I will have you know my mama did not raise me as a heathen! She would be appalled to hear such things being said about me.”

Keith snorted not refuting Hunk’s claim that he was a disruptive patient, “She may not have raised a heathen but you most definitely are one.” Lance shrugged, “I blame Veronica. She used to watch us all the time when mama and papa were at work.”

Keith listened as Hunk and Lance continued talking about mundane things. He interjected occasionally but today his sour mood and therapy seemed to sap all energy out of him. Once Hunk was done with him, Keith sank onto his pillows with a groan. He was drifting off when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He cracked open an eye to see Lance staring at him, “Hey, you look beat. I’m gonna head out if that’s ok?”

Keith nodded and gave a half-hearted wave of his hand, too tired for simple small talk.

He barely registered Lance and Hunk leaving as he drifted off to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Over the next couple of months Keith and Shiro were in and out of the hospital for physical therapy, check-ups, and dealing with the back log of bills from the accident and everyday life. Shiro was out of the hospital quicker than Keith but because of the nature of both of their injuries they were unable to help each other and needed in-home care from the hospital for a few more weeks once they were released. Shiro was only slightly better off than Keith and moved in temporarily with Keith while they both healed.  Keith was forced to find a desk job while undergoing physical therapy for his left side.  His former employer at the mechanic shop assured him his job would be waiting once he fully recovered.  Keith also maintained a friendship with Hunk and Veronica from his hospital stay and also by extension from his growing friendship with Lance.  Shiro on the other hand was teased mercilessly by Keith for his growing attraction to a certain doctor with dark skin and white hair.  The teasing was good-natured and Shiro was able to gloat in a moment of glorious victory when said doctor returned his feelings and they began dating once Shiro was no longer her patient.  Even with the struggle of both brothers getting back on their feet, Shiro noticed the change in Keith’s attitude.  He knew part of the change was the kids he had befriended in the hospital. He also knew a larger part of it had been Lance.  Even after his visits to the 6th floor children’s ward, Keith would still continue to be sullen and close himself off from almost everyone.  Since Lance pushed his way into Keith’s circle, something had changed.  He didn’t know if it was Lance’s constant smile and flippant attitude towards Keith’s anger, but whatever it was had slowly begun to chip away at Keith’s tough exterior. His little brother was definitely starting to soften up a bit.

Even with his new friends and being released from the hospital, Keith was not doing well at all. His nights were restless, plagued with nightmares. It was as if the accident had set Keith back mentally.  He would wake up shaking, sweating, trapped in his own mind, apologizing for something or anything and he didn’t even know why.  He felt as terrified as he did at five years old, past nightmares haunting him, panic and fear taking over.  Even during the day, he was nervous; jumping at even the slightest movements from Shiro knowing his brother would never hurt him in any way. It had even gotten to the point that Keith was now reverting back to pulling his hair, digging his fingernails into his skin and late night panic attacks after some of his more vivid nightmares. Tonight is no exception.

_He’s only six years old but the slaps to his face are a shock. He’s never been hit like that before. He had been pushed by an older kid at school and ripped his pants at the knees.  It didn’t matter that his knees were bloodied and bruised from falling; he was in trouble for messing up his clothes. It’s not like they fit him anyway. He even had a note from the school nurse explaining that it wasn’t his fault. He didn’t even say anything and now someone’s screaming at him to shut up._

_He’s still six but it’s a few months later. He’s in a different home and he may have clothes that fit him but he still gets yelled at for no reason. He wasn’t their kid so of course he got blamed for everything. He didn’t even have a bike but Blake told Ms. Ellie that Keith ran his bike into the side of her car and put the dent in it.  He got beat for lying, even though his dad had taught him never to lie._

_He’s seven now and not only does he not have clothes that fit once again, but now he never knows when he’s gonna get food. He was so hungry, and his arms hurt where he had been burnt multiple times by cigarettes. The floor that he slept on was dirty and bugs crawled everywhere. He was cold and hot at the same time but the blanket he had provided very little warmth or comfort of any kind._

_Another different house. This one is nice, a soft bed, warm blankets, and three meals a day. But there are bruises on his arms and his legs, several more on his back. His left ankle hurts; he thinks he twisted it trying to run away from Mr. Peter.  He was hiding under his bed, listening and hoping the footsteps would keep going. But he’s not so lucky.  Strong arms reach to pull him out from under the bed. He expected to be hit but what he doesn’t expect is the quick motion of his pajama pants being pulled down and a hand reaching inside his underwear.  He screams and kicks, fear coiling deep in his gut. He lands a lucky kick to Mr. Peter’s groin and runs. Mrs. Megan is yelling at him but he won’t come back. He’s still screaming and running as fast as possible. He’s knocking on a door, begging for someone anyone to help him. He feels Mr. Peter grab him but he uses his small body to his advantage twisting and turning out of his hands. He manages to crawl under the neighbor’s house and wedge his body in the small space under the steps._

_He’s still under the steps but there are red and blue lights. His whole left side is in pain. He feels something warm running down his face. He’s trying to pull away from the hands grabbing him. Everything hurts, there’s a growing feeling of nausea in his stomach from being touched so he grips his arms and digs his fingernails hard into his skin. There’s a voice calling his name and those hands again. He tries to twist away but this time the pain is too much and all he can do is slump against whoever is holding him. He tries to open his eyes but all he sees is mangled metal all around him and the words drunk driver float around in his mind._

Keith is awake and the only thing he can register is he’s leaning over the edge of his bed and emptying his guts. There’s a hand on his back and he flinches away. The images and memories of his nightmare still fresh in his mind. There’s a motion to his left and someone is leaving his room. He scrambles from his bed and opens his closet hoping to hide, knowing that hiding never works; they always find him.  Keith holds his breath trying to make as little noise as possible. Whoever was just in his room is back. Indistinct noises reach Keith’s ears and panic sets in. He can’t see what’s going on but he’s too afraid to move. He grips his hair and pulls. Tufts of black hair come out and he pulls again and again, and he’s so afraid all he can do is let out a pained keening sound. The door slowly opens and Keith begins rocking back and forth still pulling on his hair. Strong but gentle hands pull his hands away from his hair. He’s pulled against a warm body and a deep voice starts humming softly. It’s not a distinct tune, just a soft hum as hands card gently through his hair, fingers softly massaging his scalp to soothe the pain from his self-inflicted injuries. The gesture reminds him of his mom and he slumps against the broad chest. His body trembles and shakes uncontrollably, he tries to muffle his sobs so scared the gentle treatment he’s receiving is going to end. It’s only minutes later when Keith is finally conscious enough to realize he’s not 6 but 20 years old and in his own apartment and Shiro is next to him. He can smell the familiarity of detergent and soap that is distinctly Shiro. His body slowly begins to relax once he realizes he’s safe. He doesn’t even remember Shiro staying over for the night but he’s not in those shit excuses of foster homes or being beaten.  He grips the front of Shiro’s shirt and lets the fear and pains of his nightmare slowly fade away.  He stays with his ear pressed to Shiro’s chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart and tries to match his breathing to the slow and steady rhythm of Shiro’s.  He must have relaxed enough to fall asleep because he’s waking up and it’s around 9 the next morning and he’s in his own bed.

~~~~~~~~~~

Keith continued to visit the kids on the 6th floor even after he was released.  Drew and Jacie were released not long after Keith. He was thrilled to learn they were both in remission and doing fine.  Gracie still struggled with treatments and had a lot of close calls. The other kids were still doing the same. It was on a cold February the 1st that Keith was struggling to navigate on his newly acquired crutches when he felt his world shift once again.  He had just finished physical therapy with Hunk and was just about to enter the children’s ward when he saw Dr. Smythe with a young couple. They were being ushered into a room down a long hallway and the looks on their faces left Keith with a hollow feeling in his chest.  As he entered the children’s room he noticed Mark, Jackie, Eva, and Gracie huddled quietly in a corner.  It was so unlike them to be so unusually quiet and when they saw Keith, Eva immediately burst into tears.  He hobbled over as quickly as possible and pulled the small girl into a hug and waited.  Each of the kids had extremely pale faces and Keith noticed Mark had tears on his cheeks.  Jackie sat with one hand holding Eva’s and her free arm around Gracie.  Both Jackie and Gracie had a hollow gaze and red puffy eyes.  Keith felt a growing sense of unease and once Eva moved out of his arms he got up and made his way down the hall where he saw Dr. Smythe disappear.

Keith stood outside the small room, a hand-drawn picture on the door caught his eyes and he saw the name Amie scribbled in blue crayon. He swallowed hard as he watched the young woman lay down in the small bed next to Amie stroking her hair with heartbreaking tenderness. He couldn’t tear his eyes away as the husband sat on the other side of the bed holding a small hand to his lips. Keith was unaware of how much time passed. He felt as if he was intruding on something so intimate and personal but couldn’t bring himself to leave. He closed his eyes and took a deep shuddering breath. He jumped as he felt a hand on his shoulder. When he looked up he was face to face with the young woman who had been holding Amie.  She had tears in her eyes when she spoke.

“Dr. Smythe told us your name is Keith. My name is Sarah, and my husband’s name is Toby.”

Keith could only nod, ashamed at being caught disrupting their privacy.

The woman spoke again, “Amie told us so much about you every time we came to visit. She kept the pictures you drew and talked about the story that you were all writing together.” Keith nodded again; he couldn’t talk even if he wanted to. It was all he could do remembering sweet, quiet Amie who had a mischievous streak when it came to wheel chair races. He knew it wouldn’t be fair to Amie’s parents’ to break down. Their loss was so much greater.

Keith jumped as the young man, Toby, reached out to shake Keith’s hand. “I’m Toby. It’s really nice to meet you.” Keith stuttered, “I… I’m so sorry to… I shouldn’t be here.”

Sarah pulled Keith into a hug, “Don’t be sorry. It means a lot to us that you cared about Amie.”

Keith could only nod into Sarah’s shoulder, the tears burning at the corner of his eyes. He squeezed his eyes shut and gripped his crutches. His body trembled at the effort of holding his emotions back. These people just lost their daughter and Keith was standing here taking them away from her, and yet they were still so nice to him.  He pulled back, “I’m so sorry.” Sarah cupped Keith’s cheeks in her hands, “do you want to see her?”

Keith didn’t miss the tears in both Sarah and Toby’s eyes. He shook his head, “I have, I mean I’m here for physical therapy. I should go. I shouldn’t take any more of your time.”

Sarah nodded and let Keith go, “Thank you again for being a good friend to Amie.”

Keith left the children’s ward unsure of where to go. He was still not used to his crutches and going anywhere fast was not an option. And now the burning of tears made things even more difficult. He turned a corner near some elevators and was knocked to the ground by someone in a hurry.  He thought someone was talking to him but he just sat on the ground, crutches somewhere nearby. It wasn’t until he felt a hand on his arm that he was jerked back to awareness.

“Keith, are you ok?”

He looked up to see Allura crouching down in front of him. Keith gave a blank stare, blinking slowly at Allura. Was he ok? He wasn’t even sure what exactly was supposed to be ok.

Allura grabbed Keith’s crutches and gently pulled him to his feet making sure he was steady before letting go of his arm. “Let’s go to my office. It’s just down the hall ok?”

Keith let Allura guide him into a chair. She knelt in front of him again, “Do you need me to call Shiro?”

Keith shook his head, “He’s at work. I just came for my therapy with Hunk.”

Allura let out a sigh, relieved that Keith was at least answering her questions for the moment. “Did you miss your appointment?”

Another shake of his head. Allura tried again, “Did you hurt yourself when you fell? Keith, I need to know if you’re hurt.” Keith turned his head away from Allura’s piercing gaze, “I went to the children’s ward. I usually go visit the kids before I go home.”

Allura waited, somehow knowing in this instant it was better to let Keith talk at his own pace. He started again, his voice barely a whisper, “I saw some of the kids looking upset and when I sat down Eva started crying. I didn’t know what was going on but I saw Dr. Smythe.  I followed him and stopped outside of the room. He was in there with a couple and the name on the door…. It was Amie’s room.  She… She was just so still.” Allura shifted to sit on the arm of the chair and pulled Keith to her. “Oh Keith, I am so sorry.”

She let him lean against her side as she carded her fingers through his hair. She pulled a phone from her pocket to call Shiro when her door opened.

“Dr. Allura, Dr. Smythe asked me to…. Oh… Oh I am so sorry I didn’t know.”

Allura waved a hand, “its ok Veronica. I think I know what Coran needs.” Veronica looked to Keith and then back to Allura. She had just found out about Amie and it seemed Keith knew as well. 

Allura handed Veronica her phone. “I’m going to stay here with Keith. Please tell Coran I will be there as soon as I can. When you’re done with that please try to call Shiro, his contact information is in there. Keith said he was working but I really feel he needs to be here.” Veronica nodded then headed off to relay the message to Dr. Smythe and make the phone call to Shiro. 

Keith had been quiet for so long Allura thought he may have fallen asleep, but he shifted slightly and pulled away. Allura took the opportunity to pull a chair next to Keith’s. He looked so lost as she handed him a small cup of water from the water dispenser in her office. He took a small sip then tilted his head and leveled a gaze at Allura with a look she couldn’t place. 

He fidgeted with the cup in his hands and took another small sip and spoke, “How do you do it?”

Allura wasn’t expecting the question, but it was one she was used to answering. She was asked the same thing by so many people and she knew what exactly it was that Keith was asking. How do you deal with people dying? How do you keep going when you know there won’t be a cure for some people? How do you find the strength to be so positive when some days all you’re surrounded with is death? How do you do it?

She gripped one of Keith’s hands, “When I first started down this career choice, I didn’t do very well at all. I hated every part of this job. To put it bluntly, I _didn’t_ do it.”

Keith nodded listening to her explanation, not interrupting, but waiting for her to continue. Allura sighed, “I interned for a month straight and in that first month every single one of my 57 patients did not make it.  I can tell you to this day every one of their names, every symptom, and every course of action.  I can tell you today that nothing I did all of those years ago would have changed any of those outcomes. But I took every one of those deaths so personal.  I took them as my own failures, that surely it was something I did that caused them to die.  I wanted to quit.”

Keith sat for a moment before asking, “Why didn’t you? What made you stay?”

Allura smiled, “On my 35th day of working, there was a horrible accident involving some children on a bus. The bus driver tried to beat a train and needless to say the train won.  I lost everything in my gut multiple times that day.  But there was this young girl about 13 years old on one of the stretchers. She was terrified, she couldn’t feel her legs, she was covered in blood and in a lot of pain, her parents couldn’t be contacted and all she wanted was someone to stay with her.  I was at my wits end and about to walk out and just quit when I walked by and for some reason I made eye contact with her.  She begged me to just sit with her, nothing else so I did. “

Keith watched Allura tell her story, her gaze far away as if she was transported back to that moment in time. She continued speaking, “She asked me if I knew what was wrong with her.  I actually broke one of the biggest rules of working in a hospital and that’s showing weakness to a patient, letting them see you sweat so to speak.  I confessed that I felt like I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t know what was wrong with her or what was going to happen.  I even told her I wasn’t sure if she was going to live. She actually laughed at me.  I mean this 13 year old girl was scared out of her mind and here I am telling her I didn’t know anything much less if she was going to live or die.  But she squeezed my hand and thanked me for being honest.  I stayed with her until she was taken into surgery.  Needless to say I forgot about quitting while I sat with her.  I didn’t see her again until 3 weeks later.  I found out she had broken her neck and her spine and the doctors didn’t expect her to survive the surgery much less walk again.  But when I saw her she had a nurse on one side of her and her mother on the other side and she was pushing a walker down the hall.  She remembered me and told her mother that I was the one that held her hand while she was scared.  Her mom hugged me so tight and cried as she thanked me over and over for just being there for her daughter when she couldn’t.  At the time, I felt as if her thanks was misplaced.  I wasn’t involved in the surgery; I wasn’t the EMT that pulled her from the wreckage, all I did was hold her hand. But I remembered how happy they both were when they saw me over something so simple and I remembered being happy that she lived.”

Allura sat up and rested a hand on Keith’s cheek, “As horrible as the bad days are, there are good days. There are days when a mom thanks you for holding her daughter’s hand, or a young girl learns to walk even when the doctors think she won’t even survive.  There are days when you see that same young girl, only she’s 10 years older with a child of her own and she asks for you because she trusts you to treat her child’s broken arm.  Those are the reasons why I am able to do what I do.”

Keith took a shuddering breath, “She was only 7 years old.”

Allura nodded, “I know.”

He blinked fast. His voice came out as a harsh whisper, “It’s not fair.”

Allura shook her head, “No it really isn’t.”

The pair sat in silence until there was a soft knock at the door. Veronica opened the door and closed it gently behind her. She handed Allura her phone back. “I tried calling Shiro several times but he didn’t answer. I didn’t know what else to do so I called mama. Lance was at the coffee shop when she answered so he came. He’s actually here and can take Keith home. He said he would stay with him until Shiro gets there.”

Allura let out a deep sigh, “I think that will be ok. If Shiro calls back I can at least tell him what’s going on. I have to get with Coran now; will you be ok with Keith?”

Veronica nodded “We’ll be fine.”

Veronica grabbed Keith’s crutches and helped him stand up. His voice wavered as he spoke, “I told her Shiro was at work. He’s not supposed to have his phone on him so he usually doesn’t answer.”

Veronica waited while Keith adjusted his grip on his crutches, “well that’s ok. I was able to get in touch with Lance.  I asked if he could bring you home instead. I hope that’s ok?”

Keith nodded. Even if he was uncomfortable with so many people seeing him in such a vulnerable state he didn’t have the energy to fight it.

Lance was waiting outside the door, leaning against the wall with his hands stuffed in the pocket of his jeans. He frowned as Keith came out the door and tilted his head, “You ok man?”

Keith nodded, “Yeah.”

The pair made their way to the parking garage where Lance had parked. Keith sighed, “You didn’t have to do this. I could have taken the bus home.”

Lance shrugged, “It’s no big deal. It got me out of working.” Keith grimaced, “Sorry. I know your parents’ need your help.”

“Don’t worry about it. When Veronica told mama what happened she sent me to the house for some leftovers from yesterday. You’ve got empanadas, quesadillas, fried chicken, and some fresh fruit and vegetables from the garden; I mean it’s enough food to feed you and Shiro for a month.”

Keith stared, “Oh my god! You didn’t have to bring all that food!”

Lance grinned, “Well, you can just tell my mama you don’t want it.”

Keith flinched. He had met both of Lance’s parents and his mama was not a lady to be messed with. Lance was playing dirty with that comment and he knew it, “yeah, ok whatever.”

Lance smirked knowing he won that round. There were several minutes of silence when Keith spoke up again, “Thanks for this by the way. I don’t mean to be such a bother.”

Lance stopped and put a hand on Keith’s shoulder, stopping him from going any further, “Hey, this isn’t a bother. _You_ are not a bother.  I would be more worried if you hadn’t gotten upset over what happened.  It’s normal to feel things like that.”

Keith gritted his teeth, “I know that. It’s not about the feelings. I mean yeah they suck but I don’t need a babysitter because of them.”

Lance cocked an eyebrow, “seriously dude? You think I’m a glorified babysitter for you? You’re my friend. It’s what any friend would do.”

Keith let out a puff of air that blew his bangs from his face momentarily, “I mean obviously you’re not my babysitter. Shiro would never pay you anyway.”

Lance laughed as he watched Keith’s lips twitch into a half-hearted attempt at a smile, “There’s the sarcastic mullet!”

Keith stumbled and glared at Lance, “I do not have a mullet!”

Lance grinned, “Oh, you most definitely do. What is even going on with this tragic hair anyway?” Keith shifted and poked at Lance with one of his crutches, “I have been in a hospital for the better part of 3 and ½ months. Haircuts were not the priority.  And it’s not a mullet. It’s just how my hair grows.”

Lance nodded and hummed at Keith, “I’ll give you a pass due to extenuating circumstances, but it’s still a mullet.”

Once the pair made it to the small apartment that Keith and Shiro now shared until Keith was no longer restricted from driving, Keith spoke again, “Seriously Lance, you don’t have to stay until Shiro comes home. I probably won’t be much company anyway.”

Lance glared at Keith as he left to grab some blankets and a pillow from Keith’s room. “I’m not expecting 5-star hosting etiquette Keith.” He pointed to the make-shift bed on the worn-out sofa, “Lie down and rest.”

Keith sighed, “Really? You’re gonna make me nap?”

Lance snatched Keith’s crutches and pushed him to sit down, “I don’t care if you nap or stare at the ceiling. You’ve had a long day and you just need to rest.”

There was no heat in Lance’s words so Keith stuck his tongue out but did what Lance told him, “Yes mom.”

Lance grinned and threw a blanket completely over Keith’s head, “cheeky little brat.”

Twenty minutes later Keith was fast asleep while Lance sat on the floor leaning against the front of the sofa playing a game on his phone. He looked up as he heard a key in the door and Shiro entered.  Lance stood up as he came over to check on Keith, “He’s been asleep for about 20 minutes.”

Shiro ran a hand through his hair, “thanks for staying with him.”

Lance shrugged, “its fine.”

Shiro clapped a hand to Lance’s shoulder, “Thanks anyway. Do you want to stay for supper?”

Lance shook his head, “Nah. I gotta get back to the coffee shop. Also, fair warning; mama made me bring a bunch of leftovers when Ronnie told her how upset Keith was.”

Shiro laughed, “Tell her thank you and that we appreciate it very much.”

Lance waved as he left the apartment.

Over the next couple of days Keith contemplated a lot of what Allura had told him. He also thought about the direction his life had taken after his parents’ died. He was still angry and bitter that they were gone. He was angry that his real mom had left him with no explanation, or that his real dad hadn’t stuck around either.  He thought about his reasons for not going to college and what that meant for his future.  He also thought long and hard about the message he had received on his phone just this morning.

**Unknown 9:49am:** Keith, this is Sarah. I hope it’s ok that I have your number. I asked Dr. Smythe for your contact information. I am sorry if I’m overstepping by having your number. Toby and I thought you might want to know that Amie’s services will be Thursday at Sacred Heart church at 11. 

Keith sighed as he read the message for the fifth time. He wasn’t sure how to feel about this development.  He wanted to go, but the only funerals he had ever been to were for his parents’ and that had not gone well.  He wasn’t sure if he wanted to go through that sort of emotional upheaval ever again. He slammed his phone on his bed and threw an arm over his eyes. He felt the bed dip and peeked under his arm to see Shiro watching him.

“You ok baby brother?”

Keith groaned, “I’m fine.”

Shiro frowned, “You sure? You’ve been pretty quiet the past few days.”

Keith swung his legs off the bed and turned so he sat side by side with Shiro, “I’ve had a lot to think about.”

Shiro didn’t say anything; just put an arm around Keith.

Keith grabbed his phone and handed it to Shiro so he could read the message from Sarah.

Shiro handed the phone back, “are you going?”

Keith shrugged, “I don’t know. I mean, part of me wants to. I feel as if I should. But another part of me feels it’s not right.  I didn’t know her that well, and I shouldn’t ….. I just feel like I would be invading something private, something not meant for someone who isn’t family.”

Shiro pulled Keith closer to his side, “look, if Sarah and Toby are reaching out to you then I’m sure it’s more than ok. Just think about it.  If you don’t want to go alone I will go with you.”

Keith looked up at Shiro, “you would do that for me?” Shiro ruffled Keith’s hair, “Don’t you know by now that I would do anything for you baby brother?”

Keith grinned and leaned into Shiro’s embrace, “yeah, I do.”

Shiro pressed a kiss to Keith’s forehead and left.

Keith flopped back down on his bed and stared at his phone again. With a deep sigh he responded to Sarah.

**Keith 12:01pm:** Sarah, thank you for sending me the date and time for Amie’s services. It means a lot to me that you and Toby want me there. 

Thursday morning came too fast for Keith. He stared at his reflection in the mirror after straightening his tie for the 3rd time.  He knew his tie was perfectly straight but he was delaying the inevitable. He frowned at his feet.  He was only able to wear one of his good shoes, his left foot no longer in a cast but he was forced to wear a walking boot.  It made walking a lot easier because it meant he didn’t need crutches. It wasn’t until there was a soft knock on his door that he moved. He opened his door to see Shiro dressed similarly in suit and tie, and a new prosthetic for his right arm, waiting patiently.  Without a word the brothers left the apartment and headed to the small church for what was sure to be a heartbreaking service.  Keith sat in Shiro’s beat up truck and looked over to his brother, his voice barely a whisper, “thanks for coming with me.”

Shiro glanced back, “anytime.”

Once inside the church, Keith was spotted immediately by Sarah who pulled him into a crushing hug. After he introduced Shiro she pulled him into a hug as well.  Keith had to swallow hard as Sarah handed him something. When he looked down he saw it was a picture of Amie that had apparently been taken before she had gotten so sick.  She had long brown hair and a smile that could have lit up the darkest room.  Keith felt him smiling at the picture despite the heaviness in his gut.  He tucked the picture in his jacket pocket and hugged Sarah again.

Keith almost made it through the entire services without breaking down. He was standing next to Shiro at the cemetery several rows behind Amie’s parents.  It was a beautiful day, clear skies and no clouds.  He listened as the priest talked about the pure love of a child, of the afterlife, and of the promise of seeing Amie again in Heaven.  Keith had heard most of the same thing at his parents’ funeral and he would have been ok if it hadn’t been for a young girl about 15 or 16 years old. She was Amie’s older sister and she came forward to sing Amie’s favorite song.  It was the song that did Keith in.  He wasn’t able to hold his composure when she started singing the song he remembered from his childhood.  It was a simple song about rainbows and bluebirds and a world where everything was better somewhere over that rainbow.

After the services, Keith felt drained. He sat in Shiro’s truck for several long minutes after the engine had been shut off.  He rested his head against the window and sat there just trying to gather his emotions.  Shiro had a put a hand on his shoulder shaking Keith out of his reverie.  “You coming up?”

Keith sighed and gave a small nod. He opened the door and followed Shiro into the building. Shiro waited for Keith to catch up before draping an arm around his brother’s shoulder. He had been taking advantage of Keith’s sudden change of heart at accepting affection and did it as often as he could, “I should warn you Allura texted me and your apartment has been invaded.”

Keith raised his eyebrows and waited for Shiro to elaborate.

“Apparently our friends have taken it upon themselves to make sure you don’t wallow in your room for the rest of the day, or starve yourself. I am told in good faith that Hunk has taken over cooking duty and there may or may not be video games or card games courtesy of Lance. Matt is also visiting for a few days.  I think he said his little sister is starting college in August and wants to tour one of the local colleges.”

Keith tried to smile. He really did want to just hide in his room buried under a pile of blankets and forget what it was like to feel anything. Instead he replied, “That’s ok.  The company will probably do us both some good.”

As Keith followed Shiro into their apartment he was greeted by a sight that made his heart ache for something he had long forgotten. Their friends did in fact include Hunk at the oven, several pots of something that smelled heavenly and what looked like homemade bread and cookies spread out over the sparse counter area.  Veronica and Allura was side by side cutting up vegetables for a salad. Shiro’s friend Matt, who he had met during his time in Afghanistan after college, was talking to Lance and a girl who looked like a younger version of Matt.  They seemed to be rather loudly discussing something involving social media.  When the door closed both Allura and Veronica turned to face the pair that walked in. Allura stepped back just enough to give Shiro a quick peck on the cheek and Veronica whistled loudly.

“Damn Keith. It’s a shame you’re the same age as Lance, or I would be all over you. You clean up quite nicely.”

Keith smirked, “Sorry Veronica. Even if you were closer to my age you’re not exactly my type.”

Veronica sighed dramatically, “Damn I guess I’m destined to be single forever.” Allura glanced over her shoulder while slicing some cucumbers, “so what exactly is your type Keith?”

Slipping off his suit jacket and loosening his tie Keith shrugged, “probably the classic tall dark and handsome type.”

At that moment Lance walked into the kitchen slinging an arm around Veronica and popped a carrot in his mouth, “someone called for tall, dark and handsome? Well here I am!”

Veronica nudged him in the side, “tall and dark maybe, but the verdict is still out on handsome.”

Lance grinned, “Yea but like Meatloaf said, two out of three ain’t bad.”

Allura pushed Lance away from the vegetables and continued slicing more cucumbers, “Yes but we were also talking about why Veronica wasn’t Keith’s type, not about why you’re tall and dark, but not handsome.”

Keith chuckled, “Yes and unlike Meatloaf I won’t settle for two out of three. I’m an all or nothing kind of guy.”

Lance frowned, “So what does me being tall, dark and handsome have to do with Veronica not being Keith’s type?”

The miniature Matt look-alike squeezed her way into the already crowded kitchen, “I believe what Keith is trying to say is that Veronica doesn’t have a d…”

Matt slapped a hand over her mouth, “Don’t you dare finish that sentence Katie.”

Keith couldn’t even be bothered to be embarrassed. Instead he cocked a grin at the girl named Katie and offered a fist bump. He shot a pair of finger guns at her and headed off to his bedroom to change.

While in his bedroom, Keith pulled the picture of Amie from his jacket. He sat on his bed for a moment and took in the smiling girl in the picture. He could see the mischievousness underneath the sweet smile; the deceptive sweetness that allowed her to get away with corralling so many wheel chairs for their illegal races. He smiled fondly and put the picture in the corner of his dresser mirror. Keith came back minutes later dressed in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt still clunking around in the walking boot but feeling much more himself now that he was out of his suit. There were several conversations going on at once, but they flowed seamlessly in and around the occupants. Lance was teasing Hunk about a girl named Shay. Shiro was asking Katie about applying to college and choice of career. Matt, Veronica, and Allura were debating the finer aspects of 80’s music. 

There was a lull in conversation between Shiro and Katie so Keith took the opportunity to properly introduce himself. Katie grinned, “I’m Katie, Matt’s sister, but you can call me Pidge.”

Keith returned her grin, “nice to officially meet you. Shiro said you want to tour the University of Oklahoma while you’re here.”

Pidge nodded, “I’m looking into a good university for Veterinary Medicine. I’ve got Texas A&M and LSU on the list as well.  LSU seems like it might be end game either way with their Veterinary School right there on campus.  No matter what I choose I may end up there regardless.”

Keith raised an eyebrow, “veterinarian, huh. That’s ambitious.”

Pidge frowned, “what’s that supposed to mean?”

Keith raised his hands, “hey, I’m not being sarcastic; I really think it’s cool. I think you’ve got to be pretty damn smart to remember all that shit. I mean a regular doctor only has to learn anatomy for humans.  You would have to learn anatomy on tons of animals.  Like for instance, cows have four stomachs. The gestation period for pregnant cats is nine weeks, where as an elephant goes for 22 months.  Snakes don’t have bones, but they can unhinge their jaw to swallow a large rodent. And a hippopotamus can live…” Pidge finished at the same time as Keith, “For up to 45 years!”

Keith stared in shock, “Oh my god! You are my new best friend!”

Lance gasped, “Hey! I thought I was your best friend.” Keith shook his head, “Nope, Hunk is your best friend.”

Hunk piped up from somewhere in the kitchen, “Yea Lance, what gives? I thought I was your best friend. When was I demoted?”

Lance hugged Hunk, “Nah buddy. You will always be my best friend. Mullet is just a different level of friend. You know, like the kind of friend I can count on to dare me to freeze my underwear for 24 hours and convince me its ok to wear them immediately. You are the other kind of friend who tells me how dumb Keith and I are being and we do it anyway.”

After that pronouncement, Lance walked over to join the conversation between Keith and Pidge, “Dude, where did you learn this stuff? Are you just a useless fountain of knowledge?”

Shiro chimed in from the small living room, “Keith had aspirations to become a veterinarian himself at one point.”

Pidge grinned, “So what happened?”

Keith sighed, “Life happened.”

The conversation switched to something a little more light-hearted and once the food was ready everyone spread out with plates and drinks balanced on laps, placed randomly on the worn out coffee table, and everyone seated on either the floor or random furniture. Keith was sitting next to Lance and glaring at him every time he tried to stab a cherry tomato from his salad. Keith finally snapped as he moved his plate out of reach for what felt like the tenth time, “Go get your own damn tomatoes Lance!”

Hunk leaned over to flick at Lance’s forehead, “get used to it Keith. If there’s a tomato nearby Lance will attack.” As if to prove this point, Lance leaned over to stab at Keith’s plate again. This time, Keith retaliated by stabbing at Lance’s hand with his fork. “Leave my food alone McClain!”

Lance just barely managed to move his hand in time, “Rude, Mullet!”

Shiro chuckled, “Keith will break him of that habit. No one messes with Keith’s food.”

As the day wore on, Keith found himself going through bouts of melancholy thinking about Amie. He still felt hollow at times, but with the friendly chatter and good food the mood never lasted very long.  As everyone left Keith looked at Shiro, “was this really Allura’s idea, or did you have a hand in this?”

Shiro gave a sheepish grin, “we may have been co-conspirators in keeping your spirits up.”

Keith punched Shiro’s arm, “jerk.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've gotten this far let me know what you think. I appreciate all comments. 
> 
> Songs that inspired this chapter:  
> 1\. Fix You by Cold Play  
> 2\. Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Katharine McPhee


	5. Here Comes the Sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some warnings for a few bad decisions resulting in underage drinking, mentions of vomiting (but nothing too detailed), and some emotional distress and heart-warming Broganes!

_Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting_

_Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear_

_Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,_

_And I say it's all right_

_Here Comes the Sun by: The Beatles_

 

 

 

Almost a month later Keith waited until Shiro left for work before he called in sick. Instead of going to work he headed down to the hospital to talk to Dr. Smythe.  The past few weeks had left Keith feeling as if something was missing in his life and he finally felt as if he had a bit of a grip on how to fix it. He just wasn’t sure if he would be able to do what he wanted but he needed someone to talk to and Dr. Smythe for all his eccentricities was the obvious choice for Keith’s plan. 

When Keith left it was a cold March morning with the threat of snow in the air. He pulled his jacket closer as he trudged to his car. His motorcycle was in a storage unit, a mangled mess of red metal. He hadn’t been able to bring himself to fix his motorcycle since the accident, the one and only time he saw his motorcycle after the accident gave him nightmares for days.  It was twisted mess of metal and broken pieces, unrecognizable as anything except Keith would recognize that deep red color of his bike anywhere.  So instead he found a used Honda Civic at a good price. He got in and turned the heat all the way up before making his way to the hospital.  As he drove he let his thoughts drift. The closer he got to the hospital, the more he thought he had truly lost his mind.

Keith parked and made his way inside and headed to the 6th floor.  He scanned the hallways hoping to avoid Allura and Veronica. He wasn’t necessarily trying to hide, but he didn’t want to have to explain what he was doing until he was absolutely sure this was what he wanted.  One thing was for sure, whether this was the path he was going to take or not, a lot sure had changed in the past 4 months since the accident.

Several hours later, Keith left with a sense of hope and a paper with a list of websites and books to help him get started. He realized it was something he hadn’t felt in a long time.  In fact, he hadn’t felt so sure of something since the day he was told he was being adopted.  When the enormity of that emotion hit he was glad he had already made it to his car because he felt as if he would pass out. He leaned forward against his steering wheel and took a deep breath.  His hands were shaking and he was terrified, but he had a plan and he was going to make sure it worked.

Keith glanced down at the time. He still had 4 hours left before he usually got off of work. Without thinking he turned at a red light near his apartment and several blocks down parked his car.  He got out and walked past the small church and through the gate to the cemetery. It was an impulse decision that left his head reeling. He hadn’t been here in a few years.  But today had been a lot of impulse decisions and even with the biting cold around him, he felt this was something he needed as well. 

He found the pair of headstones easily enough and sat on a cold cement bench nearby. He didn’t say anything but for the first time in a long time he let himself feel something other than anger.  He tilted his head up and closed his eyes as the tears fell.  He let himself be drawn back to that moment 6 years ago.  As he sat there he thought back on everything that had happened since.  Shiro had given up so much to keep Keith out of the foster system again.  He had been 18 at the time. Almost two years younger than Keith was now. He stepped up to take care of Keith without really knowing how to take care of himself.  He had always put Keith first, before his education, his career, before his relationship with Adam, before himself even.  And in return Keith had been a little shit. He’d barely graduated high school.  He went through a period of some questionably promiscuous behavior that Keith was not proud of, and he hoped to god Shiro never found out about that. There had even been times when Keith had been close to being arrested.  He pushed his limits and Shiro’s.  But his brother never gave up on him.  Now, he finally decided, he was going to pay Shiro back for everything he had done for him.  He was going to show his brother just how much he appreciated everything he had given up for Keith.

When he finally opened his eyes, he was surprised to see Lance sitting next to him. He never even heard him walk up, so lost in his thoughts.

To his credit, Lance didn’t even speak. Knowing Lance like he did, Keith knew this was a miracle in itself.  He nodded to the headstones, “Those are my parents. They adopted me when no one else wanted me.”

Keith had never told anyone about his parents. The only one he talked about it with was Shiro.  The really sad part was that Keith never really had friends to talk to about anything, but sitting here now as the snow finally began to fall, he told Lance.  He told him about never knowing his real mom, how his dad left him at the age of five.  He told him about being in foster care, the beatings, and the verbal abuse, being starved, locked in closets, being burned with cigarettes.  He told him how he came to live with Josh and Anna, the nightmares, scared it wasn’t real, how they wanted to and did adopt him.  He told Lance about the day they died, and about the day he and Shiro had been hit by a drunk driver. He told it all, well almost all.  He didn’t even question if he should, because sitting here with Lance, his first real friend, he knew it just felt right. 

Lance sat there listening to every word. He didn’t judge Keith or offer false sympathy and when the emotions became too much Lance just rested a hand on Keith’s shoulder offering silent support until Keith could get his emotions under control again.  The thing about Lance was he may have talked a lot, but he never tried to pretend to understand a situation he had never been in himself.  He knew better than to tell Keith he understood, because he really didn’t.  Both of his parents were still alive. He wasn’t adopted. He never had the shit life in foster homes that Keith had.  But he knew how to listen, and so that’s what he did and Keith was grateful.

Finally, after several minutes of silence Lance stood up and waited for Keith to follow suit. He slung an arm over Keith’s shoulder and led him to a small coffee shop not too far from the church. “I bet I could convince mama to make us some hot chocolate.”

Keith looked at Lance in confusion, “She owns a coffee shop, why would she make us hot chocolate?”

Lance shrugged, “She won’t necessarily do it for me, but as soon as I tell her you don’t drink coffee but it’s so cold and you probably prefer hot chocolate she would have a cup in your hands before you could blink twice. It’s really a shame too. I mean I’m the youngest and I can get away with anything, but she likes you more than she likes me, so you’ll get hot chocolate.”

Keith snorted, “whatever you say Lance.”

Truth be told, Keith really didn’t like coffee. He walked next to Lance in silence trying to remember when he had ever told him that he didn’t drink coffee. But he was beyond cold and would have taken a gallon of coffee if it eased the chill in his bones. But he sat in a booth listening to Lance’s mama scold them both for being out in the snow, a steaming cup of hot chocolate warming his hands, and it was the best thing he had ever tasted.

Mrs. McClain, or Rosa, as she insisted, took both of their jackets and continued to nag Lance as he grabbed his bag with his school books from behind the counter. Just before he sat down he leaned over and kissed his mom on the cheek, “Yes mama. We won’t do it again.”

Keith ducked his head and laughed. It was no wonder Lance was so spoiled if he could stop an angry tirade just by kissing his mom and batting those big blue eyes at her.  His laughing hadn’t gone unnoticed and he was swatted with the towel Rosa had been holding.  It caught him so off guard that he looked up in surprise. Rosa was glaring at him, “you too mister.” But as she walked away, Keith saw her give him a wink.

Lance laughed, “Just be glad you got the towel and not the shoe.”

Keith watched Rosa for a few minutes before looking back at Lance, “What’s with the shoe? Veronica mentioned it once before.”

Lance shook his head, “La Chancla!”

Lance shuddered and continued. “If she comes at you with a shoe, all I can say is pray. You won’t outrun her and you won’t talk your way out of it. The best and probably the worst thing to do is to just take it like a man.”

The pair sat quietly for a few minutes, Keith sipping on his hot chocolate and thawing out from sitting in the cold and Lance working on his homework. Keith had learned Lance was going to college studying for a double major in astrophysics and marine biology.  Lance had been the opposite of Keith in school. He studied hard to gain scholarships, instead of only going a half day like the other seniors, Lance went the whole day to earn extra credits, he applied for all of the AP courses in high school, and finished fifth in his class. With so many kids he knew his parents couldn’t afford to pay for college and he didn’t want to owe thousands of dollars in student loans.  For as much as Lance goofed off, his school work was his priority. He paid for tutors when he felt his grades slipping, he helped his parents at the coffee shop, and he babysat his nieces and nephews every chance he could.  He was also looking to work part-time at the local aquarium as part of his internship for marine biology. He saved every penny he could and put it towards his college tuition without a thought. Lance had a fierce determination to succeed that Keith couldn’t help but admire and it showed.  Lance was currently maintaining a perfect 4.0 GPA.  It was also another part of the reason Keith decided to change his life. If someone like Lance could work so hard to achieve his goals then there was no reason Keith couldn’t do the same.

Keith hadn’t realized he was daydreaming until a balled up piece of paper hit his face, “You ok there mullet?”

Keith frowned and threw the paper back at Lance, “It’s not a mullet, and I’m getting it cut next week jerk.”

Lance grinned, “Whatever you say.”

Keith made sure no one was watching and flipped Lance the bird, “What do you want anyway?”

With a shrug Lance started picking up his books, “You seemed to be lost in thought. Just making sure you were ok. You unloaded a lot earlier.”

Keith sighed, blowing his bangs from his face, “sorry about that. I shouldn’t have given away the plot to my upcoming autobiography out in stores next month.”

Lance laughed, “Dude! Seriously man, it’s no big deal.”

Keith turned the coffee cup around in his hands several times, “How did you know I was out there anyway?”

Lance nodded towards the back, “Mama saw you walk in front the store and when you didn’t come back after about twenty minutes she sent me to go check on you.”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to make anyone worry.  I just had some time to kill and,” Keith took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a minute, “and I haven’t been in a while. I needed to be there today.”

Lance nodded, “You skipped work?”

“No. Well, yea I guess. I called in and used a sick day. I had some other things to take care of and it was a bit of an impulse decision.  Shiro doesn’t even know.  I still have a lot of things I’m not sure of but I’ll tell Shiro when the time is right.”

Lance watched Keith as he pulled at the sleeves of his shirt, “Nothing illegal right?”

“Why?” Keith asked, “You offering to help hide the bodies?”

Lance pointed a finger at Keith, “My limit is ten.”

Keith rubbed his chin, pretending to think it over, “Fine, no more than ten bodies, but you have to make up the difference with two illegal drug runs, and one bank heist. And you can’t tell Shiro, he’ll want a cut of the money.”

Lance reached out a hand waiting for Keith to shake, “You got yourself a deal.”

Keith laughed as he shook Lance’s hand then looked down at his phone, “Damn, I didn’t realize it was so late. I gotta head home.”

Lance finished packing his books, “Ok, just hold on a minute and I’ll go grab your jacket from the back.”

Minutes later Keith sighed as he took his jacket from Lance. “I know I keep saying this, but thank you for listening to all that crap earlier. I’m sorry if it was bit too much.”

“No man, you’re good. Besides,” Lance continued, “It’s what friends do for one another. And like I’ve said before, we’re friends. I’m always here for you if you need someone to talk to, or just someone to listen while you say whatever you need to say.”

Keith shifted looking at his feet then looked up with a shy smile, “That really means a lot to me.”

Lance shot him a pair of finger guns and a wink, “anytime mullet!”

Three days later, Keith’s crappy immune system betrayed him and he was laid up in bed with the flu.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Keith’s days finally began to settle into a normal routine once again. He finally ditched his temporary yet extremely boring office job as soon as he was able to work full time at the mechanic shop again.  It was far from glamorous, but Keith loved the familiar work.  He also worked part time with Dr. Smythe or Coran as he insisted Keith call him since they were working together now.  Mostly, Keith took care of filing paper work or some other mundane task like scheduling various activities for the kids staying long-term.  Keith didn’t mind the odd hours and was glad for the chance to have an excuse to continue visiting the other kids.  He also got to know most if not all of the parents. Most of them stayed often, especially weekends when work was the furthest from their minds. When he wasn’t working, Keith poured over the books that Coran suggested. He scoured the websites for any information to help in his plans.

Pidge had become an invaluable ally in Keith’s secret plans and also gave him an abundance of websites and books to help him along. She decided to enroll in summer classes at the University of Oklahoma instead of waiting for the fall semester and her and Keith became close friends.  Their friendship was based on sarcasm and conspiracy theories.  Shiro was back to full time in the military and living on his own again so Keith offered to let Pidge stay in Shiro’s old room if the dorms didn’t work out for her.  Shiro wasn’t able to be involved with combat because of his prosthetic arm but he started training and taking psychology courses to help other amputees in the military deal with losing their limbs, and he was working a lot closer with Matt who was specializing in prosthetics that were more lifelike. Shiro was his ‘test-dummy’ so to speak and Shiro’s prosthetic had gone through several rounds of testing, improvements, and lots of trial and errors but Shiro took it all in stride and used Matt’s work on his arm as part of his motivational speeches with wounded vets.  Keith and Allura also became closer because of her relationship with Shiro.  Allura and Veronica both took on the role of older sisters to Keith and felt it their mission to look after him while Shiro was away for conferences at other military out-posts.  Keith took their meddling in stride, they were women and he knew there was some ingrained instinct in them that made them feel the need to become mother hens around Keith. It definitely did not mean that he liked it or approved of their fussing, but he let them have at it occasionally, especially if it made them feel better.

Hunk, Keith and Lance had a friendship that was deep-rooted in shenanigans. Lance and Hunk had known each other for years before Keith joined their group, but due to Keith’s injuries and having Hunk as his physical therapist and their mutual friendship with Lance, it was like Keith was the missing piece.  If Hunk was the voice of reason when things got out of hand, then Keith was the catalyst to make those insanely bad decisions.  He was the spark that lit the fuse and Lance was the explosion.  It didn’t help that Hunk’s new girlfriend Shay liked to egg the boys on.  For as sweet and quiet as she seemed, Shay was the added sparkle to Keith’s and Lance’s bad ideas.  On the rare occasion that Pidge was able to join in; she added a level of expert stealth and undercover discreetness to their hi-jinx.

One night, just before Pidge was scheduled to start summer school, everyone minus Shiro was able to enjoy a night out. Most nights were only two or three of the members of the group able to hang out, but on the rare nights they were all off together it was pure chaos.  Allura had found a new night club that just opened up in Oklahoma City and everyone was eager to check it out.  It was on this particular night that everyone learned that extremely tipsy Keith becomes country Keith. Again, Allura was partially to blame. She had called Shiro trying to find out the best way to help Keith relax and have a fun night out. Shiro might have let it slip that when Keith had just enough to drink he became a karaoke king straight from the heart of Texas.  And part of Allura’s master plan involving said night club was coincidentally a karaoke club as well. 

Hunk and Lance immediately paired up for a rousing rendition of “I Got You Babe” by Sonny and Cher, and “Don’t Go Breakin’ My Heart” by Elton John and Kiki Dee. Allura, Veronica, Pidge, and Shay sang “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor.  Keith stoically sat out the first few rounds; just content to watch his friends goof off, but the more alcohol he consumed he couldn’t help but feel the itch to join in.  He knew he could sing, but he was going for the shock factor tonight.  When his name was called he let instinct take over. 

As Keith walked up on stage he grinned and leaned over to a group of girls sitting close by. Mic in hand he winked at a pretty blonde wearing a cowboy hat and with a thick southern drawl that would make any Texan proud he asked, “Hey darlin’ can I borrow that hat?”

Pretty blonde giggled and handed Keith her hat. She sat back down giggling with her friends and the group of girls erupted into shrieks when Keith shot finger guns and a wink at them. Even in his black jeans and black t-shirt, he looked the part of cowboy as he placed the hat on his head and waited for the song to start. At another table Allura placed two fingers in her mouth and let loose a loud whistle. Matt, Pidge and Lance were letting loose a series of cat calls. Veronica, Hunk and Shay were screaming for Keith like he was a rock god.  When the song started, Keith’s voice dropped into a deep, rich baritone. He maintained his drawl and shot a wink at his friends as he started to sing:  

               

_Well excuse me, but I think you’ve got my chair,_

__No that one’s not taken, I don’t mind if you sit here,_ _

___I’ll be glad to share._ _ _

 

Keith’s performance had the entire club on their feet. The group of girls near the front and the table where Keith’s friends were seated were the loudest of all. The song may have been slow, but the strong drinks left Keith feeling more confident than normal. He jumped off the stage interacting with everyone as he sang.  He tilted the cowboy hat on his head and winked at girls; he pulled Pidge into a spin and a dip, and even landed a kiss on Hunk’s cheek which had everyone in tears.  But the highlight of Keith’s performance was when he walked by Lance as he was singing, _“yea I like this song too, it reminds me of you and me baby do you think there’s a chance,”_ and without missing a beat slapped Lance’s ass and squeezed.  Lance turned a furious shade of purple that had Veronica and Allura holding each other up as they laughed.  Allura took a snapchat video and sent it to Shiro with the caption “Baby brother is a FLIRT!”

 When the song was over Keith handed back the hat with another wink and made his way back. He was greeted by Lance slinging an arm around him and a mega-watt smile, “Keith, my man! What the hell was that? Who knew you could sing like that?”

Keith blushed, a combination of the alcohol and Lance’s praises heating his cheeks. He was saved from answering Lance when Allura and Veronica tackled him in a hug. Pidge was nearby laughing wildly, “I have never been more proud of anyone. This is blackmail material for years!”

Keith whipped his head around to glare at Pidge, “Ya’ll recorded that?”

Everyone broke out in giggles at Keith. Apparently alcohol also brought out Keith’s Texan drawl and it was amazing. Pidge grinned at Keith, “I recorded nothing. But I may have scored a copy of a recording from an unnamed source at this table.”

Before Keith could work out the implications of that statement Veronica nudged him in the side, “So what is with that accent buddy?”

Keith rolled his eyes, “My dad was from Texas. I lived there until I was seven, almost eight.”

Shay, who wasn’t as familiar with Keith’s history asked, “You and Shiro are from Texas?”

Everyone at the table stilled for a minute, unsure of how the question would affect Keith, but he took it in stride, “My real dad is from Texas. Mine and Shiro’s adopted parents were from here.”

At that particular moment Allura started giggling. Everyone turned to stare at her wondering what part of that conversation could have made her laugh. Instead she waved her phone at everyone, “Shiro says if we give Keith a few more drinks he’ll start teaching us some line dances!”

Lance, Veronica, Matt and Shay gave loud whoops of excitement and Pidge ran off to the bar chanting, “Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots!”

Keith could only sigh and drawl out one word, “Y’ALL!”

There were shots, and even more singing. The majority of the songs were up-beat pop and old school eighties, but every time Keith got up to sing it was a country song. And the more Keith drank and sang, the flirtier he became. And he flirted with everyone.  During his version of “Friends in Low Places” Keith did a round of shots with a group of frat boys, he winked at girls, and he danced with a group of older women celebrating a friend’s promotion. The pretty blonde was especially enamored and even went so far as to let Keith keep her cowboy hat.  To Lance’s confusion this seemed to set Pidge off into hysterics. By the end of the night everyone was singing country music and true to Shiro’s prediction when the last song of the night was sang, Keith was teaching everyone how to line dance to “Boot Scootin’ Boogie.”

Somewhere between the last song of the night and the ride home, Keith’s alcohol consumption caught up to him. His head pounded and Veronica had to pull over several times to let him release the contents of his stomach.  He was so far gone he could barely stand on his own.  Instead of leaving Keith alone, Veronica helped Lance bring him inside to their parents’ house.  Both of their parents were still awake when Veronica and Lance walked in with a barely conscious Keith between them.  Rosa glared at her two kids and immediately went straight to Keith removing the gifted cowboy hat and wiping the sweat away from his forehead.

“What have you two idiots done to this poor boy?”

Veronica sighed, “We didn’t do anything mama. Keith had too much to drink and we didn’t want him alone in his apartment.”

Rosa looked between Veronica and Lance, “You were out drinking? Veronica! Your brother and Keith are not old enough, you know better than this.”

Lance shook his head, “No mama! We went with Dr. Allura to sing karaoke. Keith was drinking though.”

Veronica and Lance both shared a look feeling bad for throwing Keith under the bus alone, but this was the only way to save all of their asses.

Lance’s dad, Joseph, walked up behind Rosa. He wasn’t as strict as their mom and they could usually get away with more if their dad’s soft-heartedness could be taken advantage of. He studied his oldest and youngest child, “And why was Keith drinking tonight? Isn’t he a bit young to be drinking? Aren’t all of you a bit young to be drinking?”

“Papa,” Lance softened his voice, “Keith has been having a rough time since that little girl Amie from the hospital died. We only wanted to get him out for a few hours to have some fun.  We didn’t realize it would get so out of hand.”

Joseph sighed and patted Lance’s head, “you’re a good friend to him son.  Go get him upstairs and let us know if you need anything.”

The pair of siblings shuffled upstairs with Keith between them. Neither one let out a breath until they were safely in Lance’s room. Lance grinned at his sister, “God that was awful!”

Veronica let out a giggle, “I know! I just hope mama doesn’t give poor Keith an earful when he finally wakes up.”

The pair quieted down after that. Lance pulled back the covers on his bed and helped Veronica maneuver Keith into a comfortable position and take off his jacket and shoes. Once Keith was settled Lance gave Veronica a quick hug, “Thanks for the help. Be careful going home.”

Veronica nodded, “I’ll text you when I get there.”

Once his sister left, Lance went to the hall closet and pulled out an old air mattress and several blankets and pillows.  He also went to the bathroom for a glass of water, some aspirin, and the trash can.  He was just about to set up the air mattress when there was a knock on the door and his mom walked in.  “You aren’t going to make that poor boy sleep on that, are you?”

Lance shook his head, “No mama. I’m gonna sleep here. I just want to be close in case he gets sick during the night.  He’s already asleep and probably shouldn’t be moved.”

Rosa looked at Keith’s sleeping form, “You come get me or your father if you need help.”

Lance walked over and kissed his mom’s cheek, “yes mama. Goodnight.”

Rosa smiled at Lance and patted his cheek, “Your father is right, you’re a good boy.”

Lance felt as if he was just falling into a deep sleep when the sound of gagging startled him. He sat up trying to figure out his surroundings when the noise started up again.  He turned and saw Keith leaning precariously over the edge of the bed. Before he could fall completely off the bed, Lance grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled the trash can under his chin just as Keith released the contents of his stomach.  Lance sat there for several minutes, waiting to make sure Keith was done.  Just as he was about to fall asleep sitting up next to Keith he heard his door open. He looked up to see his mama walk in. She took Lance’s place next to Keith with a cool wash cloth to his face. Lance took that moment to take care of the trash can and have it ready in case there was a round two.

Lance sat down on the air mattress watching his mom as she gently wiped Keith’s face. She was pushing his hair back from his sweaty forehead as he leaned heavily on her shoulder, his heaving starting to calm down. Lance remembered sitting with Keith as he told him about his parents. He tried putting himself in Keith’s shoes, tried to imagine going through the horrors of horrible foster families, tried to imagine growing up from the age of thirteen and not having his mom and dad, or even his brothers and sisters. He had told his mom bits and pieces of Keith’s past, not wanting to divulge all of Keith’s personal information without his permission, and he wondered if his mom was feeling that same ache in her chest that Lance was feeling at this moment.  It was the sort of ache that left an empty sort of hole in his chest when he thought his friend could be home right now with no one to take care of him, even for something as foolish as a hangover.

Lance was pulled from his train of thought as he felt his mom brush her hand through his hair. He looked over to see Keith asleep once again and sighed. Rosa bent down to kiss her son’s head and just before she walked out the door Lance called out to her, “Mama?”

She turned around to look at Lance and he gave her a sad sort of smile, “I love you mama. Thanks for taking care of Keith.”

She seemed to understand his sadness because her own smile was just as sad, “I love you too Lance.”

When Keith woke up the next day it was an immense struggle. His eyes were crusted shut and his whole body ached. He was sweaty and his clothes were sticking to him. But his head, his damn head felt ready to explode if he tried to move and there was a funky taste in his mouth.  He tried to remain motionless; he tried so damn hard not to move, not to think about why his mouth tasted so gross, or why his stomach started rolling. He willed his brain to go empty and not think about the way he felt his insides lurch or how his mouth clenched shut as if doing so would stop the inevitable.  His brain did not stop thinking and as his stomach gave another violent lurch, he flung himself out of the bed and stumbled to the bathroom. 

Keith sunk down on his stomach and resting his head on the cold tile. His brain couldn’t even process where he was or how he knew where to find a bathroom. His only thought was he was dying and this was what hell felt like.  Minutes later he realized the cold from the floor and his sweaty body did not make for a great combination. He was starting to shiver uncontrollably and it did nothing to help the pounding of his head. Just as he was contemplating moving or death there was a soft knock.  He shifted his head just enough to register that Lance’s sister was watching him carefully. 

“Lance thought he heard you moving around and asked me to check on you. He was just about to leave to go get some food. You’re not dying are you?”

Keith glared, or at least he thought he glared at Rachel. He tried to sit up but all that happened was a strangled whimper and a half ass wave.

Lance’s sister moved closer and leaned down to offer Keith a hand. Rachel smirked at Keith “I’ll let Lance know you’re somewhat alive.”

Keith cursed under his breath about the McClain siblings and their shit-eating grins. Just as he was working himself up to fully commit to complaining about Rachel, he realized she had left a glass of water and some pain killers.  Keith sighed, those damn McClains and their infinite kindness.

Keith finally made his way downstairs. Rachel, Joey and Lucy were the only ones inside at the moment. Rosa was outside collecting eggs and Joey was indulging Lucy and watching Frozen and singing along to one of the songs, something about love and doors.  Rachel was in the kitchen cleaning up breakfast dishes.  Keith sat down at the kitchen table and rested his chin on his hand.  A clicking sound got his attention and saw Lucy grinning, phone in hand. She flipped her phone to show Keith the picture she just took of his amazing bed head. The left side of his hair was plastered to his face. The right side of his hair was sticking out in all directions and from what he could see the back of his hair was a wild tangle of knots.  There were also several deep creases on the side of his face from the pillow. Keith couldn’t even be angry. He had never seen his hair look so horrible. 

Keith had just put his head back on the table when there was the sound of a door opening and Rosa yelling at Joey to help put away the eggs.

Keith flinched at the loud voices. He thought he heard someone ask how he was feeling but at that moment his stomach gave a violent lurch and he found himself running for the small bathroom just off the kitchen.  He was cursing himself to ten kinds of hell when he heard soft voices just outside the door. He couldn’t even bring himself to care that the door was opening and someone was going to see him emptying his guts, shaking and sweating over a toilet.  This was definitely not one of his finer moments. 

Keith leaned against the wall, unwilling to trust his shaking legs to stand. He heard a flush and Rachel, “I gave him a glass of water and some aspirin about 5 minutes ago mama.”

There was the sound of running water as Rosa responded, “Go get me another glass of water and a ginger ale.”

Keith flinched when a damp cloth was pressed to his forehead. He opened his eyes to see Rosa sitting next to him with the cloth in her hand. Something tightened in his chest as she pushed his bangs from his face, “Let me wipe your face sweetie. The cool cloth will help with the sweating.”

Keith nodded, swallowing hard to keep his emotions in check.  It had been so long since he felt anything remotely close to a mother’s touch and his hungover state was not helping. He couldn’t help but lean into Rosa’s touch as she gently wiped his face. She pulled him to her side as Rachel came back with the water, “There was no ginger ale but Joey said one of his PowerAde drinks will be good for his dehydration. And Lance just came back with some food for Keith if he can keep it down.”

Rosa sat with Keith as he sipped the PowerAde, waiting with him to see if he would be able to keep it down. After several minutes Rosa stood up and helped Keith to his feet. He looked at his feet and mumbled, “I’m sorry for being so much trouble.”

Rosa tutted, “Nonsense, you are not the first child to have a hangover in my house. Those children of mine are notorious for trying to convince me they have a stomach virus after staying out all hours of the night.  I know what they get up to.”

Keith nodded but didn’t lift his head. Rosa stepped forward and pulled Keith into a hug. Keith felt his breath hitch as he rested his head on her shoulder. She was the same height that his mom would be and the softness in the way she wrapped her arms around his shoulders undid his resolve.  As she carded her fingers through his hair and whispered soft reassurances that he was no trouble he couldn’t hold back his sobs. He blamed this emotional outburst on his hangover.

Rosa held him as he cried, “Oh, Keith, sweetheart it’s ok.”

He finally pulled back, “I’m sorry. I just, all of a sudden you reminded me of my mom. I felt like I was hugging her and it’s been so long. I’m sorry.”

Rosa leaned forward to press a kiss to Keith’s forehead, “You have nothing to be sorry for. And it doesn’t matter how long it’s been, you’re allowed to miss your mother.”

Keith nodded, wiping his nose across the sleeve of his shirt. Rosa placed a hand on either side of Keith’s face forcing him to look at her, “Anytime you feel like you need a mother’s hug, you come to me. I know I’m not your mama, but I also know sometimes you just need a hug from a mom. You don’t even have to ask, you just come to me. Mamas always know when a child needs a hug, even if that child isn’t theirs.”

Keith stared at Rosa, her kind eyes and the warmth in her smile. His bottom lip trembled and the tears continued to fall. His voice was no more than a shaky whisper but Rosa heard it none the less, “Thank you.”

Several moments later Keith followed Rosa from the bathroom. Lance was waiting in the kitchen with food when they walked in, “Yo Mullet! I got some…..dude, what the hell happened to your hair?”

Lucy was sitting next to Lance and started laughing, “I got a picture of it.”

Lance grinned as he gave Lucy a fist bump, “I taught you so well.”

Keith snorted and tried to run a hand through his hair. He shrugs and grins at Lance, “I’ve always had horrible bed head.”

Lance starts laughing, “That is not horrible bed head. That is…. You know, I don’t even know what that is.”

Lance pulls out a plate and sets it in front of Keith, “anyway, I have the perfect hangover cure. Greasy hamburgers and caffeine.  Guaranteed to make you feel better after five minutes.”

Rosa glares, “Lance, you wasted your money on that trash. I could have made you lunch.”

“Mama, nothing compares to your food. But I promise this is just what Keith needs after a night of drinking. You’ll see.”

Keith groaned at the thought of trying to consume food but the moment he smelled the hamburger his stomach rumbled. Lance gave a knowing nod of his head, “You’re not going to regret this.”

Lance pulled out two hamburgers, one for himself and one for Keith, dumped some fries on the plate and slid it in front of Keith along with a coke. Keith hesitantly took a sip of coke and sighed. It was like he could feel the caffeine thrumming through his blood reviving him and taking the edge off of his pounding headache.  He took a longer sip and then reached for his burger.  If the coke had him sighing in relief from his headache, then the burger was the miracle cure for his nausea.  Never, had anything tasted as wonderful as a greasy burger from whatever fast-food hell Lance managed to find.  He owed Lance his life, and maybe he shouldn’t get drunk like that again because lord knows he couldn’t afford more than his life if Lance had to save his sorry hungover ass again.

Two minutes later Keith was leaning back in his chair feeling better if not for the gross feeling of sweat and alcohol still permeating from his skin. Not to mention, nothing was going to cure that mess of hair other than a good washing.  As if reading his thoughts Lance stood up and motioned for Keith to follow him, “I got some clothes you can borrow if you want a shower.”

Keith’s shoulders dropped in relief, “god yes. A shower would be great.”

When Keith stepped out of the bathroom he truly felt like a new person. Maybe it was the food, or the coke, but maybe it was the shower.  Whichever it was, Keith was definitely less hungover, though his headache lingered as a reminder of his poor life choices from the night before.  He was folding his dirty clothes when he heard his phone’s text notification.  It was sitting on Lance’s dresser. He picked it up and noticed several messages. He unlocked his phone and groaned.  His texts were several videos of his drunken behavior and his lovely morning after pic courtesy of Lucy and now Lance.  Keith fell back on Lance’s bed as he saw the video of himself grabbing Lance’s ass.  Oh god he was going to regret last night forever. 

Lance chose that moment to walk in and Keith turned a furious shade of red, “Lance, I am so sorry! I didn’t even realize how inappropriate I acted last night.”

Lance shrugged, “It’s all good.  Besides we’ve all been there, got drunk, done stupid shit, and lived to tell the tale.”

“Yea but, Lance really…. I grabbed your ass. That wasn’t cool of me.”

“Nope, no, no, no, no, no. Don’t go there ok.” Lance grabbed Keith’s shoulders, “It’s cool. I mean it.  Besides, I’d rather get ass grabbed by you then some sleazy old drunk man 30 years older than me.”

“Laaaaance…”

“Keeeeeith…seriously. I’m giving you props for that. You saw a great ass and grabbed it. No shame ok?”

“Yea but, I’m a guy. Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean you are.  It wasn’t cool.”

Lance gaped at Keith, “You’re gay? Since when? I had no idea.”

Keith sighed, “Yes I’m gay, since forever. And it’s not like I go around advertising my sexual preference.  But that’s not the point.  The point is I was acting like a shameless flirt, desperate for everything. I was totally out of line last night.”

Lance raised an eyebrow at Keith, “Ok seriously? I don’t discriminate. If a guy wants to grab my ass then hey go for it.  I’m an equal opportunity Cuban.  Even if I was straight, I can still appreciate any one, guy or girl, grabbing a fine ass.  That shit doesn’t offend me. Unless, like I said earlier, you’re some perverted old creep 30 years older than me.  I’m not into that big of an age gap.”

Keith swallowed, “Oh, well….um…yea ok then.”

Several minutes of silence passed between the two, Keith cutting looks at Lance when he thought he wasn’t looking, when Lance raised an eyebrow, “Spill it Keith, what’s bothering you.”

Keith blushed, “It’s not a big deal, I mean it doesn’t matter….”

Lance crossed his arms and waited.

Keith finally stuttered out what was eating at him, “I just always thought you were straight.”

Lance sighed, “Are we really having the sexual identity talk?”

“NO!” Keith shouted. “I mean it’s just, never mind it’s none of my business.”

Keith stood up from the bed and grabbed his things, “Look, I’m sorry. Like I said it’s none of my business. And it really isn’t a big deal to me, I just never had friends before much less friends who were gay or bisexual or whatever. And I don’t want what happened last night to be ok just because of your sexual orientation. I was out of line and as my friend I want you to be able to tell me what I did was uncool even if it doesn’t bother you.”

Lance nodded, “Ok, I get it. And even if you don’t believe me it really is no big deal. We all had a bit too much to drink and we were just a bunch of friends having a good time. If you can’t let loose and have a good time with friends then what’s the point of hanging out? But you don’t have to leave or beat yourself up because of it.”

Keith’s shoulders slumped, “I know, but I have a shift at the hospital for a few hours tonight so I really gotta get going.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Keith sighed for what felt like the millionth time. It was the second week in July and possibly the most stressful and boring summer at the same time.  Keith had decided to give up his photography job and reduced his hours at the mechanic shop in order to increase his hours at the hospital.  As much as he loved working on cars it wasn’t paying nearly enough to keep up with his hospital bills he had accumulated, but the hospital paid more and offered benefits and health insurance if he became full time.  His hours were also more flexible at the hospital, allowing him to work more evenings, nights or early mornings and the occasional weekends.  Coran handled most of his work Monday through Friday and allowed Keith to set his own schedule as long as the work set aside for Keith was completed before the end of his shift.  Sometimes Keith asked for extra hours to earn extra money and those extra hours would wear on Keith. Even with the extra hours at work Keith found himself feeling restless.  Lance was away visiting relatives in Cuba and wouldn’t be back until August.  Apparently every summer, Lance would spend four weeks with his mom’s brother who had taken over his grandmother’s property.  Lance had told him it wasn’t a leisurely visit, most days he was helping with farm work, but he had managed to send a few pictures to Keith of the beaches and even a few of himself surfing.  It was a strange feeling for Keith to miss the constant chatter at any given time from his friend, or the steady stream of texts or snapchats. While Lance was in Cuba his internet was limited, which meant Lance’s conversation with Keith was limited. 

Keith sighed again and slammed the book he had been reading. It was a slow night at the hospital and he decided to do some last minute reading while he had the time. The problem tonight was that he just couldn’t concentrate. In two days he was going with Coran to meet a few of his colleagues before he began his work in the hospital.  Keith was nervous. These meetings were not for Coran but for Keith and they were an integral part of his plans.  He was just thankful he had someone like Coran on his side. The man had some serious pull where Keith was concerned and he was putting his neck on the line for Keith, a stubborn, hot-headed, angry kid. But for all of Coran’s ability to pull strings, it still didn’t stop the doubts from creeping in. And if everything worked out, Keith would never be able to thank Coran enough for helping him achieve this goal.

                **Keith 11:42pm:** I can’t do this.  I think I’m gonna be sick

                **Pidge 11:46pm:** Relax. We’ve been over this every day this week.  You got this.

                **Keith 11:48pm:** ……

                **Pidge 11:48pm:** Quit overthinking

                **Keith 11:49pm:** What if I mess up? I mean what if I totally blank?

                **Pidge 11:53pm:** You won’t. Coran has faith in you and so do I.

                **Keith 11:55pm:** I just really want this to work out.

                **Pidge 11:57pm:** It will.

                **Pidge 11:58pm:**  Would it help if I went with you? For moral support?

                **Keith 12:01 am:** You already came with me in March. And Coran will be there. You don’t have to do this.

                **Pidge 12:03am:** I know I don’t but I’m asking if you want me there. I don’t mind.

                **Keith 12:05am:** GOD Yes! with a brown barf bag.

                **Pidge 12:07 am:** No problem. I’ll be there.

                **Keith 12:12am:** Thanks

True to her word, Pidge was there Saturday morning. She jokingly held a brown paper bag out to Keith and was shocked when he yanked it from her hands and immediately used it to release the contents of his gut.  Even Coran seemed taken aback at Keith’s nervousness.  Keith managed to pull himself together just before they met with Coran’s colleagues but not before his nerves commanded his attention once again. Thankfully Pidge was well equipped with breath mints and gum and handed him several mints as soon as he ducked out of the restroom.

The meeting went better than Keith originally thought and he only had one more appointment in late July. If all went well he would be telling Shiro about the plans that he made involving the rest of his life. He could only hope his brother would forgive him for waiting to tell him about any of this. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Two weeks later Keith looked down at his phone in his hand. He just received a text from Pidge.

                **Pidge 1:42pm:** Good luck! You got this!

                **Keith 1:44pm:** Thanks, I couldn’t have gotten this far without your help.

~~~~~~~~~~

Keith was in his kitchen leaning against the counter and glaring at a folder on his table. He was nervous, more nervous than he could ever recall.  His arms were crossed and he lifted his left hand to bite at the skin of his thumb while continuing to glare at the brown folder.  He was supposed to have dinner with Shiro and Allura tonight, his idea, to talk to Shiro about the offending folder.  If Shiro thought Keith asking to have dinner with the two of them was an odd request he didn’t say anything about it.  He knew everything was going to be fine but he couldn’t help the doubt and the negative thoughts.  He glanced at the time on the microwave and cursed, he needed to leave in 20 minutes.

After a quick shower, Keith grabbed his keys, phone, wallet and the folder and headed to Allura’s. When Keith asked about having dinner with the two because he needed to talk to Shiro, Allura offered her place. She had a quaint cookie cutter house with a porch and a white picket fence. There was a large oak tree in the front yard with a tire swing and a spacious back yard with a small garden.  The house itself was very modest with only one story, nice hard wood floors and a recently updated and very large kitchen.  It suited Allura very much, and if Keith was being honest he could see Shiro moving in with Allura very soon and fitting in as well.

Keith walked up just as Allura opened the front door. She pulled Keith in for a quick hug and ushered him inside.  “I hope you don’t mind that we’re doing take out tonight. Shiro just got back with some Thai food from that new restaurant.”

Keith shook his head, “No, I kind of put you on the spot asking for this last minute.”

Allura smiled, “Nonsense, I’m glad you wanted to have dinner with us regardless of the reason.”

Keith followed Allura into her kitchen where Shiro was taking out several containers of food. Keith stood near the table watching Shiro and Allura move with ease around each other. He was happy for both of them and he hoped that he was on his way to becoming just as happy as the two of them were. Shiro looked up from setting some plates on the table and paused at the look on Keith’s face.  There was something there that he just couldn’t quite place, “Hey, you okay over there?”

Keith blinked coming out of his own thoughts. “Yea, I’m fine. I was just wondering if we could talk for a minute before we eat.”

Shiro frowned, “Is everything ok? You’ve got me kind of worried kiddo.”

Allura stepped around Shiro giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, “You can sit in the living room with some drinks while I finish getting everything ready. The food will be ok for a few minutes while the two of you talk.”

“Oh, Allura you don’t have to hide out in here.  What I need to talk about isn’t private and I don’t mind if you listen. You’ll find out anyway.”

Allura gave Keith a curious look, “are you sure? I don’t mind waiting while you talk.”

Keith smiled albeit a bit nervously and pulled Allura with him, “No I think you might like what I have to tell Shiro. I mean I hope you will. I hope both of you will. It’s been something I’ve been working on for a while and I didn’t want to say anything if it didn’t work out but it’s good. At least I think….”

Keith stopped mid-sentence as Allura slipped her wrist from Keith’s grip.  She was standing next to Shiro and the pair looked at Keith as he rambled.  Not knowing what else to do Keith shoved the folder he had been holding into Shiro’s hands.

Shiro stared at the folder then back at Keith, “Keith, what is this?”

Keith gestured to the folder, “Just open it. Everything is all in there.”

Keith began to pace in the small living room while Shiro flipped through the contents in the folder. There were several pages of what looked like test scores, a few letters from the hospital with Coran’s signature. There were a few letters with dollar amounts that made no sense to Shiro so he glossed over those. The last two pages included an acceptance letter from Oklahoma State University and a schedule of courses.  Shiro put the folder down but continued to hold the acceptance letter in a shaking hand. “Keith, what is all of this for?”

Keith pulled his thumb from his mouth where he had been chewing on it and turned toward Shiro. He was unable to look at his brother and kept his eyes trained on the floor. His voice trembled and he spoke just barely above a whisper, “I applied to college.”

Shiro looked at the paper in his hand his eyebrows pulled together and a confused frown on his face, “You applied to college?”

Keith nodded, still unable to look at Shiro. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while and I um, I started working out the details this past March. I start classes on the 24th of August.” Keith shifted on his feet, “Please don’t be mad at me.”

Shiro put the paper he had been holding back in the folder, “Why would I be mad at you?”

“Because I didn’t tell you sooner. I wanted to tell you, I really did.” Keith’s voice faltered but he continued, “I didn’t want you to get your hopes up if it didn’t work out and I wanted to do something that would….I mean I didn’t do this just for you, I really wanted this to work out and if it didn’t I would have kept trying because I really want to do this. I finally know what I want to do, and I wanted to do something that would have made mom and dad proud.  And you.  I want to make you proud. I’ve been so horrible since mom and dad died and I’m so sorry.  I just want you to be proud of me.” Keith’s voice broke, “I want you to not regret keeping me after….”

Before he could finish his sentence Shiro had stood up and pulled him into a crushing hug, “I’m not mad at you. And I am proud of you. I am _so_ _so_ proud of you.”

Keith couldn’t speak, he just gripped Shiro’s shirt as tears threatened to fall. He nodded as his brother continued to hold him and tell him how proud he was and how their parents would have been so proud of him as well.

Shiro finally pulled back with both hands on Keith’s shoulder. “You applied for college.”

Keith finally looked at his brother. He noticed the glassiness of Shiro’s eyes and the big smile on his face. Keith nodded, “I applied for college.”

Shiro’s smile if possible got bigger, “And you got accepted.”

Keith finally returned Shiro’s smile with a rare one of his own. One that was even bigger and brighter. He let out a nervous chuckle and rubbed the back of his neck, “And I got accepted.”

Allura watched the interaction between the two brothers and couldn’t stop her own smile or the few tears that fell from her own eyes. She slipped into the kitchen just as Keith launched himself back into his brother’s arms and enthusiastically proclaimed, “I’m going to college Shiro!”

Shiro slung an arm around Keith and pulled him into the kitchen. The pair sat at the table while Allura brought out the food. “So Keith, what made you decide to apply for college.”

Keith sat down and sighed. His expression turned from happy to a bit melancholy as he put his hands in his lap and looked down. “It was the day Amie died.”

Allura put down the container she had been holding and gave Keith a quick hug, “I’m so sorry. I remember how hard that day was for you.”

Keith nodded, “It brought back a lot of things I didn’t want to be reminded of, but the talk I had with you helped. There were so many different things that factored into my decision.”

Keith watched as Allura passed him and Shiro plates of food and then sat down with her own plate. He took a quick sip of his coke and spoke, “I’m going to be 21 in October and most people my age are halfway done with college or on their way to knowing what they want to do with their lives.  The only thing I knew after our parents died was that the world sucked and I hated everyone and everything.  After the accident with Shiro, I met you and Veronica and by extension I also met Lance, Hunk, Dr. Smythe, and most importantly the kids on the 6th floor.”

Allura and Shiro both waited for Keith to continue. “The first day Veronica brought me to the children’s cancer ward I was angry because you wouldn’t tell me anything about Shiro. That was the day I threw a fit and you sedated me.”

Shiro gasped, “Keith!”

Allura just laughed, “I do remember how angry you were that day. But on the plus side you learned not to throw bedpans anymore.”

Shiro pinched the bridge of his nose, “Oh my god Keith. You were raised so much better than that.”

Keith had the good grace to blush profusely, “I know! And I apologized to Allura later.”

Shiro looked at Allura, “So I have to sedate him if I want him to behave?”

Allura shrugged, “Or just call me.”

Keith groaned, “Oh my god stop!!!”

Keith shoved a few bites of food in his mouth while Shiro and Allura continued to tease him. After a few minutes Allura waved her hand, “Ok Keith, finish your story.”

“So, that day Veronica took me to the children’s ward, I saw those kids. I saw a suffering in their eyes that I couldn’t understand. There was something about them that no matter how shitty life was for me; they were dealing with something bigger. And they shouldn’t have to because they were, are, only kids. I never asked any of them about their cancer.  I didn’t want to know Gracie or Eva or Drew or even Amie because they were sick. I didn’t want them to think it was the only reason I talked to them.  I wanted them to just be kids. So I drew pictures and I colored and asked them about the books they read. And I got to know them.  And they were so positive even on their bad days. And I just couldn’t understand how they could be so happy even when they were so sick. But even though I didn’t understand I had made a decision to not be angry or moody whenever I was in that room. They didn’t need someone like that so I was just someone that I thought I would want someone to be for me, I wanted to be the way Shiro was and the way Josh and Anna was before they adopted me.”

Shiro and Allura had both finished eating and were hanging on to the words that Keith spoke. “So part of my decision was because of those kids. Part of it was because Amie did die. Another part was the conversation we had after Amie died.”

At that Keith looked at Allura. “I asked you how you could do it. And you didn’t sugar coat anything.”

Allura nodded, “I remember that conversation as well. I wondered a few times what led you to ask those questions and now it all makes sense.”

Keith bit his lip, lost in thought for a moment before he continued. “You told me about the crap days when you can’t do a thing to save your patients, but then you told me about the people that do make it like that girl who was able to walk after the doctors didn’t think she would live. And that gave me a lot to think about. I mean I know from too many personal experiences that life sucks. But I kept thinking about those kids again.”

Shiro stood up and took the empty plates to the sink. He turned around with his back to the counter watching Keith. “I also had a talk with Veronica one day. She was telling me about how her grandmother was a widow with nine kids in Cuba. But she started with nothing and practically made herself so self-sufficient all of her kids were given “$650,000 each when she died.”

Allura nodded, “Veronica told me as much herself. She said it was the reason her parents were able to leave Cuba and come here to give their kids a better life.”

Keith nodded as well but looked to Shiro before he continued, “What’s even more amazing is that even with how well Rosa and Joseph have done since coming to America, none of their kids take anything for granted. Veronica and Lance both did well enough in high school to get scholarships so that they wouldn’t have to rely on their parents to pay for their education. Lance is a double major in Marine Biology and fucking Astrophysics.”

Allura and Shiro both gaped at Keith’s proclamation. He only nodded and kept going, “Not only that, but he helps his parents at their coffee shop, he babysits all of his nieces and nephews, and when he gets back from his aunt and uncle’s house in Cuba he’s going to start working part time at the aquarium. And he keeps a 4.0 GPA.”

Keith ducked his head, “I think I would have taken a lot for granted if I hadn’t been thrown into the system, if I had been given the same life that Lance has. But seeing him work so hard, seeing Veronica work hard at her job, hearing your story Allura, it all makes me want to do better as well. But Amie was the biggest reason I wanted to go to college. She won’t ever grow up, or fall in love, or build better wheel chairs for people.  She told me one day that’s what she wanted to do when she grew up, make really cool wheel chairs for sick people.”

Keith sniffed and wiped his nose on his sleeve, “I don’t want another kid to die. I know realistically that it’s not possible to save every kid. But, if I could do something to keep parents like Sarah and Toby from having to go through that, to be able to tell them that your child is in remission instead of telling them their child isn’t going to live; if I can do that, then it’s worth it. And that’s why I want to go to college, to be an oncologist and work in pediatrics with kids like Amie, Gracie, Drew, Aiden, Eva, Jacie, and all the others. I know it’s going to take a long time, and it won’t be easy. But it will be worth it.”

Shiro walked over to Keith and pulled him out of his chair and into another hug, “Do you know how amazing you are?”

Keith shook his head, “I’m not. I’ve been a shit brother and you didn’t deserve any of it.”

Shiro carded a hand through Keith’s hair, “You have been dealt a shitty hand, but you’re coming out on top. I just wish mom and dad were here to see you do this.”

Keith’s breath hitched, “Shiro, no. I made such a mess of things.”

“But you’re fixing it, and that’s all that matters.” Shiro felt Keith’s body shudder and he pulled Keith away and held his face, forcing Keith to look at him, “Hey, I’m proud of you.”

Keith tried to shake his head, tears falling despite his rapid blinking. He closed his eyes until Shiro spoke to him again, “Keith look at me.”

He waited until Keith opened his eyes, “I’m going to say it again. I’m going to say it until you believe me. I am proud of you. You did all of this because you wanted mom and dad to be proud of you, for me to be proud of you. That’s what you told me. So, yes, I am proud of you. You are amazing, and I know for a fact that mom and dad would be proud of you. And nothing you could have done would ever make me regret keeping you after mom and dad passed. Do you hear me? I don’t regret any of it.”

Keith’s resolve crumbled. He let out a sob as Shiro pulled him back into his arms and whispered into his hair, “I’m proud of you baby brother.”  


Allura smiled at the brothers and reached for some glasses and a bottle of wine. “I think this deserves a bit of celebration.”

Keith blushed, “You don’t have to make this a big deal Allura.” She ruffled Keith’s hair, “Nonsense. You’re making a big life changing decision and this is such good news. It deserves to be celebrated.”

Keith ducked his head and allowed Allura to pull him to her side and kiss his temple. They both entered the living room after Shiro. She nudged his hip as they walked side by side, “What I want to know is how you managed to get Coran involved.”

**_FLASHBACK_ **

_Keith cursed as he maneuvered down the hospital halls. Hunk decided Keith still needed to utilize the crutches for at least 2 more weeks along with continuing to wear his boot.  Everything took longer with crutches; walking, public transportation, shopping, and fucking stairs because Jesus fucking Christ he was not allowed to drive while he was still wearing his boot.  He just hoped he didn’t run into Hunk today because he left both his crutches and his boot home so he could drive and god was his foot hating him. Thank god for elevators in the hospital.  He was so lost in thought cursing his foot he hadn’t realized he passed up Dr. Smythe’s office.  He backtracked to the man’s office and noticing the door slightly ajar he knocked._

_Dr. Smythe’s cheerful voice trickled through the opening, “Come in.”_

_His eyes rose slightly when he saw it was Keith. “Well, I must say this is a surprise.” Keith shrugged, “I’m sorry if I’m bothering you, but I was wondering if I could talk to you for a few minutes.”_

_Dr. Smythe tucked some paperwork into a folder and gave Keith his full attention, “As it so happens I was just doing a bit of busy work and if all goes well, I’m free for the next hour.”_

_Keith sighed and relaxed a bit before sinking into a nearby chair._

_Dr. Smythe folded his hands neatly on his desk and gave Keith a once over noticing the nervousness still very evident in Keith’s posture, “So what is it that I can do for you today my boy?”_

_Keith worried his bottom lip between his teeth gathering his thoughts. “I was wondering if you might be able to give me some advice about pursuing a certain career.”_

_Dr. Smythe nodded, “I see. Can you give me a bit more information?”_

_“Well,” Keith started with a blush, “I want to look into college but I don’t have the best academic record from high school. In fact, it’s practically non-existent.”_

_Dr. Smythe or Coran as he asked Keith to call him leaned back in his chair with a thoughtful gaze, “Hmmm, well that does pose a problem.”_

_Coran shuffled a few papers around on his desk, “Just how serious are you about going to college?”_

_“Very serious.”_

_Coran tapped an ink pen several times on a blank note pad, “Just how non-existent are we talking when it comes to your high school academics?”_

_Keith began to fidget with the hem of his shirt, “Let’s just say I barely made the minimum grades to pass. And that was with Shiro fighting tooth and nail for me with the guidance counselors and principal. I probably missed so many days my entire four years from skipping classes, suspensions, and almost being expelled numerous times that it added up to almost a full year of absences.”_

_Coran was watching Keith. He noticed Keith wasn’t exactly proud of the fact his high school career was so dismal, but he didn’t hide from the fact that he knew it was his own fault. He scribbled something on the sticky note in front of him, “I take it then you haven’t had any sort of college preparatory courses or taken the ACT or looked into any colleges and the minimum freshman entry requirements.”_

_Keith swallowed hard, “Um, no. I can’t say that I have.  I took the bare minimum, easiest classes just so I wouldn’t have to study.”_

_“Can I ask just what it is that you want to study if you do manage to get accepted into college?”_

_There was a mumble coming from Keith that had Coran leaning forward “My boy, I need you to speak up if you expect me to hear your answer.”_

_“I want to study to be a doctor.”_

_The silence between the pair was nerve wracking. Keith could feel Coran assessing him, analyzing him as if he was a rare specimen in an experiment. When he couldn’t take the silence any longer he began to ramble as his nerves got the best of him, “Look, I just need to know if it’s even possible to do this. If I’m wasting my time because I fucked up in high school then just tell me. This is all I’ve been thinking about this for the past few weeks and I can’t get it out of my head so I decided to come down here and talk to you. I’m willing to do whatever it takes if that’s what you’re concerned about even it takes me several years to finally get in to college.”_

_Coran raised a hand and Keith stopped rambling to take a breath, “Keith, I can help you if what you just said is true. I can even possibly get you in by this August. But it will be a hard 5 months.  It will require a lot of studying between now and then.”_

_Keith nodded unable to say anything. He just watched as Coran scribbled down a few more things and then started printing several different things from his computer._

_Coran began by going over each paper with Keith, “First you need to take the ACT. This page is a list of study books you can access from the library and several websites for online study courses and practice tests. Beneath that are the lists of dates for the next round of tests. I advise you to take the first one even if you don’t feel prepared. It will serve as a baseline and will let you know where you need to improve and what to concentrate on for the next test.”_

_Keith nodded and briefly scanned the paper Coran gave him even as he started going over the next page. “This is a list of colleges that have a decent medical school including OSU. These are the websites to the academic acceptance requirements for each college. These are just the minimum requirements, anything above and beyond that will increase your chances of getting accepted. It will give you an idea of just how much you have to accomplish in a few short months.”_

_“Finally, I’m assuming you know what field of study you want to concentrate on when you do get into medical school which is why you chose me specifically to speak to. Am I correct?”_

_Keith bit back a chuckle, “Am I that transparent?”_

_Coran grinned, “I wouldn’t necessarily say transparent, but if you were only interested in general surgery so to speak you could have gone to anyone. But instead you came here to this specific ward to seek me out.”_

_Keith rubbed the back of his neck, “Yea, I guess that would make it pretty obvious.”_

_Coran placed one last sheet of paper in front of Keith, “Well then, since my intuition was correct, this is a list of books that you can buy either through a bookstore or on an e-reader to research oncology specific to pediatrics. They are detailed but if you are serious they will be invaluable to you throughout your college studies and also during your career.”_

_Keith held the pages he had been given in his hands as if they were a precious and fragile piece of glass. “I can’t tell you how much this means to me that you are helping me with this.”_

_“Don’t thank me yet. You still have a long way to go. And since you came to me with this, I expect you to report to me at every step. I want to see confirmation emails to your ACT test dates, receipts and proof that you are reading those books, and your thoughts on your college choices and why you’re picking a certain one over another. What I am saying is if you are truly serious and not wasting both of our times with this, then I want to be your mentor all the way through.”_

_Keith gasped and looked up “I don’t understand. Why would you do that for me?”_

_“Because I see something in you and because I believe in you. For what it’s worth, sometimes we need someone other than those we are closest with to give us that encouraging nudge. And that’s what I want to do for you.”_

_Keith blinked several times trying to keep the tears at bay. Before he could form a proper thanks Coran started speaking again, “There is one other thing. It isn’t much but I am looking for an assistant to help deal with some paper work and several other odd jobs around the children’s ward. I can pass it off as a trial period pending college acceptance and a possible internship position if things go well for you. That is, if you are interested. The hours are flexible.”_

**_END FLASHBACK_ **

“So that’s how you got the job at the hospital.” Allura mused. “I thought Coran just felt sorry for you and let you work there because you became so close to the kids while you were there.”

Keith shrugged, “I couldn’t pass it up. It was double what I was making at the auto shop and I needed to start saving as much money as possible to help with tuition and books.”

Shiro leaned forward, “How are you going to pay for tuition? Have you decided to use the money we put aside from selling the house?”

“No,” Keith reached for the folder Shiro had put on the coffee table while they talked. “I actually won’t have to pay for anything.”

Shiro sat up in surprise, “I don’t understand.”

Keith grinned and handed him a paper broken down in four sections with different scores. Allura looked over Shiro’s shoulder at the paper he held. “Keith,” she murmured looking up at him with wide eyes, “these scores are phenomenal.”

“So I’ve been told. Pidge was pretty pissed that I scored higher than her and only took the ACT one time.”

Shiro looked back and forth between Allura and Keith, “so these are good?”

Keith shrugged, “Must be. Pidge got a 33 on hers I think she told me. But that was after her third time taking it.”

Shiro pulled the paper back from Allura, “what was your final score Keith? I’m not sure where to find it.” Keith pointed at the bottom corner. Shiro hummed, “36, that’s just a few points higher than Pidge. Not bad at all.”

Allura shook her head, “Shiro, you don’t understand. That is a perfect score. Keith got every single question correct on a test that takes over four hours. Most students study for months and have to retake this test several times just to score in the mid to upper 20’s. So for Keith to do this on the first try is amazing.”

Allura studied the test results one more time before looking back to Keith, “I’m assuming you were able to get a few scholarships because of your results.”

Keith nodded, “Not enough to cover everything but a huge portion.”

Shiro reached over and flicked Keith’s forehead, “Wait a minute. You said Pidge was pissed at you. You told Pidge before you told me?”

 “OW Shiro!” Keith frowned as he rubbed his forehead.

Allura took the folder that was back on the table and hit Shiro on the head, “That’s what you’re taking away from your brother’s accomplishment? You’re concerned he told your best friends little sister before he told you?”

Shiro shrugged.

 “Yea, I sort of panicked and asked her what it was like taking the ACT.” Keith was still rubbing his forehead, “She’s a tenacious little gremlin and pulled the story out of me after I swore her to secrecy. She even helped me with some of the online study guides and practice tests and came with me the day of the test.”

Allura flipped through the folder while Keith talked, “Are these the scholarships? Keith, these are impressive. How did you manage?”

“Believe it or not Coran knows a lot of influential people at Oklahoma State. I think he may have used a bit of his influence to get those; maybe not necessarily the scholarship itself, but definitely the amount on each of them.  I did a bit of research and the amounts are usually only about half that even for graduating valedictorians and salutatorians.”

Shiro sipped some of his wine, “What about the rest if you’re not using the money from the house.”

“I’m not sure how it works exactly, but because I was thirteen when mom and dad died and was never adopted again, I’m still considered a ward of the state. But I think it’s only because I’m going to be back in school. Anyway, because of that there are certain educational grants that are given as long as you maintain a certain GPA. I’m also considered a minority because I’m Korean so that was another grant. And because I live on my own and under the age of 25 I qualified for Pell Grants. If I can continue to put away money until I’m 25 I’m hoping I won’t have to take out any student loans to finish my degree.”

Allura grabbed everyone’s glasses and headed into the kitchen while the brothers continued to talk. Shiro moved to sit next to Keith and nudged him with his shoulder, “I have a feeling I’m going to sound like a broken record but I really am proud of you.”

Keith ducked his head and blushed, “I wasn’t sure I would be able to pull it off. There were so many days I just wanted to give up. I almost called you several times when I thought I would crack under the pressure but Pidge has been great. She’s an amazing friend and she keeps me grounded.”

Shiro chuckled softly, “You know, dad used to say you had the determination of a pit bull. Once you latched on to an idea or wanted to learn something you held on and wouldn’t let go until you perfected it. It’s what made you so good at the auto shop. I’m not surprised you managed to pull this off.”

Keith had tensed up slightly at the mention of their dad but slowly let himself relax and lean heavily into Shiro’s side. “That day after I talked to Coran, after he agreed to help me, I went to the cemetery.”

Shiro knew Keith hadn’t been to their parents’ grave in almost 5 years. He didn’t push Keith for an explanation but waited for Keith to continue in his own time. “I hadn’t even made a conscious decision to go. I had just left the hospital after talking to Coran and I was wondering what they would have thought about all of this. And the next thing I knew, I was pulling into the small parking lot and walking through the cemetery. I just sat there.”

Keith took a deep breath and continued, “For so long I was angry at them. I sat on that bench and realized everything I did in my life for the past 7 almost 8 years was because I was angry at mom and dad.  I was angry that they just left me you know? I finally had a family, a mom and a dad and they just left. So I just did the only thing I knew how to do and that was to just be angry and push everyone away, especially you.”

Shiro shifted and adjusted his arm around Keith and pulled him into his side, “You’ve had a hard life, a harder life then I could even begin to imagine. You went through some horrible shit before you came to live with us and it was the only way you knew how to deal with things.  I wasn’t that much better you know.  I had to figure out how to take care of you when I could barely take care of myself. I probably wasn’t the best role model for you growing up after mom and dad died.”

“But you were.” Keith shifted and looked at Shiro. “It may not have been perfect but you were there. And that’s what I was thinking about that day. I know we never talked about it much, but I know you gave up a lot to keep me out of foster care again. I know you transferred schools and you struggled at crap jobs just to make ends meet, and you gave up a lot of other things, but you never gave up on me. Just like mom and dad never gave up on me. And when I really thought about it, I knew deep down they didn’t leave me the way my real parents did. They didn’t have a choice. And I think that was the first day in a long time that I wasn’t angry at them.”

Shiro watched as Keith leaned his head back taking a few deep breaths to collect himself. “I don’t like having feelings.” Keith turned his head still resting against the back of the couch to look at Shiro, “I haven’t let myself feel anything other than anger for so long, but I’m so tired.  I’m tired of being angry, of being bitter, of hating the world for shitting on me. But I’m going to try to be better from now on.  I want to be better, and I’m scared to death of going to college, but I need this.”

Shiro pulled Keith back against him and ruffled his hair, “You’re gonna be amazing.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some financial aid mumbo-jumbo in this chapter and I am pretty sure most of it is inaccurate. Just please remember this is purely for entertainment purposes only and don't rake me over the coals for my inaccurate details.
> 
> To everyone who has read this, stuck with me, left kudos, etc I love you all! You are all the best!


	6. On Top Of The World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chapter with no angst, hurt, crying or drama!
> 
> We see a sleep rumbled, grumpy Keith! My ass lives for his grumpy self!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something I probably should have mentioned a long time ago but this story was in the works long before Voltron creators announced Shiro's sexuality. I have done some editing to include hints of it but because of how much of this story was already written out it was way too hard to revamp to have Shiro as exclusively gay so therefore in this AU story he is Bi. Please no hate. I understand that some people may feel as if I'm negating what is canon but that is truly not the case. Please remember this is just a work of fiction and just for fun.

_I've been waiting to smile, 'ay_

_B _een holding it in for a while, 'ay__

_Take it with me if I can_

_Been dreaming of this since a child_

_I'm on top of the world._

_On Top of the World by: Imagine Dragons_

 

 

“I still can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were applying to college. Dude, that is so amazing!”

Keith rolled his eyes but can’t keep the small smile from his face, “I told you, I didn’t tell anyone.”

Lance raises an eyebrow, “Don’t bullshit me, I know for a fact from your own lips that you told Pidge.”

Keith sighed, “I didn’t mean to. I wanted to wait and tell everyone after I talked to Shiro but I panicked about taking the ACT and when I asked her about it and well….she figured some of it out. And I did tell you as soon as you got back.”

“I just got back today!” Lance was indignant as he reached for a towel from behind the counter. “Besides, you told Shiro days ago. You could have sent me a text or something dude.”

Keith raised an eyebrow, “The same way you told me about your birthday, which just so happened to be five days ago?”

Lance sputtered, “I wasn’t even in the country. How did you expect me to tell you about my birthday?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I mean we’ve only been friends for months now.” Keith swiveled the chair he was sitting in and made a full rotation before facing the counter and focusing his glare back on Lance. “Or maybe, you could have sent me a text or something _dude._ ”

Lance glared, “Just like you told me when your birthday was.”

Keith was shredding a napkin just to have something to do with his hands. “We weren’t even friends for my birthday you idiot.”

Lance shrugged, “Well we’re friends now so when’s your birthday? I mean, it’s only fair since you know that mine is July 28th.”

Keith grabbed another napkin. He hated anything to do with his birthday and knowing Lance he would try to make some big production over it the day of. He scooped up the shredded bits of paper and tossed them in a nearby trashcan. “It’s not a big deal. I don’t really celebrate my birthday. I haven’t for a while.”

Lance let out a small gasp. However, there must have been something in Keith’s tone that kept him from clutching his chest in mock dramatics. Instead he put his hand on Keith’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, I was truly just curious. If it bothers you, you don’t have to tell me.”

The pair sat in silence for a while, Lance busying himself with cleaning and making a few coffees for customers and Keith trying to fight the building panic that he was feeling. He took a deep breath and looked up at Lance.

He was humming as he wiped down the counter at his parents’ coffee shop. He had been back from Cuba for all of five minutes according to his complaints and he was gloriously tanned. True to his word he actually dropped the subject of birthdays as if it was really no big deal. He stopped mid wipe and stared at Keith, “Wait…Was this what you were talking about that day you sat at the cemetery? We came back here and you told me you were trying to work some things out but you were waiting to tell Shiro when the time was right. Was it about going back to school?”

Keith nodded. “I felt like I needed to make sure I could do this on my own and that it was even possible. I didn’t want to tell Shiro and get his hopes up and it not work out.”

Lance placed his elbows on the counter and leaned forward a bit, “I don’t know Shiro as well as I know you, but I do know he would have been proud of you just for trying.”

“That’s exactly what he told me.” Keith slumped a bit. He had one arm propped up on the counter resting his cheek on his hand causing his face to be abnormally squished on one side. He huffed dramatically. “I didn’t want to just try though. I wanted to actually succeed. I guess I still do. I mean I actually have classes to go to now and pass them.”

Lance snorted, “Did you actually think they would give you a degree just for signing up?”

Keith scowled as the towel Lance was wiping the counter with landed on his face. He threw it back at Lance, “No smartass. I know I have to study and shit. It’s just all a bit surreal.”

Lance tucked the towel into his apron and started filling the creamer and sugar packets, “I get it. For the longest time I felt like college was just going to be like high school, but then I got there and it was so much bigger. It’s an eye opener and in my case a reality check. Small town public schools with barely 200 kids per graduating class doesn’t even compare to a state university with 200 kids in _one_ class. I was terrified for weeks!”

Keith grabs the coffee stirrers and starts to fill the empty slot when a slap to his shoulder makes him drop the entire handful. He turns to glare at the offender to find Hunk sitting on the barstool next to him and dropping his head onto the counter. Keith refrains from biting his head off as he sees the exhausted look on his face. Instead he takes the coffee stirrers that have fallen and begin to strategically place them in Hunk’s headband. “Rough day at work?”

Hunk mutters something unintelligible. Keith smirks, it must have been bad if Hunk isn’t even aware of what’s happening. Lance stifles a giggle as he nudges Hunk and slides him a coffee. Keith manages to insert one more straw before Hunk sits up and the result is a hedgehog assortment of coffee stirrers sticking out in various directions. And poor Hunk clueless as ever just sighs, “Thanks dude, this coffee is gonna save my life. I’ve gotta go back in a few hours and pull a double shift.”

Hunk sips his coffee, blissfully unaware, “So what are you guys doing?”

Keith shrugs, “Contemplating the meaning of life.”

At the same time Lance replies, “Discussing the pros and mostly cons of having a mullet.”

Hunk nods, “Deep.”

Keith glared at Lance, “Stop calling it a mullet you jerk.”

“Then get it cut you moron.” Lance grabs the remaining coffee stirrers from Keith to put them where they belong, “You’ve been telling me you were gonna cut that shit off since you got out the hospital back in February and now it’s August.”

Keith looks around for something to occupy his hands and grabs a couple of sugar packets and throws them at Lance, “I’ve been busy studying for the ACTs, taking entrance exams and shit for college. And I had physical therapy in between.”

Lance throws a look at Hunk and he shakes his head, “Nope, uh-huh, no way dude. I am staying out of this fight over some hair-cut. That’s strictly between the two of you.”

At this point Hunk reaches back to pull his own hair at the back of his neck. Lance and Keith are both holding their breath to see if he’s gonna notice the obscene amount of coffee stirrers sticking out of his headband, but his hand misses and he shrugs at the two of them, “Besides, my hair is feeling a bit like a mullet these days as well, so who am I to judge Keith.”

Lance throws his hands up, “I’m surrounded by mullet lovers.”

Keith and Hunk share a fist-bump as Lance walks away to grab to-go coffee cups from the back. Hunk gives him a curt nod, “Mullet lovers solidarity my man.”

Twenty minutes later Keith feels only slightly bad as he watches Hunk leave the small coffee shop to head back to work.

Just as Keith gets up to leave he mumbles something to Lance. “What was that mullet? I didn’t hear you.”

Keith takes a deep breath. “October 23rd.  You asked when my birthday was. It’s October 23rd.”

Lance just smiles and Keith isn’t sure but he thinks that maybe it’s just a bit softer than usual. He grabs the coffee Lance is holding out to him and just waves his goodbyes, heading home. He’s pleasantly surprised when he takes a sip and realized Lance remembered to give him hot chocolate because he doesn’t like coffee.

Keith is home several hours later when he receives a group text from Veronica. It’s an attached picture sent to him, Lance, Allura, Shiro, Pidge, Matt, Shay, and Hunk. The picture is of Hunk sporting his coffee stirrer hair-do courtesy of Lance and Keith. Scratch that, it’s all courtesy of Keith. He’s oblivious to the state of his hair and to the strange looks his patient is giving his hair. The next few minutes are filled with crying emoji’s from everyone. Its several minutes after the initial wave of responses have died down when Hunk finally responds.

                **Hunk 3:14pm:** Payback is a bitch. I’m looking at you Lance and Keith

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By mid-September, Keith has settled into his school routine and working at the hospital. Most of his classes keep him busy and he appreciates the challenge. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays are his busiest. He has lectures for Microbiology, Biochemistry, Calculus, and a British Literature class and a freshman studies course that is required for all students. Pidge is in the same freshman studies course as he is and they tend to work on those assignments together.  He also works late at the hospital those days and rotates working either Saturday or Sunday on the weekends, most of the time his shift at the hospital doesn’t end until 11:00pm.  He’s lucky that the late shift is when things are quiet for him in the children’s ward.  Most nights he’s able to bring his laptop and work on assignments and catch up on required readings or review for his labs on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  His labs on Tuesday and Thursday don’t start until noon so he’s able to get a decent amount of sleep and still have some time to review before his classes. 

Eva, Mark, and Aiden are now in remission and no longer at the hospital. There are a couple of new kids that Keith hasn’t gotten to know quite so well just yet, but he visits them all just the same. Jackie and Gracie are the only two of the original group of kids that Keith first met still at the hospital. Jackie only has a month left of treatments and is doing extremely well, but Coran has been concerned about Gracie. Her small body is just not responding to any of the treatments and her health continues to decline.  Most nights Keith brings his books and laptop and sits in her room to do his homework. Sometimes when Gracie is having a restless night Keith will forgo studying and instead he’ll pull out his phone and find some soft music and just hold her hand. Sometimes he’ll sing to her or draw whatever she asks of him.  Some nights he can’t even bare to go in her room because he knows the heartbreak he felt for Amie will be nothing compared to the heartbreak he’ll feel if Gracie slips away. He knows if he continues to pursue this career path he’ll have to learn to deal with those emotions and that he won’t be able to have favorites. Keith has not hidden the fact that Gracie has always been his favorite from the first time that little girl barreled her way unashamedly into his life. He feels selfish for not sitting with her even though most days her parents are constantly at her side. On those nights he calls Shiro and occasionally Allura or Veronica if they aren’t at work. He’s even called Hunk and Pidge.  But more often than not he finds himself calling Lance. He’s not sure why the urge to call Lance on those nights hit him the hardest but he doesn’t fight it. Lance has an uncanny ability to know when Keith needs him to distract him from his own thoughts or to just let him vent about how unfair life is and that a child as sweet as Gracie shouldn’t be dealt a shit hand.  Sometimes Keith doesn’t even call, Lance will just show up with take-out or his mama’s left overs and sit with Keith in Coran’s office and the two will study until Keith gets off of work. And then there’s a night like tonight when Keith walks in to find Lance already sitting in Gracie’s room. He hadn’t even called Lance but there he is sitting on her bed holding her small hands and painting her nails an obnoxious bright pink that has her smiling despite the exhausted look on her face and the dark circles under her eyes. 

There’s a tightness in Keith’s chest and a fondness for the boy that he can’t quite figure out as he watches Lance with Gracie, but he pushes the thought from his head and saves it for another time. Right now he has the not so glamorous task of checking the bedpans and he always leaves Gracie for last so he can spend time with her before his shift ends.

Lance looks up as he hears Keith come in, “Hey mullet. We’re doing nails today while I wait for Ronnie to get off of work, wanna join us?”

Keith doesn’t even think about his answer. He’s done far more embarrassing things with these kids then letting someone paint his nails, “What are my color options?”

Gracie grins at Keith, “All we have is pink.”

Keith sighed dramatically making Gracie giggle, “Is it called Gracie-Pink? I don’t think I can get my nails done unless you have a specific Gracie-Pink. It’s got to be super bright though.”

Lance smirks, “You’re in luck! That just so happens to be the color this young lady has decided to use!”

Keith gives Gracie a thumbs up, “Let me finish cleaning this up and wash my hands and I am all yours for a Gracie-Pink nail polish session.”

Only five minutes later Keith is sitting cross-legged in front of Gracie while she paints his nails with a fierce determination. She refused to let Lance paint Keith’s nails. Veronica walks in looking for Lance but sends Keith a devious smirk, “That color looks good on you Kogane!”

He smirks back waving his left hand with bright pink nails in Veronica’s direction, “Don’t I know it McClain!”

Veronica flops down on one of the chairs with a sigh. She rolls her head to the side and nudges her brother, “Lancey Lance! My sweet, favorite youngest brother, how much do you love your amazing sister?”

Lance shrugs, “Depends on what I get out of driving your sorry ass home.” Keith looks between the two siblings, “How do you know she wants you to drive?”

Lance just rolled his eyes and tilted his head towards Veronica as if to say ‘just watch’.

And just that quick Veronica answers, “I’ll pay for Taco Bell and a Dairy Queen blizzard if you drive.”

Lance taps his chin and winks at Gracie, “I don’t know. I’m not sure it’s enough. What do you think Gracie?”

Gracie giggles, “You should get a happy meal from McDonalds instead of Taco Bell. There’s a new toy that looks like the lions Keith has been drawing.”

Lance pretends to think some more, “I think you might be on to something. A boy can’t go wrong with a burger, a toy and a blizzard.”

Veronica fights off a yawn, “You’ve got a deal!”

By this time Gracie has finished with Keith and looks at Veronica, “You want to get your nails done?”

Veronica smiles at Gracie, “I thank you for the offer but how about you hold that polish and do my nails tomorrow?”

Gracie nods and hands the polish to Keith so he can put it on a table next to some get well balloons. Keith is pulling a blanket over Gracie just as her dad comes in to sit with her for the night. He gives a small wave to Gracie and her dad and follows Lance and Veronica out.

Keith turns to head back to Coran’s office when Lance calls out to him, “Hey! I thought you were getting off.”

Keith shakes his head, “Coran is off tomorrow and asked if I could take care of a few extra things tonight so I’m here till 4. Since its Friday I didn’t mind and I get Saturday and Sunday off.”

Veronica flips off Keith, “You suck. I’m here all weekend.”

Lance and Keith both laugh but Keith gives Veronica a sympathetic pat to the shoulder, “I’m not quite that lucky. I’ll be busting ass this weekend studying for Microbiology and British Lit. I’ve got a test in both Monday.”

Veronica smirks, “Well in that case, it sucks to be you Kogane.”

Lance’s eyes widen, “You’re off tomorrow? You should come to the house. Mama wants to do a dinner for Nadia’s first dance recital and there’s gonna be tons of food.”

Veronica frowned, “Why wasn’t I invited?”

Lance rubbed the back of his neck, “I may have just remembered I was supposed to tell you that Mama was gonna have the dinner after you get off of work tomorrow so that you could come.”

Veronica sighed in exasperation, “You’re lucky I’m so tired or I would beat your ass. But yes, Keith, you should come over. Take a break from all that studying. I’m sure Mama won’t mind.”

“What time is everything? I’ve got to get at least a few hours of sleep tomorrow.”

Lance waves a hand, “Nadia’s recital is sometime in the morning so Mama will probably start cooking around one or two so come over any time after that.”

Keith nods, “Sounds good,” and waves the pair of them off and heads back to Coran’s office to finish pulling the resources Coran would need for a conference in a couple of weeks. Once he’s pulled the books and printed the articles Keith still had a few hours to look over his notes for his upcoming tests. The next thing he knows someone is shaking his shoulder to wake him up.

Keith sat up and stares with unfocused eyes. He noticed a person in his line of vision but all he could focus on was a shock of white hair. His voice was raspy and slurred with sleepiness, “Allura?”

Keith felt something cool against his cheek. He moved to swat Allura’s hand from his face and heard her giggle, “You might want to let me get this for you.”

Keith glared for a second until Allura pulled out a hand mirror and showed him a smudge of black ink and pink highlighter across his cheek. Looking down he notices the bright pink polish from the night before is smudged and he realizes it’s not highlighter on his face. “Fuck.”

Allura snorted and continued wiping at Keith’s face. “What is this anyway?”

Keith waves a hand in front of Allura to show her the nail polish and she sits down in defeat but continues to wipe at his cheek, “Well then, I don’t think this is coming off with just a wet paper towel. You may have to take care of that when you get home.”

Keith sighs, “I’m not surprised.”

She watches as Keith lets out a yawn and rubs his eyes. “What time were you supposed to get off last night?”

Keith sat and resigned himself to letting Allura manhandle him for the moment; she was still trying to wipe the stubborn pink streak from his cheek. She could be pretty persistent when she felt Keith needed a bit of coddling and in the eight months she and Shiro had been dating he knew when to just give in and let her get it out of her system. Today was one of those days but it didn’t mean he had to like it. He grumbled a bit under his breath before answering her. “Coran asked me to stay till 4 so I could pull the resources for his conference.”

Allura hummed and began trying to smooth down Keith’s hair after giving up on his face. “Well, it’s a little after 8. Are you going to be ok driving home?”

Keith half-heartedly tried to swat Allura’s hands away once again as he stared at the time on the computer screen in front of him. His eyes were still unfocused from just waking up and when he was finally able to make out the time all he managed was another curse. “Fuck.”

Allura hummed again but continued her unrelenting task of trying to tame Keith’s hair “Seems to be the word of the day. Should I call Shiro to come pick you up?”

This time Keith managed a full on glare, “No, I’ll be fine.”

Allura nodded, “Text me when you get home. You’ve got 30 minutes or I will call Shiro and send him to your apartment to make sure you made it.”

Keith sighed as Allura made her way down the hall. He began gathering his books and before he headed out he set an alarm on his phone to remind himself to text Allura.  He knew she would actually call Shiro but she wouldn’t tell him the real reason. Allura tended to get revenge in different ways. She would tell probably tell Shiro she caught Keith at a strip club or picking up a prostitute or something of the sort and his poor gullible older brother would believe his deceptively sweet and innocent looking girlfriend.

Keith pulled into a parking spot and trudged up the stairs to his apartment. He made it to his room dropping his bag with his books in the doorway and fell into his bed without changing. He managed to fish his phone from his pocket and sent a one word text to Allura and fell promptly asleep.

                **Keith 8:33:** _home_

**Allura 8:35** : Good!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Keith had come to learn over the past several months that dinner at the McClain household was always a big deal. There was always a reason to have people over and copious amounts of food. If there was a special event that was occurring then the amount of food and people seemed to double, sometimes even triple. Today was no exception. Keith was always amazed at just how large the McClain family really was. There were so many brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, and cousins that Keith could never keep track. Hunk had once told him that even though he and Lance had been best friends since practically birth he couldn’t remember everybody either. He just called everyone Tia or Tio if he couldn’t remember their name, which Keith learned and maybe forgot every time, was Spanish for aunt or uncle.

Keith was just getting out of his car when he was accosted by several McClain kids. He recognized Nadia, Sylvio, Nicholas, and Lucy but the other 50 kids, he had no clue who they were. He could only assume several of the girls were from Nadia’s dance class as they all had the same costume as Nadia. What truly amazed him however, was the fact that they all seemed to know him, or at least his name.  He was saved by Lisa coming through the yard yelling at the kids to leave Keith alone.

He grinned as he watched all 100 kids seem to disperse the closer she got. He swore there wasn’t that many just a minute ago. Lisa pulled him into a hug as soon as she reached him, “Thanks for coming. Lance said he invited you.”

Keith nodded, “Yea I was actually off today and I would be a fool to try and cook for myself when I can have amazing food here.”

Lisa grinned, “No wonder Rosa likes you so much. You’re always talking about how good her food is and helping with the dishes making the rest of us look like heathens!”

Keith laughed, “Are you kidding me? I am nothing but a heathen, just ask my brother. I just know Rosa is a scary lady and not to be messed with.”

Veronica walked up followed by Joey and Luis, “I knew it was all an act. I’m gonna tell Mama what you said.” Joey just shook his head, “It won’t work Ronnie! She likes Keith more than all of us, even more than Lance and his ass gets away with everything just because he’s the baby!”

Luis laughed, “Well personally I think it’s about time someone dethrones Lance as the favorite. Even if it is a heathen like Keith.”

Rosa walked out carrying a large dish of something that smelled amazing. She was glaring at Luis and handed the dish off to him, “Take this to the back.” Keith grinned at Luis over Rosa’s shoulder as she pulled him into a hug, “I can’t believe my children are calling you a heathen. They could all learn some manners from you.”

Rosa released Keith and patted his cheek, “Hunk and Lance are out back. Make yourself at home.”

Keith walked to the back yard where most of the family had gathered. He was followed by Veronica, “I thought you had to work today?”

Veronica grinned, “Allura made Liz take my shift when she heard about our ‘family gathering’. She may have heard through the grapevine that Liz had been calling in sick and forcing other people to cover for her because she knew they were the only one available.”

Keith smirked, “The grapevine being you?”

Veronica shrugged and gave Keith a mischievous wink as she walked off.

Keith continued making his way to the backyard where there were several large trees, and old barn off to the side and tables and chairs spread about. Just past the tables, Keith watched as the herd of children that mobbed him upon his arrival chase Lance. The kids were screaming and the lanky boy was always just out of reach until he managed to grab onto a tire swing and yell “SAFE!” The kids groaned and began begging for another round of whatever they had just finished.

Hunk walked up next to Keith, “I don’t know how he has the energy. He’s been playing hide and seek with them for the past half hour.”

Keith raised an eyebrow as all of the kids immediately sat on the ground, lined up and all facing the same direction, and covered their eyes and started counting out loud in unison, “Hide and seek?”

Hunk shrugged, “More like Lance hides every time and the kids try to find him. He’s pretty good at hiding and most of the time he slips out of his hiding spot long enough to let one of them spot him. Then it’s an all-out chase to tag him before he reaches base.”

Keith watched as Lance slipped away from the hoard of kids to hide almost in plain sight at a table with a group of adults. The kids ran around for about 10 minutes screaming for Tio Lance until finally he stood up and ran around as the kids started chasing him.  He was about five feet from the tire swing deemed as “safe” when it happened. Lance was cornered by several kids with nowhere to go. He gave in to the inevitable and let himself get dragged down into a screaming mess of shrieking kids. Hunk patted Keith’s shoulder as Lance screeched for help. He watched as Hunk moved with ease scooping child after child up and to the side before reaching down and pulling Lance to his feet.  Lance, dramatic as always draped himself across Hunk’s back exclaiming loudly about saving him. It was at this moment that Lance either noticed Keith or Hunk gave him away. Either way Lance grinned and practically bounced towards Keith with every child following dutifully behind him.

“Hey mullet! Wanna help me keep these kids occupied with a game of soccer or something?”

Keith internally groaned, he knew there was no getting out of this but he fought back on principle. “I did not come here for physical activity. I’m here for food only!”

Lance had been bending over whispering in Nadia’s ear. “Aw come on man! You’re not gonna disappoint all these kids are you?”

At that moment Nadia turned to Keith with big eyes and a pout on her face, no doubt taught by Lance, “Please Tio Keith? Please?”

At Nadia’s begging all the other kids began a cacophony of pleas and Keith paled at the sound of kids he didn’t even know calling him Tio. His voice was just below screeching when he responded, “What the hell is a Tio?”

Lance was using his knee to repeatedly hit a soccer ball in the air that seemed to appear from thin air, “It means uncle in Spanish. How many times have you been here and you haven’t learned this yet?”

Keith glared at him, “How the hell was I supposed to know? I’m not a Tio or an uncle.”

Hunk laughed, “Dude, get used it. I was Tio Hunk on my first visit.”

Lance was laughing as well when he slung an arm over Keith’s shoulder, “Yea it just means they like you. But seriously, you’re not gonna turn these kids down are you? I mean especially not Nadia since it’s her day right?”

Keith glared at Lance as he waggled his eyebrows at him. But his biggest mistake was looking back at Nadia who still had the pout on her face. And if he wasn’t mistaken there was a glint of something dangerous in her eyes as she made her bottom lip start to tremble. Keith may not know much about kids but he did know he wasn’t about to be the reason any of them would cry, even if he thought it was a trap. So with a sigh he gave in and resigned himself to a game of soccer.

Lance immediately decided he and Keith would be on opposite teams and each had the task of choosing kids for their teams. Keith watched as Lance picked his team, he immediately went for brawn picking some of the larger kids. Keith on the other hand had a different strategy and started right off with Nadia.  He knew from experience bigger was not always better. Lance’s team was definitely stacked in size while Keith’s team was made up of mostly the smaller kids from Nadia’s dance class. But this was soccer where speed and agility was definitely going to be the advantage. 

Hunk was the referee and Keith and Lance were mainly cheering on the kids. All in all it was a close game and when Rosa called for everyone to eat the game was tied 7-7. Hunk as ref decided the tie breaker would be a kick-off. One person from each team would get a shot at the goal until one team scored and the other didn’t.  Lance picked Nicholas as his kicker and a rough and tumble looking girl named Natasha as his goalie.  Keith picked Lucy as his goalie and Nadia as his kicker.  Compared to the kids on Lance’s team, Nadia seemed at least 3-4 inches shorter than even the shortest kid which so happened to be her twin brother Sylvio. But Keith had been watching her and she was fast. The same went for Lucy. Even though Nicholas was younger than her, he was a few inches taller and had more mass, but Lucy was quick and Keith didn’t doubt she would stop the other team from scoring. 

Lance had seen Keith’s choices and was grinning, “Alright mullet. You’re about to watch the sharpshooter and his team win this game!”

Keith just nodded, “You’re talking a big game over there McClain!”

After three shots each the game was still tied 7-7 so Hunk suggested switching goalies and kickers. Lance agreed but Keith decided to stick with his original choice. Lance’s team opted to kick last and when Nadia saw the boy Lance had chosen as goalie she began to panic, “Tio Keith, I don’t think I can make it.”

Keith knelt down in front of her, “Hey, listen to me. It’s ok if you don’t make it. You know this is all for fun right?”

Nadia nodded, “But I want us to win.”

Keith looked over at Lance and saw his cocky smirk. Yea, he wanted to win too, if only to knock Lance down a peg or two. He looked back at Nadia and grabbed her hands. “What’s that kids name over there?”

Nadia looked over at the other goalie, “His name is Max.”

Keith nodded, “He was goalie the whole game. He always stays to one side.  You see him right now? He’s on the side closest to Lance. He’s also not very fast.  And I’ve been watching you as well. You can kick with both feet right?”

Nadia nodded. Keith grinned, “Good, so here’s what you’re gonna do. I want you to pretend you’re gonna kick like normal, but at the last minute I want you to kick with your other foot. You kick that ball with your other foot and it will go to the other side. He’s not fast enough to catch it. Can you do that?”

Nadia smiled and Keith patted her shoulder. He watched as she took a big breath and ran towards the ball. And just as he asked her, she kicked with her opposite foot and Max, just as predicted was too slow and missed. The score was 8-7 and all they had to do was keep the lead.

Lance’s team was up to kick and he had pulled Natasha as his kicker hoping to intimidate Lucy. Keith walked over to Lucy to give her a pep talk as well but Lucy waved him away. He was shocked as Lucy gave him the run down, “Natasha is all fancy foot work but her kicks are sloppy.  She gets too focused on trying to look fast but she trips up and kicks too far. On the off chance she gets a good kick in I’ll be ready for it.”

Keith gave her a fist bump and a grin, “Let’s show your Tio Lance how it’s done.”

Just as predicted, Natasha tried to overdo it with the footwork and just as she was about to kick she stumbled. Her kick was not only wide but did not have a lot of momentum. Lucy lazily walked forward and picked the ball up that didn’t even make it close to the goal. With a grin she threw it at Lance. “You lose!”

Keith laughed as he watched Lance slump his shoulders. The kids on his team were screaming and jumping and he was surrounded by a chorus of “We did it Tio Keith!” and high fives.

Once the kids dispersed, Keith strolled over to Lance and for once he was the one slinging an arm around someone else’s shoulder, “Better luck next time sharpshooter!”

Lance glared and shrugged away as Hunk came up on his other side. Hunk high fived Keith and ruffled Lance’s hair, “Come on Lance don’t be such a sore loser. It’s just a game.”

Lance sighed, “I know, I know. But I lost to a mullet!”

Keith couldn’t even respond to the insult, he just shoved Lance away with a laugh, “If we were playing football instead of soccer you may have had a better chance. Just goes to show you, size doesn’t always matter.”

Keith walked off unaware of the blush on Lance’s face at his unintended innuendo.

Several hours later Keith was sitting outside next to Lance. The pair of them was sitting near a fire pit with Veronica, Luis, Marco, Lisa, Elizabeth, and Rachel. Hunk had left early loaded down with several containers of food. He had been unable to stay later because he had an early shift Sunday morning. Most of the kids from Nadia’s dance class were gone and the few that were still there were sleeping over and passed out in Veronica’s old room. There wasn’t much conversation, but the snippets Keith caught were mostly going on elsewhere and in Spanish. It was warm and comfortable in a way that Keith wasn’t accustomed to. He was never fond of large crowds but something about Lance’s family was never overwhelming. If Keith had to describe it, it was like drinking hot chocolate after a long day in the cold. It was comforting and soothing and without thinking he placed a hand on his chest and rubbed absentmindedly. It was as if he could almost feel the warmth down to his bones soothing something that he hadn’t realized had been missing.

Veronica gave him an odd look, “Are you alright Keith?”

He jerked his head up at the sudden break in silence, hand still on his chest, “Yea, I’m fine.”

Veronica leaned forward and grabbed his free hand, fingers on his wrist checking his pulse, “Are you sure? Does your chest hurt?”

Keith frowned and shook his head, “No, really I was just thinking. I promise I’m fine.”

Lance’s brow was wrinkled in concern as he watched Veronica “Is something wrong?”

Veronica narrowed her eyes at Keith, “No his pulse is normal. Keith, are you sure you’re ok? You were rubbing your chest as if it hurt.”

Keith huffed, “Veronica, I’m fine. I was just daydreaming and didn’t realize what I was doing.”

Veronica finally let Keith’s wrist go and sat back with a scowl. “Fine, but don’t do that again. I really thought something was wrong.”

After several more minutes, everyone slowly began to disperse leaving just Keith and Lance by the fire. The lack of conversation had Keith’s thoughts drifting and without realizing it he was rubbing his chest again. It wasn’t until Lance grabbed his wrist did he realize what he was doing. “Dude, seriously are you ok? Should I go get Veronica?”

Keith looked down at his arm being held by Lance. “Sorry, I didn’t realize I was doing that.”

Lance didn’t let go of Keith’s arm, he just turned in his chair to face Keith directly, “Why do you keep doing that anyway?”

Keith shrugged, “Just thinking really.”

Lance tilted his head to the side, “What were you thinking about?”

Keith blinked slowly, “I was thinking about your family actually.”

Keith waited, expecting Lance to ask another question, but instead he just sat there waiting for Keith to continue without having to prompt him.

Keith looked around at the few small groups of Lance’s family still lingering here and there. “I don’t usually do well in large crowds, especially with some of my past experiences. I used to have severe anxiety attacks, social anxiety and all that, especially in school. It got better after I was adopted. My mom and dad researched for weeks before sending me to therapy. But occasionally I still have set backs. But tonight I never once felt any anxiety even with all the people here that I don’t know. And I was just thinking that your family is just so comfortable.”

Lance snorted, “You make them sound like an old worn out sweater that you just can’t bear to get rid of.”

Keith nodded; his expression serious, “But that’s exactly what it’s like. I couldn’t quite explain it but that’s very accurate.”

“We are talking about my loud, boisterous, very outspoken family right mullet?”

Keith rolled his eyes and began to rub his chest again, unaware that Lance had yet to let go of his arm. “Yes idiot. I mean, I’ve obviously been comfortable with my parents and Shiro, but it’s different here. Like you said, a worn out sweater you can’t get rid of, but fresh out the dryer on a cold day. It’s warm.”

This time Keith looked down at his hand, and Lance’s hand holding his arm. He patted his chest; consciously making sure Lance noticed the movement. “It’s warm in here.”

Lance finally let go of Keith’s arm and gave him a soft smile. “I’m glad my family makes you feel that.”

Keith returned the smile and for a moment he thought that maybe it wasn’t just Lance’s family that made him feel that warmth deep in his chest. Just for the briefest of moments he thought maybe Lance was the reason for that warm feeling.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone reading this story and to those who are sticking around regardless of my inconsistent updates! Your Kudos and comments give me life!

**Author's Note:**

> If you've gotten this far THANK YOU for reading! This is a long story and if you're here for the Keith/Lance relationship I promise it will happen. This is a very slow building story with a lot of plot. I live for kudos and love nice comments! If you see I've forgotten a tag please let me know! I will try to warn for possible triggers but if I don't catch something please please please let me know. And just as a warning there are some tags that have been left out intentionally so as not to spoil up-coming plots. Keep an eye out for those changes!
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> [follow me on tumblr if you want!](http://jenni1229.tumblr.com/)


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